SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

< PREVIOUS

Ooh, FBI Headquarters, Washington D.C.. We are in the basement office, and a policeman is telling a dark-haired man about Poopydoo’s traumatic experience. Fake-out! It’s that little rat-weasel, Jeffrey Spender, not Mulder. He tells the policeman (whose name is Deputy Stevens) he’s come to the right place and it turns out that Poopydoo is Deputy Stevens’ sister. The plot thickens, or congeals, or something, and Poopydoo’s last name is Weinsider (I’m thinking the kid had a lucky escape, no way you want to go to school with that name). Deputy Stevens is a bit put out that people have been saying mean and awful things about what happened to his sister’s baby. The rat-weasel assures Deputy Stevens that his sister’s case will go right into his priority caseload. He fakes sincerity really well. Of course, as soon as the Deputy leaves the office, Spender puts it straight through the shredder. Oh, that Jeffrey!

A police cruiser arrives at Casa de Poopydoo and Sweetness. It’s the Deputy and, yay, Mulder! Who has obviously fished out the case from the shredder bin and glued it together (now that’s dedication) and has rushed straight down to sort out the Hollins Happenings. No sign of Scully, and Mulder is asking the Deputy to keep it on the QT, so I’m guessing he’s taken off from another assignment, leaving Scully to dig through the manure on her own.

Interior, and Mulder’s getting the story directly from Poopydoo, looking all interested and sincerely sincere. Poopydoo tells him that the baby was ‘some kind of monster’ (was that a Metallica riff I just heard?) with horns and a tail. Oh, Mulder. Babies with tails never go well for you. Mulder keeps an admirably straight face through all of this. Poopydoo becomes overwhelmed and leaves the room. Mulder confirms with Sweetness that he was right there in bed with his wife the whole time and when Sweetness agrees, Mulder says that his wife states she reached over and he wasn’t there. Sweetness says, “Well, it was a dream,” and Mulder appears to agree, but his foxy little eyes are saying something else. Mulder is suspicious of Sweetness. He asks to use Sweetness’s phone.

Cut to Scully interviewing a Mr Ginsberg at the US Department of Agriculture in Washington, D.C., at 11:17am. She asks him if he has ever smoked marijuana. By the look of him, he had to open all of the windows and turn the fans up high to get the smell out of the office before Scully showed up, but he denies ever having indulged. She then asks him if he has consorted with people who have now, or in the past. Whoa, Scully sounds quite hostile and bored, no doubt an explosive combination. Mr Ginsberg denies this too – what, didn’t he go to uni? Scully gives him a long, hard, look. Scully is sceptical, therefore she is. The telephone rings, and Scully answers it with an expression of relief. However, her relief is short-lived, as it’s Mulder on the other end: “Scully, it’s me.” Drink. She gestures for Mr Ginsberg to leave, and he does so, quickly, cognisant of escaping a fate worse than death. Scully is pissed. She waited 45 minutes for Mulder to show this morning and she wants to know where he is. Mulder is only going to tell her if she keeps an ‘open mind’. Huh. “This isn’t an X-File,” Scully says, ominously, hoping against hope that it’s true. Oh, Scully, you keep that flame alive. Mulder tells her it’s a demon baby snatching. Mulder wants Scully to take a look at the woman’s charts and give her medical opinion of the deformities the baby was suffering. Scully is so obviously at the end of her tether and you can tell that this is an argument she has had before with Mulder and she’s just a bit tired of it and you can tell she just wants to go home and take a bubble bath and forget she’s ever heard the name Fox Mulder. Ooh, Mulder just called Spender’s actions unconscionable (how I love a man that uses big words). Scully accuses him of rooting through Spender’s trash. Mulder asks Scully how that’s any different that the assignment they’re stuck with. Snap. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Scully: “We? Mulder, I’m stuck with it. You’re not here.” She is unimpressed by Mulder’s opinion that this is a ‘classic case of demon foetal harvest’, then he breaks out the Latin (is it hot in here?). This just brings on Scully’s sarcasm, using the term ‘demon seed’. Unfortunately the whole conversation is being picked up on the baby monitor and Sweetness can hear Mulder trying to convince Scully that there is something demonic going on in Roanoke.