SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Scully won’t relent. “We spent a weekend up at Pine Barrens. You taught me how to fish through the ice.” You mean ‘ice fishing,’ Scully? Maybe it’s that I grew up on a lake in the far north where we do a lot of ice fishing, but that part has always bugged me. Anyway. “It was your parent’s cabin, Jack, try to remember. We drove up in a snowstorm.” Whack flashes for a split second on a snowy windshield, winding up a snow-covered mountain road.

“Don’t think I didn’t see what you did,” Whack says, icy. “I was like a little slip of paper up there on that hospital ceiling.” He gets in Scully’s face. “I saw everything.” Scully asks what he saw. “You left me to DIE on that hospital table while you saved your friend!” Scully “you ARE my friend!”’s him. “He was gone already,” Whack says meanly, “I watched him go. I just watched him slip away down that long black tunnel.” He puts a gun in Scully’s face, but she calls him by his name and tells him that he won’t shoot her. Lula saunters in then and tells him to take it easy, they can’t kill her yet. She’s their ticket.

Whack gets up and swipes the soda that Lula was drinking from her, drains it, asks her if there’s anymore. Lula tells him that he just drank the last of it. A light bulb flashes over Scully’s head and she asks him how much soda he’s had. She goes on to tell him that Jack Willis is diabetic which means that Whack is diabetic and that too much sugar in the system could lead to hypoglycemia. “Hey,” Lula says, “maybe that’s why your stomach’s bothering you so bad…” Scully cuts in that abdominal pain is the first sign of an impending diabetic coma and that he needs insulin. It seems to only piss Whack off (hee), but my dad has Type 1 diabetes and that’s some scary shit, yo. Like when you find him passed out in the hallway and you have to pour orange juice down his throat and hope he doesn’t choke and that you’re still going to have a dad in ten minutes… But enough about my horrors, let’s get back to Scully’s. She’s had lots more of them than me. Still cuffed to the radiator, she huffs out tears of frustration and helplessness. I guess I can relate to that, too.

J. Edgar Hoover Building: Mulder is listening to Willis’s taped notes on Dupree and Lula. Cut to: The Find Scully Task Force. Mulder is in front of a rough, fairly blank map of Baltimore, highlighting the cross streets where a drug store was just robbed and then highlighting the area around it where he thinks Scully might be. Agent Bufe asks if he’s missing something. Mulder refrains from making a bald joke (and so do I) and tells them that insulin and syringes were just stolen from said drug store and that Jack Willis is diabetic. Agent Bufe, surprisingly, and rather awesomely takes this as good intel and asks some other agents to get a Census report to find out how many households they might be dealing with. When we pan to the map, you can see an airport marker and just about nothing else.

Back at Warren and Lula’s, Scully has been freed and dumps out the insulin and syringes on a table—Whack is laid out next to her on the couch, clearly out of it, mumbling about his legs going numb. Scully tells him to hold on, when out of nowhere, Lula swipes at the insulin in Scully’s hand and pulls a gun on the both of them. Scully tells her that without the medicine, he’ll die. Lula doesn’t seem to care. (Then why the eff did she go and steal it in the first place?) Lula turns the gun on Whack. “You still haven’t figured it out, have you?” She asks him. “Figured what out?” I just want to point out right now that Lula is wearing a beret. It really has nothing to do with the scene or the recap or anything, but how often do you see people wearing berets? Lula: “It wasn’t my brother who set you up.” “You?” Whack asks sadly. “Yeah,” she says, “me. How do think I got away so clean, huh? The minute you set foot in that bank, I was outta there. I got the money and I got rid of you. At least I thought I did.” Man, she is a stone cold bitch. A stone cold bitch in a beret, which I think makes her even bitchier. She stomps on the insulin, breaking the vial and dooming Whack to death. Okay, I take it back, that made her bitchier.

Find Scully Task Force: The phone rings. Once they’ve got it all set taping, Mulder picks it up.“ Listen carefully,” Lula says. Mulder wants to know where Willis is. Lula replies that he’s laying around there somewhere. Mulder wants to talk to Scully. Lula won’t let her talk. Mulder tells her that they won’t deal unless they know Scully’s alive. Lula can only assure him that she is. “Listen to me,” Mulder says, turning away from the other agents, his voice pinched and angry, “you lay one hand on Scully and so help me God…” I love that. Duchovny plays it perfectly. Mulder turns away from the other agents like he doesn’t want them to hear what he’s about to say—he probably knows that threatening a hostage-taker during a negotiation is a HUGE no-no, but he doesn’t give a damn and does it anyway. I think that’s what made this show so great. Just a few episodes into Season 1 and you could tell that Mulder and Scully really, really loved each other. Not in a romantic way yet, I don’t think, but in a …family way. Like, in the way that if you saw someone picking on a friend of yours, you’d get upset but may not do anything that would get you in trouble—on the other hand, if you saw someone picking on your little sister, you’d be hard pressed not to march over there and rip their fucking throat out. They may not always get along, but they’re family, dammit. Lula: “If I were you, I’d stop talking and start passing around the collection plate. Because if you ever want to see Scully again, it’s going to cost you a million dollars.” She stresses the amount kind of like Dr. Evil, but in a non-ironic way. Aw, early 90’s and your high-value dollar, you’re so cute. “Have it by this time tomorrow,” Lula says, peaking out the curtains as we hear planes zooming overhead, “I’ll tell you when and where.”