SEASON 1

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SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

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SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Another day, or maybe the same day, but another Scully suit, bright cherry red this time, with a white blouse and, unless I am very much mistaken, matching white tights. Maybe it's that night, because it's night again. Do you ever notice that it's night a whole lot on this show? It's almost like that's on purpose or something. A "U-Move" trailer is parked outside Lauren's house, and she's carrying out her last few boxes, Mulder and Scully at her side. She's also wearing a sweater that would make fashion anthropologists specializing in the Clinton era very happy: oversized, with a mock turtleneck and white with multicolored diamonds on it. I guess it's technically argyle, but a very ugly, primary-color-based argyle. Now, I must note that I do realize Lauren's supposed to be a somewhat frumpy secretary, but still, I really have had a ball with her outfits in this episode. She makes Scully look high-fashion. SEASON 1 Scully. And let me remind you that Scully is, in fact, wearing white tights in this scene, and has been throughout the episode. (I should also note that Mulder's pants appear to be blue-grey, and his jacket sort of brown-grey, and let's just kindly say that it doesn't really match.)

Scully explains, more for us than for Lauren, I suspect, that Dorlund is basically toast, and in addition to all the terrorist hoo-ha they're charging him with Howard's murder. Lauren says happily that she'll come back to testify. Mulder asks where she's going; the answer is "Away from here." She starts the engine and, almost as an afterthought, leans out and says "Thanks" before peeling out of there. Yeah, getting away from these crazies is probably a wise course of action, Lauren. Nice to see she's FINALLY learning some self-preservation! Next stop: that HR poster in the break room.

Mulder and Scully watch her go. Mulder's tie looks like it's covered in...postage stamps? Maybe just postage-stamp-shaped designs. Remember when the whole "Mulder's crazy ties" thing was, well, a thing? It's in like, two episodes, and then it was in fanfic for the next ten years.

Following are two of the worst-delivered lines in the history of the generally very excellent acting on this show. Maybe part of the awkwardness is how they both turn their heads as if watching Lauren's car, but it couldn't be more obvious that they're just, you know, turning their heads, and the part with Lauren was shot three months ago or something. Mulder, sounding like he's in a school play, and waiting like seven beats too long to start: "Boy, she's in a rush to get out of here." Scully, all spooky-ish and randomly flirtatious: "Out of here, or away from the ghost of Howard Graaaaaves?" Then she smiles, and, to paraphrase Seth Green from the last episode I recapped, it's just like, what? Lord. It's so awkward, that exchange. This is probably the scene Chris Carter was watching when he decided they weren't relating onscreen and he wanted them to go to couples counseling. Heh. Anyway, following that is the oft-quoted exchange about the afterlife (Scully: "I'd settle for a life in this one" -- good luck with that, hon), and after that, as they get into their car, is a bit that is one of my favorites, despite the fact that Gillian is being randomly and lamely flirty for the first part of it. Because it's one of those sweet little "off-duty" Mulder/Scully moments that are so rare, and because I love it and stuff and this is my recap, I present it in its entirety:

Mulder: Have you ever seen the Liberty Bell?

Scully: Yes.

Mulder: You know, I've been to Philadelphia a hundred times and I've never seen it.

Scully: You're not missing much. It's a big bell with a big crack and you have to wait in a long line.

[car drives off; they continue in voice-over]

Mulder: Yeah, but I'd really like to go.

Scully: Why now?

Mulder: I don't know. *pause* How late do you think they stay open?

And then they went to the Liberty Bell, and they did have to stand in a long line and they were bored and talked about stuff and Mulder bought souvenirs and they ate some fried dough and they didn't film it because it was boring and didn't have any conflict or plot and so nobody cared about it but me.

Omaha, Nebraska, where Lauren's got a new job as assistant chintz sofa, I mean, secretary. That dress...the pattern...the puffed sleeves...oy. Thanks for going out with a bang, Lauren's wardrobe! It means a lot to me. *sniffle* She hands some Miss Gulch-looking lady some typed-up something-or-other, and Miss Gulch scolds her for being late with it -- she asked for it 25 minutes ago, for the love of little apples! And maybe that's how they do things BACK EAST, but here in the Midwest, PUNCTUALITY is a VIRTUE! Lauren looks a little crestfallen. Just then, Miss Gulch's coffee cup starts jiggling, and Lauren looks like she's...well, like she's seen a ghost, you might say. Miss Gulch, however, isn't the least bit fazed (nor phased, as in, hit by a phaser -- that's certainly a relief, too) -- she complains that they need new office space, because every time a truck goes by everything shakes. Lauren is thoroughly relieved, and she takes her chintz-covered self (A MATCHING BELT!!! With GOLD BELT BUCKLE) back to her desk, where the Ben Franklin plaque has a place of honor. She looks at it, and she thinks of Howard, and no one gets invisibly choked to death for her benefit in front of her eyes, and she smiles. Somewhere, a blurry witch hat is at peace.

You know what I just noticed? There aren't really any shadows in this episode. I mean, any more than usual. Ripoff!