SEASON 1

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SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

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SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Casa de Doll de Polly. And de Polly, and de Mommy. Shut up, Polly's napping while listening to the Hokey Pokey and clutching that evil doll of hers. Mommy walks in the room and the record stops. She walks slowly over to the bed, probably to grab that evil thing and burn it, but it sees her first, opening its eyes and declaring, once more, that it's time to have fun. Mommy backs away, gasping for breath. Aw, hell to the no. There's no way I'd be going down by some possessed toy. The Hokey Pokey record starts over again on its own and Mommy runs downstairs to the kitchen, crying. She looks up in the window to see Officer Buddy, all bloody (Hey! A rhyme!) and begging for help. "No!" she shouts, panicked.

Meanwhile, Bonsaint and Scully are out to lunch. The waitress brings a lobster to the table that's the size of Gillian Anderson's body from the torso up. "Oh my god!" she says, staring at it. "That looks like something out of Jules Verne. We're supposed to eat that?" Hee. Scully looks truly freaked out by this giant lobster and keeps her hands folded under the table, looking horrified while Bonsaint cracks off the tail and starts digging in. She doesn't eat, but instead asks if there was anything weird about Mommy's husband's boating accident / death. Bonsaint said it was never quite explained how he managed to get a grappling hook clear through his skull, and cracks off another piece of lobster. Scully wonders if Mommy was questioned about this, but Bonsaint says that she wasn't because no one saw how she could be involved. He also tells her that the boat it happened on was just outside the restaurant they were in. Scully looks out the window and notices a man on the boat, who happens to be the man she ran into at the supermarket that first day.

At Mommy's, Polly is in her bedroom changing records and still holding onto the homicidal doll. "I want popcorn, Mommy!" she yells. Mommy says she'll make it for her while Polly starts to listen to the Hokey Pokey. Again. Why was she changing the record since that's the only one she listens to? Weird. Anyway, in the hallway, Mommy turns around to bump into Buddy, who wants to know why she's back in town. The ranger told him that Mommy tried to kill him by running him over, and now Officer Buddy thinks she must have come back to kill Jane the Lover of Scottish Daycare Names, as well. Mommy insists that she didn't kill anyone, that it isn't her, but Buddy said they'd see about that when Mommy comes into the station with her "little brat", staring at Polly. Dude, bad move. Seriously. And what happened to all the ice cream sundae-buyin' and love declarin'? Polly holds the doll in her arm and Buddy sees its eyes open as it exclaims, "I want to play!" I then fall into the deepest sleep I've had all year, induced by sheer boredom.

Out on the boat where Polly's father died, Scully is speaking with the man from the grocery store. She wants to know what happened, but he tells her that there are plenty of different stories for that. Scully wants to know HIS story though, since he was on board that night, but he tells her that he already told his story to the chief. I yawn and roll over to my side, pulling the blanket over my head, which means I miss the dude telling Scully that everyone blames Mommy for Daddy's death. Apparently daddy really loved his daughter, and when they went out fishing on the eve of her birthday, they pulled up a nasty mildewed doll from the water and Daddy decided it'd be a good idea to give the doll to Polly rather than say, go to Wal-Mart and buy a new, non-evil one for $10. Three days after Daddy pulled the doll up, he was dead. "And you know what killed him?" Scully asks. The guy explains that they eyes play tricks on you in the dark, and then we flash back to the night of Daddy's death, where the evil disembodied voice says the fateful "Let's have fun" line. "What the hell was that?" Daddy says, looking around. StorytellingGuy is asleep inside and asks what was happening, before hearing the voice himself. Daddy goes outside with a net, and StorytellingGuy follows, finding Daddy dead. "Like I said, the eyes play tricks," he tells Scully after all that. I bang my head against my bedroom wall a few times hoping to back out. "But you saw something, in the grocery store," Scully insists. "That little girl and her dolly." Uh, her "dolly"? Okay seriously, when is this episode over? "The moment I saw them," says the StorytellingGuy.