SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

< PREVIOUS

Just as Eddie Mulder leaves Babe's room, the real Mulder shows up, Babe finally shows some resemblance to sanity (apart from her opinion of Eddie) by asking Mulder what he's doing there again already, and Sugar Patootie fulfills his duty as plot point by calling Mulder to ask him exactly why he (Mulder) took his (Patootie) charcoal suit this morning after raiding their bathroom. I can see the fat little hamster running in his little wheel just inside Mulder's skull as the fact hits him that Eddie has assumed his appearance, and is close by, since he's just visited Babe. And off he goes, to arrest two guys he finds in the locker room, because he cannot be sure which of them is Van Blundt. If any. He calls Scully over so she can run some blood test on the two to determine their identity (how long do they plan on keeping those poor blokes chained to the showers? Unless the red blood cells decide to cooperate by spelling out the names under the microscope, I am pretty sure that a full identification via blood will take quite a while. But then again, they might just have different blood types from Eddie, and that could already settle the thing).

After hanging up, Mulder notices a loose panel in the ceiling. Huh... Must. Investigate. Yup, it's Eddie, who does take his time to tell Mulder that he's one hell of a hunk, before talking him from above with a battle cry.

Next scene shows Mulder apologizing profusely to the two guys he's arrested earlier in a not so eloquent way. Actually, it's just "I'm sorry!" over and over again. Something tells me this might not be the Mulder we all know and swear at. Call it phile-senses. Or the fact that I know full well what is going on here. As he sees Scully approaching, he smoothly excuses himself with a „Look, am I done here?" and the proceeds to tell Scully how Van Blundt "cold-cocked" him and legged it and that, in fact, he doesn't think they're needed here anymore. Okay, Scully? Hun? THIS is when your spidey senses should start tingling! Mulder! Backing out of a case! Not. Happening. Also, he's just used the term "Small Potatoes"? The very same thing Eddie Senior said? Also, as you might not know, the title of the episode? HELLO? Am I the only one who gets all the important facts within 43 minutes to properly categorize them? Oh that's right, I am. My bad.

To her credit, Scully does look a little confused as she moves out of frame. The camera, however, zooms in on a maintenance door to the basement behind her, through it and then along a cluttered area to a little door very reminiscent of "V for Vendetta" V's prison cell. But that is just the dork in me speaking. However, we discover that there is indeed a prisoner tucked away behind the door. Why, it's no other than our very own Agent Fox Mulder! Whoever saw that one coming?! Oh, but Eddie does have a heart after all. He's left Mulder provisions in form of a sandwihich, an apple, and a can of Perk cola. I swear, the kid is such a retard. But still, the shot showing that measly meal in the foreground and Mulder in the back is highly amusing. And kinda cute.

Aw, J. Edgar Hoover building.

"Mulder" sits in Skinner's office looking rather like a pre-schooler who's been sent to see the principal, and copies Scully's rather feminine posture to blend in more efficiently. Skinner snaps their report shut and tartly asks who of the two wrote the report. „Mulder" says he did. Turns out that he's spelled "Federal Bureau of Investigation" wrong. Twice. Heh, Can''t get any wittier than that, folks. Sorry to once again disappoint on the snark-scale. Maybe this episode is just too good, and I should turn my next attentions on a timeless classic like "El Mundo Gira". "Mulder" enjoys his own private joke in the vast empty scenery that is his brain as Scully elaborates on the measures she has induced in order to round Van Blundt up. Oh, how much i want to take that stupid face and bash it onto Skinner's desktop in therepeutic doses.

Down in front of the LBO ( a title which is just too great not to be honoured with further use) "Mulder" fumbles to find the right key to open the door, and fails miserably. Again, Scully: Spidey senses!

Ah, whatever. She is too immersed in telling us for her big plans for this very Friday night. I shall now quote her word by word, because, oh boy, that Dana sure is one wild animal! Here comes the TGIF battle plan: "Well, actually, as it's Friday, I was thinking I could get some work in on that monograph I'm writing for the penology review. Diminished acetylcholine production in recidivist offenders" The WHAT you're writing for the HUH? Now, acetycholine I definitely remember from ye olde biology class, but the rest...Must switch to German in the hopes of actually getting what sad activity she's talking about. Oh gee, they've written an entirely new topic for her, with no acetylcholine in it at all. Oh, the wonders of synchronisation. Still not getting it, though. There is a brief glimmer of hope for her feeble existence however, as she says that she might bag that idea. Already I am all aquiver with visions of a night out on town with "The Girls". What? Skinner's Secretary seems nice enough. And she could always give old Couvaroubias a ring!

PAGES: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8