back to MAIN














Television Studio Of Comically (Not Really) Mistaken Identities And Sexy Weather. Sheila, the blonde bimbo from the teaser, runs up to greet Mulder and Scully. "We were beginning to worry that you wouldn't make it. Is this your first time in a TV studio? How exciting. I couldn't be happier for the two of you." Scully goes to interrupt, but Mulder stops her. Sheila then grabs Holman, the weatherman, brings him over to Mulder and Scully and introduces him to "the Gundersons." Holman shakes their hands, congratulating them and saying that he hopes they "have a truly romantic getaway." Mulder remains pleasantly silent through all of this. Scully has to pull out her badge and set the record straight. Sheila thought they were the "Watch the Weather and Win" contest winners. It's to promote good PR with the community because of the drought and all. Then the real Gundersons have arrived. They look kind of older and Mrs. Gunderson is pretty plump. Mulder smiles at Scully and mutters, "It's like looking in a mirror." Then Mulder and Scully end up in Holman's office and they sit together on the couch. Holman says that he thought they looked rather "smartly dressed" for a farm couple. Mulder comments on Kroner's weird weather. Holman then gets excited and says that although Kroner may look sad and dull, the weather is "sophisticated, complex and... well... sexy." Scully shoots an eyebrow and Mulder grins at Scully. Oh, would you two just do it already? Holman continues, saying that Kroner is an exciting place for a meteorologist. Scully asks Holman for the 411 on Daryl. Holman doesn't think that Daryl is causing the drought, the responsible party being a high-pressure system. "Can we go now?" Scully snits at Mulder. Something tells me that Scully wants to get out of hick-ville as soon as possible. Mulder asks Holman about Daryl's rain. Apparently, that's a "clouded issue." Everything on this show is a clouded issue. The mytharc: Aliens, bounty hunters, clones, hybrids, super soldiers and an AlienMiracleBaby. Mulder and Scully: When did the sex actually begin? It's all a foggy cloud. Like Chris Carter's office. Anyways, Holman went to high school with Daryl. He's an ignorant low-life but apparently the rain is genuine. "Where he wanders, showers follow."

Monroe Farm Of "Cherokee" Crip Dances. Mulder and Scully arrive at what looks like a family picnic. There's a tent with a table covered in food, lots of people standing around. Scully thinks that they'll believe anything because they're desperate. Mulder merely comments on Daryl's tardiness. Next thing you know, a red truck pulls up with the license plate "RAINKNG." The farmer family gets all excited. Daryl gets out of the truck and we see he's missing a leg. Miss Perky, who was with him in the truck, hands him some crutches and he goes over to the tent, sits down and grabs a beer from a cooler. Daryl tries to charm the farmers and he pawns his crutches off on some fool. Miss Perky brings over this huge black case and inside there's a prosthetic booted leg. He rudely informs her that she brought the wrong boot and to get the red snakeskin. Mulder and Scully approach Daryl and he's all, "Ooh! Looky here. The FBI." Scully says they came to see the show but she guesses they came too early. Apparently, Daryl's truck is faster than the rain clouds. Miss Perky hands Daryl his fake leg and we're treated to a nice shot of his stump. Mulder asks Daryl to explain his "unique ability." Daryl says that it's complicated and he can't explain it. Because he's an imbecile. Mulder claims to watch The Weather Channel so he'd like Daryl to try and explain it. Daryl did not ask for this gift nor did he ask to lose his leg. But he's not surprised because he comes "from a long line of healing people. [He's] a spiritual man, in touch... with the really real. The, the unseen real." The only real thing about Daryl is that he's an idiot. Miss Perky then starts playing some generic pop music on the boombox and Daryl starts dancing. Well, I guess you could call it dancing. He can't really move the fake leg and it just sort of drags. Daryl's just getting started, though. "And I... am one 64th Cherokee and I can summon up my ancestors to bring water to this thirsty land. Yeah!" I can't think of any indigenous people who'd want to claim Daryl. I'm sure all those buried Cherokee people are turning over in their graves. Daryl then gets even more into his crip dance, as he claps his hands and hobbles all over the tent. Scully can't take much more of this and walks away, out from the tent and into the dried up pasture. "Mulder, what are we doing here?" He then starts pulling Native American history out of his butt and blah blahs about "rainmakers" and "Pueblo Indians." Scully doesn't think Daryl's hobbling is a rain dance and her Irish Aunt Olive has got more Cherokee blood than Daryl. "I mean, look at him, Mulder. Does that look like a man who can control the weather?" Then it thunders and starts pouring. The family starts celebrating. Mulder and Scully are getting drenched and as they look over at Daryl, he forms his hands into guns and shoots at them victoriously. Whatever. We all know he's full of BS.


PAGES: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9