SEASON 1

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SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

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SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Outside the House’o’Creepy, 10:56pm. Poopydoo is looking for Sweetness, but he’s not inside the house. Outside, there’s a furnace going and some spooky chanting. Sweetness is up to something. He’s digging something up out of the ground. Ooh, it’s all bloody and gross, but he caresses it lovingly. Poopydoo’s heading out to the big old incinerator that’s cooking up a storm and Sweetness comes up behind her, giving her a start. He tells her he’s burning leaves, but she’s all “At this time of night?” Apparently raking up the yard was in the job jar (???) O-kay. Poopydoo isn’t as stupid as her fashion sense would indicate, and she feels she’s being lied to, but she goes back indoors to let Sweetness get on with whatever nefarious activity he has planned for the night. Aw, poor Sweetness is crying. I think it’s the baby that’s been barbequed.

Nice lapse to Mulder, asleep in the car. He’s obviously been staking out Sweetness on his own, but there’s a reason why there should be two teams of agents in twelve-hour shifts. He’s doing it by himself with no-one to drool on, or to drool on him. Poor, lonely Mulder. It’s 6:57 am and he’s woken by his phone ringing. Of course it’s Scully, and she’s been up all night too, examining the Weinsider baby’s charts. Scully uses a lot of long medical words, as is her wont, but Mulder breaks it down for us by asking if she means horns. Scully medico-babbles along while Mulder amuses himself by drawing devil-horns on a picture of Sweetness with a Magic Marker. Scully then tells Mulder that Virginia law on third-trimester abortions requires him to put Poopydoo under arrest as labour was induced by the use of mandrake. How would that work, considering Mulder isn’t even supposed to be there? Is it even the jurisdiction of the FBI? Mulder is not looking happy with this information. Mulder watches Sweetness leave in a red convertible, while pretending to listen to Scully as she tells him she’s going to fax the information to the Roanoke county attorney. She tells him to be sensitive as it’s likely to be an emotional case – hey Scully? I think Mulder tuned out after the mandrake thing. Sweetness has totally seen Mulder staking out the place, but he leaves anyway, and sure enough, Mulder decides to do some investigating on his own.

Cut to – Sweetness knocking at the front door of another house, and a very pregnant lady answers the door. She asks him what he’s doing and he says he forgot his key. Whaaaa?? She asks where he’s been, and he says, “I told you I was going to be on the road until Tuesday, poopydoo.” Now I’m completely sure he’s evil. However, Poopydoo II is much less frumpy than Poopydoo, and is dressed in a really pretty blue maternity dress that sets off the beautiful blue of her eyes. Sweetness has a second family! The dawg! He refers to their baby as their ‘bundle of joy’. Argh! He’s pure evil!

Back to Mulder, who has upset Deputy Stevens, who’s vociferously denying that his sister took anything to end her pregnancy, by accusing Mulder of taking hallucinogens. Oh, Deputy, you don’t know how close you are. You are but one in a long line to think this about our favourite boy Spooky. Sweetness chooses this moment to return and Poopydoo tells him she’s being accused of taking the life of their baby. The Deputy is not happy with Sweetness either, for leaving Poopydoo alone to cope with the mess. Mulder tells Sweetness he doesn’t want to arrest Laura and says that he thinks that Sweetness would ‘hate like the devil’ for that to happen, but he says it in a really insinuating way, letting Sweetness know that he suspects. Sweetness gives the police permission to search the premises, and they seem to be doing a very thorough job of the yard. I’m thinking Mulder was awake during the impromptu late-night barbeque.

Sweetness and Laura are watching the commotion, while Mulder walks though the house with some large pill containers, making a crack that everybody in the house must be regular, so I suppose they must be laxatives. Mulder, honey, if you’d ever been pregnant, you’d understand about that. The constipation is horrible. Laura says that she knows they won’t find anything, but Sweetness says there’s something he needs to tell her, that he’s kept secret. Oh, maybe Poopydoo II? No such luck. He spins some sort of horror story about how Poopydoo had aborted the baby herself in a trance, that she was chanting, yada yada yada, and that he burned the baby’s body in an attempt to cover up for her.