SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

In the beginning (T)

1x00: PILOT … God said, “Let there be a show about two feisty hot FBI agents chasing aliens!” Yeah, it was ignored for a while. Until 1993. Join us as TWoP’s Jessica takes us back to the very plausible state of Oregon. Quick, before Cancer Man hides the recap inside the Pentagon somewhere! (TWOP RECAP by Jessica)

The One Where Oz Is A Stoner

1x01: DEEP THROAT - On their first post-pilot case, Mulder and Scully visit a UFO hotspot and learn about alien rashes, various diners, casual fashions, and how to spot a fake reporter. Seth Green rides along. You can bring your USGS quadrant map if you want -- but it won't help. Sucker!

Lock Your Doors, Clsoe your Windows…

1x02: SQUEEZE – … And die anyway, because this week’s monster wants your liver, and he’ll stop at nothing to get it, including making Mulder betray his cool exterior. Ew. Plus: arrogant Donal Logue. Take him, Tooms! Take him!

Samantha Vs. Binary Code

1x03: CONDUIT – Yes, that’s right, we get some more information about Samantha this week, but in true mytharc fashion, it contradicts what we’ve seen before. Couldn’t they have gone at least 5 episodes without screwing up? (Recap by Lurkey)

Scully goes on a date!

1x04: THE JERSEY DEVIL – Yes, a date! With a guy! Who isn’t a serial killer! Or an alien! Or Mulder! A real date! Isn’t it amazing? In other news, some boring BS about Mulder chasing a naked lady. Again. This is just like Encino Man, but without Brendan Fraser having a bath. So, not iteresting at all. But Scully goes on a date! (Recap by supposebly)

My Boss Doesn't Murder Terrorists For Me -- And He's Alive!

1x05: SHADOWS - Scully goes off the SRE deep end with her belief that a photographic blur is an accomplice -- which actually turns out to be right. Sort of. If you like vengeful spirits and/or the fashions of the early '90s, you'll love this episode. (Recap by As An Amoeba)

I'm Sorry, Dave…I Can't Watch That

1X06: GHOST IN THE MACHINE—Mulder and Scully battle a supercomputer with daddy issues in this episode that luckily did not drive Duchovny back into academia. Great Police album, crappy X-File. (Recap by Lurkey)

Mulder, Scully, some assorted stragglers, and Felicity Half-man walk into a research facility

1x07: ICE – …where they find evil worms. No, seriously. They make you evil, evil, EVIL. Still, at least Our Friend Flick(a) didn’t bring the Scavo kids with her. Now THAT would have been torture.

Ghostface Killah

1x08: SPACE – You know that Chris Carter is running out of ideas when you make a story about the Space Face. A story about astronauts in a show all about visitors from outer space, and it’s still boring. That takes talent. (Recap by funkymunky)

Mulder To The Max (T)

1x09: FALLEN ANGEL – It’s off to Wisconsin this week, where M.F. Luder (that’s Mulder to you, bi-otch) meets up with a repeat alien abductee. An invisible alien goes on a quasi-rampage, something else happens, and then Max is abducted. It’s sorta hard to tell because Max rocks so damn much. (TWOP RECAP by Jessica)

1x09: FALLEN ANGEL (recap by Supposebly)

An Eve-el Twin Story

1x10: EVE – Two identical little girls poison their parents on opposite sides of America, then unite and try to do the same to our heroes. And that’s not even the most disturbing thing in the episode. Did you see Harriet Sansom Harris’s teeth? Luckily, Jessica recapped this, so we don’t have to.

Shall You Fancy A Bonk, Mister Mulder?

1x11: FIRE – In this oh-so-American take on the Brits and their foolish aristocracy, Mark Sheppard from Firefly plays a fire-bug. How mildly ironic. In other news, Scully does an awesome British accent. Tally ho! (Recap by Raceguy)

Brad Dourif + Burial At Sea = Bobby Darin Not Rolling In His Grave

1x12: BEYOND THE SEA – And he never will be after watching this awesome episode, in which Mulder gets shot and Starbuck believes for the first time. Oh, and Mulder likes the Knicks, apparently. Does he not realise he lives in Washington?

Before They Were Stars: Nicholas Lea

1x13: GENDERBENDER – In Rob Bowman’s first episode on The X-Files, Jolly Saint Nick acts the hell out of a clubgoer who nearly gets killed by a gender-bending (oh, now I get the title!) near-Amish freak. Fun for all ages!

The Title Lies

1x14: LAZARUS – There is no coming back from the dead in this episode, although there is body-switching between an evil bank-robber and Scully’s ex. But they’re both dead by the end, so you shippers can rest easy tonight. (Recap by Slippin' Mickeys)

I Am Not A Animal-Man!

1x15: YOUNG AT HEART – Reverse-aging? Check. Escaped prisoners? Check. Mulder getting called Fox? Check. Also, a man with a salamander hand. Something smells fishy. Or at least salamander-y.

Deep Throat Works For The Enemy!

1x16: E.B.E. – OMG!!!!1111!!! Yes, it’s that sort of episode. If you can follow the dancing truck, you’ve watched this episode too much. Still, we find out that Deep Throat not only works for the enemy, but got to kill an alien. Man, I wish I was him. Except for what happens later on. (Yeah, I’m still pissed about him not being in the finale. What were you thinking?)

A Reap Of Faith

1x17: MIRACLE MAN – A Tennessee faith healer starts killing people. Then he ends up in court. Either way, someone’s gonna have to “Testify!”

Manitou Madness

SHAPES – Welcome to Montana, a land where, apparently, all Indians (uh, Native Americans) are evil werewolves, as if there is any other kind. Not a lot happens in the episode, racist or otherwise.

Deforestation Is Bad, Yo

1x19: DARKNESS FALLS - Are you afraid of the dark? Well if you live in the Pacific Northwest you should be. You could be attacked by ancient insects that look like neongreen static and then hang you from a tree in a cocoon. Then Scully would have to be pulleyed up to get your rotted corpse down. Hopefully before she has a panic attack. (Recap by Bolissa)

Revenge Of The Liver-Eating Nerds

TOOMS – He’s ba-ack! And this time, he wants revenge, dammit! Of course, this means that he will frame Mulder for assaulting him instead of doing the obvious thing and claiming his last victim. Sigh, the logic ship, she is sailed.

“I’ll See Your Poltergeist and Raise You a Reincarnation”

1x21: BORN AGAIN – – or “I’ll See Your Poltergeist and Raise You a Reincarnation”, in which Scully discovers that she should have gotten the Wardrobe Mistress a better quality fruitcake for the Festive Season, and Mulder makes everyone wonder why Oxford gave him that PhD in Abnormal Psychology. Recap by Crass, wardrobe for Mr Duchovny by the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

E=MC²… Or Does It?

ROLAND – Remember Governor Devlin from Oz? Well, in this episode, he’s a mentally handicapped janitor who gets possessed by his sort-of-twin brother and starts to kill. Will the guest star irony never cease? Also, will the possession stories?

Can I Trust YOU When You Say, “Trust No One”?

THE ERLENMEYER FLASK – In the season finale, a man breathes underwater for days on end, Scully sees an alien (of sorts), Deep Throat swallows a bullet, and the X-Files are closed. See you next season… maybe.