SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Lauren is in her house, which is country-cluttered enough that it would give Doug Wilson a panic attack. She has managed to coordinate her teal blouse with her fireplace, which is covered in teal tile, which looks just awesome with the dark cherry trim. I cannot express how '80s that fireplace is. There's also a lot of wallpaper, and a lot of it is floral. And there's a corner cabinet with some ruffly wood trim. And a random folding chair next to the fireplace. Maybe she's going to burn it for fuel. And an oil painting over the fireplace? Geez. Anyway, Lauren's packing boxes in her Totally '90s: Casual outfit. And she's holding a can of delicious, refreshing Pepsi. You've got the right one, baby! Uh-huh! She has a big giant furry kitty that I immediately want. She dumps him off her newspaper and picks it up. Wandering over to the mantelpiece, she avoids eye contact with her huge oil painting and catches sight of the plaque from Howard's desk -- to-day, to-morrow, Ben Franklin, font, etc. She picks it up, a thoughtful look on her face. And -- there's a knock on the door. Her extremely wooden door surrounded by more wood. Does Lauren live in a log cabin?

She quickly puts the plaque down and peeps through the peephole. There are Mulder and Scully in fish-eye glory (that always does such wonders for Mulder's nose). She opens the door and Mulder skillfully blands his way past her halfhearted protests into the house. Oh, lord, more wallpaper, more dark wood, a sad and hideous watercolor painting, a stained-glass window, and a lamp made of gold. I swear, this house depresses the living crap out of me. I must have some unconscious association from my childhood or something.

Scully shows Lauren the pictures of the two Isfahan guys and asks if she's seen them before. Hee, the second guy's name is Rasdan Bungee. No wonder he turned to a life of crime; he probably got shit for his name his whole life. Lauren says she hasn't and tries to hand them back to Scully. Scully flashes just the slightest bit of cautionary dimple and suggests that she take her time. Lauren hesitates, looks again, and reaffirms in the negative. "I'm afraid you have," Scully says, and whips out a still from the surveillance video. What's with the big shady runaround, Scully? Mulder asks Lauren to describe what happened that night. She says she got jumped, managed to escape and didn't want to file a report. Mulder informs her that both men were found dead. Also, has she noticed that their SHOES WERE UNTIED? (Sorry, just trying to jazz things up with a little Bad Blood action.) Lauren looks upset.

"Have you ever seen this person before?" Scully asks then, and points to...oh, for God's sake. It's the smudge. Yes, the un-enhanceable smudge, still un-enhanced, still a smudge. This is making me think that they must have made the photo and done the closeups of it long after they filmed the rest of this, because, seriously? That is not a "person." Not even Mulder could think it's a person. It's not person-shaped. If anything, it's sort of shaped like a witch hat. But above all, it's a smudge. But instead of saying, "Uh, taxpayer-supported wackos, this is a picture of a blur of light, not of a person" (or, even more realistically, assuming Scully pointed inaccurately and is referring to one of the three HUMAN BEINGS in the picture), Lauren says, "No -- I'm sorry, I can't tell you." "Does that mean you KNOW?" says Mulder. You just cannot get anything by Mulder. One time there was this mystery about how a boy was brought into an operating room, and the doctor was going to operate on him but at the last minute stopped and said, "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son!" But the doctor was NOT the boy's father. How could that BE? But Mulder figured out that THE DOCTOR WAS THE BOY'S MOTHER! Because sometimes women can be doctors, but nobody ever thinks of that! Genius, he is. Anyway. Lauren squirms and repeats that she can't tell them, and Mulder hands her his card and suggests in a patronizingly patient voice that when she CAN tell them, she give him a call. He and Scully condescend themselves out the door.

On the way to the car, Scully expresses skepticism that a woman Lauren's size could break free and outrun the two men. "And crushing their necks?" Mulder concurs. Lauren peeks at them through the curtains as Scully says flatly that Lauren knows who "the other person in that photo" (seriously? BLURRY WITCH HAT) is. Mulder wonders what she's packing to run away from.