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FIGHT THE FUTURE

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The dynamic duo has arrived at the Van Blundht door, where the „h" in the nameplate choses that exact moment to drop off the wall. Which is simply hilarious, I'll have to give 1013 that. Let's just not let it turn into a habit.

Some old guy in a stereotypical dressing gown opens the door. It's Eddie's father. OR IS HE? Sure he is, for certainly that guy doing lawn-work in an adjoining garden, and who we see for the second time now, is the actual Eddie, right? Yeah, right...

Enter the casa del Blundt with its timeless wood paneling and trashy decor. Edward Senior present a well played facade of surprise concerning his newly discovered state of 5-times granddad, but really jumps into life as Mulder points to an advertising poster for "Eddie the Monkey Man" with some freak show. "Yeah, that's me!" he blurts out with enthusiasm, "Wanna see?". And he gropes for the belt of his dressing gown, forcibly reminding me of a great-uncle of mine, who apparently has a rather nasty rash on one of his buttocks at the moment. Guess how I know. Scully, with her ever present mind and G-Woman reflexes stops him with a desperate "NO!... thank you.". So instead Eddie's "Dad" says that his son "unwisely" had his own tail removed, and how he basically thinks that the tail was the only thing that made Eddie into something special. Wow, what a great Dad! No wonder Eddie has that great confidence in his own personality.

Also, Eddie's "Dad" calls Mulder by his name. Which he has not been told until now. Eddie's Dad was right after all, he sure is no Einstein. So yeah, it was Eddie, and he dashes off once again, leaving only his red dressing gown behind on the street, and Mulder charmingly decides to drape it over Scully's shoulder as they meet up outside. Me, I would've used that opportunity to strangle him with the smelly garment.

Cut to the house of Babboo-bimbo, where her husband, who is not Christian Bale, dashes in through the front door. Wearing the same green sweater we've seen earlier under a red dressing gown. Yes, it's Eddie, as we see when he locks himself in the bathroom. Babboo comes by to stand outside the door and ask if he's okay, and Eddie manages to shake her off. Not, however, before she can call him "Sugar Patootie". Babboo and Sugar Patootie? Can somebody please put them down? For the sake of mankind? How does one end up in a marriage where people call each other such names and MEAN THEM? God, maybe being single isn't so bad after all.

Back at the Van Blundt's, Scully and Mulder search the place, (still revoltingly ugly enough to make any interior designer drop dead on the spot) and find one BIG supply of beef jerky in the attic. Well, actually, it's not beef jerky, it's Eddie senior, As evident by the tail visible on the mummy to make Priest Imhotep proud.

Meanwhile, Eddie is still stuck in Babboo's bathroom as the real Sugar patootie comes home. In an act of brilliance worthy of season 9 Scully, they leave the baby alone in its crib in the living area to go and investigate the stranger together. For Babboo and Sugar Patootie never go anywhere on their own if they can help it, I am sure, Eddie has to think on his feet, which is obviously quite the task for him, and he decides to go with the obvious and.. turn into Mulder. Duchovny looks kinda weird in green, but nevertheless tells the couple from hell that "It's all clear!"

Time for some slicing and dicing. Or, more like... sawing and grinding.. ew. In a good way.

As Scully digs into the dry mummy with an electric saw, Mulder enters and, being a bit better at the whole concept of "thinking on his feet" quickly covers his coffee cup with his hand to prevent the dust of ancient death™ that's currently whirling up from the mummy from spoiling his caffeine-induced fun. Way to go Mulder, just what I'd do! Though we don't know what killed Eddie Senior yet, we DO know that he is basically covered in an extra layer of muscle right underneath his epidermis. "And, thankfully, he is preserved and intact." Scully states. Just as Mulder manages to snap of the poor bloke's tail. In the time-honoured tradition of science students who've just broken an expensive skeleton, he keeps asking questions about the medical state of the man to draw away Scully's attention, while frantically trying to force the tail back on by sheer willpower before getting the hell out of there. This entire scene is classic slapstick, and well delivered.

Mulder once again drops by with Babe Skywalker. Only.. something is off with his posture. And facial expression. Which is all very good, because the ensuing dialogue kinda reveals that this is not Mulder after all, but still Eddie in his witty disguise. Though I do wonder where he got that suit from....And we witness how poor little Eddie has to listen to the girl he.. I won't say love.. kinda likes? rant about how much of a loser he is. Which he is. Also, he's a rapist. Good job by Duchovny on the increased doofus-level. And yeah, it really pained me to say this.