SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Bonsaint and Scully have gone to Jane's house-- Jane being the lady who stopped and gave the eye to Mommy and Polly in the parking lot of the grocery store on their way in. Jane wants to know who Bonsaint has brought with him, so Scully introduces herself, saying she's just there on vacation and-- "So?" Jane cuts her off. She wants to know if they've talked to Mommy. "That whore's a witch as sure as I stand here," she spits. "She's descended from the Hawthornes in Salem and the Englishes too. She comes from a cursed lineage and now she's passing it on to the wealth." Aw, I miss William. Y'know, since we're speaking about cursed lineage and all. Well, allegedly cursed lineage. Maybe. Whatever. Jane hopes the little girl can be saved from Mommy, cos she's certainly tried before. This lady's kinda nutso, cos she starts talking about how to drive demons out of people and giving witches what they deserve and all that jazz. Then she closes the door on their faces and Scully speaks another awkwardly written line: "New England hospitality. I've heard about it my whole life; I finally got a chance to experience it for myself." Doesn't it all seem a little...wordy? Strange? I dunno. Jane watches them walk back to the patrol car.

"Well, you see what I'm up against, public sentiment and all," Bonsaint tells her. Scully wonders if there's any truth to Mommy's lineage, and suggests Bonsaint brings her in for questioning under the pretense that maybe she knows something. "About what?", the yokel asks confusedly. Um, seriously? Have I been hitting the bong too hard or what? How can you not know what she's referring to when you've been working on this case for the good majority of my poor Scully's vacation time? "About what I'm sure is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this," she tells him. Aw, vintage Scully! I wanna hug her and tell her that whatever starts happening three years from now, I still love her. "Uh, yuh" Bonsaint bleats. God save us all if this guy is running a town's law enforcement precinct and is permitted to own a firearm. Scully wishes she can help him out but uh, she's just, y'know, on vacation and stuff.

The crafty little Time/Date Stamp lets us know that we're at the Schoodic Lake Ranger Station at 11:06p.m. A quick Google search lets me know that Lake Schoodic has very good water quality for the production of salmonids, as well as playing host to the annual Schoodic Lake Ice Fishing Derby! Sweet. A ranger walks out when a car containing Polly and Mommy pulls up, and he asks her where they're headed. Mommy explains that they've been invited to a place by the lake, and the ranger wants to know if they've got gear, food and water, etc. He tells them that he just wants to make sure since winters are so rough up there and the power is iffy. Polly wants to go home, by the way, but Mommy tries to console her by telling her that they're going to go camping. Polly doesn't give a rip about that, though. She wants her bed and her records, and Doll de Polly must want the same thing because it opens its eyes and requests some more fun, sending Mommy into a panic. The ranger says he'll just take her license number, but when Mommy looks to the rear window, she sees Jane gasping for help. Mommy flips her shit and throws a u-turn, speeding back the way she came and leaving the ranger confused as hell.

At Jane's house, the Hokey Pokey is playing. A little late for a dance party, isn't it? Jane comes out of her room and turns on the hall light, calling "Hello?" down the hallway. Bad idea, lady. The lights aren't working and the record player is covered in plastic. Jane lifts the needle and then the demon voice speaks. "I want to play!" it exclaims, and when Jane turns around not seeing anything, the record begins to skip. "That's what it's all about, that's what it's all about," it sings. Jane's not afraid of it, whatever "it" is, and she picks up a broken half of a record to show it so. Of course it backfires when she too fights against herself and slices her own throat with it. So that's what it's all about? After Jane has sliced herself, the record miraculously stops skipping and goes on. I swing my shoulders back and forth and shake my arm in the air, pointer finger wagging. Oh, shut up. The doll's not the only person who gets to have fun around here. And...scene.