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SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

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Hospital. Shia's lying in his bed and Henry is there. As Mulder and Scully walk in, Henry asks them if they've found Shia's Mom. They haven't. "You know Cutrona took her. He did it to keep me from testifying." Whatever. Mulder tells Henry that Cutrona's their suspect but there's no sign of kidnapping. "He's too smart for that," Henry whines. I beg to differ. His name is Joe and he has all his friends call him Jimmy. Stupid. Like that douchenozzle on The Hills who's name is Justin but his friends call him Bobby. He tries to sound all profound by saying crap like "truth and time tells all" but really he's just a retard who happens to look like a poor man's Eddie Vedder. And he's dating Audrina, even though he won't actually come right out and say that she's his girlfriend, even when another dude is totally trying to get in there and asking him what his situation with Audrina is. And Audrina is a stupidity eclipse for dating this guy over and over again, even though he constantly does dicky things, like ditching her and belching in her face repeatedly. So Lauren and Lo, who totally rocks by the way, started calling him Justin-Bobby just to screw with him. Anyways, Mulder tells Henry that they can't get a search warrant even though 5 minutes ago Tony was telling Joe-Jimmy that a federal warrant was being issued. Man, I need to take a break...

Ok, I'm back. So Henry doesn't think the FBI moves fast enough and he wants someone to stay with Shia so he can go and find Shia's Mom himself. Mulder thinks that maybe Henry's luck hasn't changed and that this is all happening for a reason. Oh, brother. See, that may be good for Henry. But for me? Knowing there's A Reason For All This only irritates me. Because "all this"? Is stupid and dull. Henry gets pissy and asks Mulder if he meant that Shia's Mom getting kidnapped is a good thing. Mulder then blah blahs about maybe the luck ain't really bad and that they "can't see the forest through the trees." Or maybe he said "for the trees." Like I've said before, you can't trust the Closed Captioning on these DVDs. I was watching the Anasazi/The Blessing Way/Paper Clip arc today and the cc spelled Hosteen's name "Holstein." Like the cow (Ed Note: Maybe he's a Jewish Indian - Starbucket) . And it really pissed me off. Because in one recap I was calling him Holsteen and in the other I was calling him Hosteen and when I try to cross-reference by checking the episode he originated from, it's apparently neither! God, this show! I swear, U2's "With or Without You" should be the theme of our relationship. Breathe. Just breathe . Ok, moving on. I've totally lost my place here. Where were we? Oh, that's right. Mulder was talking about trees. So after he says that stuff about luck and trees, Henry rips the sleeve of his jacket and stomps off like a 2 yr old. Mulder asks Scully how Shia's doing and she says not good. If he doesn't find a donor in the next couple hours, he's gonna bite the dust. Mulder then makes a giant leap by asking Scully if it's possible that everyone involved in Henry's life became an integral part of his luck, including them. "Mulder, you're speaking as if we're all trapped in one of those contraptions that he built." Mulder then says he's gonna find Shia's Mom in the phone book. Mulder opens to a random page, waves his hand in the air and then puts his finger down on "MUHAYMIN DAYCARE - Nurturing the Children of Islam Since 1983." Mulder calls that a "dry run" and tries again. He opens to another random page and puts his finger down on the ad for "Grayson's Linen Service." There's a shocker. I'm surprised an anvil didn't drop on my head.

Home of Joe-Jimmy. Tony escorts Henry off the elevator and brings him to Cutrona. Henry tells him that he's got no hard feelings about being thrown off a roof because apparently, his bruise has healed up. He tells Cutrona that he's not going to testify and he wants him to let Shia's Mom go. Cutrona claims not to know Shia's Mom. And then he and Tony laugh like idiots. Henry tells them not to jerk him around. Cutrona feels as though he's the one who's being jerked around because Henry cheated at poker and killed a couple henchmen. Henry apologizes and asks them to let Shia's Mom go because Shia's really sick. Henry doesn't care what they do him. "You'll care. By the time I'm finished, you'll definitely care." Whatever. Cutrona is not even scary. At all.

Grayson's Linen Service: For All Your Murderous Needs. So Cutrona and Tony have got Henry down in the basement and Shia's Mom is locked up in this fence cage-thing. As Tony shoves Henry past this cart, an iron falls into a bucket of water. Tony then locks Henry's hands onto a hook hanging from the ceiling. Cutrona pushes the Up button on a Remote Control Of Evil but it ain't working. Tony pulls a switch and then Henry starts going up. Shia's Mom starts yelling for them not to hurt Henry and Cutrona tells Tony to shut her up. As Tony heads towards Shia's Mom, the iron lying in the water shorts out causing a shock to go up the cord, into the light and into the cage just as Tony reaches it. He's electrocuted. The hook Henry was hanging from swings away, causing the large hook to start sliding down the cable and hit Cutrona in the face.