SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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So, Morris is calling her bluff, telling her that he’s not even going to try and switch things back and no one will believe her, anyway, so she better just get used to him. Yea, no. She’s not buyin’ that, no how. She points the gun again and offers to shoot him instead. He then insists, in this totally over-the-top and unbelievable way, that he doesn’t know how to change things back. She switches tactics, asking him about Mulder’s source inside Area 51 and he, again, swears he has no idea. Just then, the phone rings. They let the machine get it (understandably) and we can hear this totally dorky message insisting that the caller “leave a message” “because I’m very busy entertaining a very special guest.” Then we hear a voice which sounds vaguely familiar but we’re not really memorizing the guest stars’ voices in this episode so it could be anyone’s (even though it’s totally Wegman’s) and he’s trying Mulder one last time and asks, “Are you or are you not interested in the classified information I have to give you?” Scully motions for Morris to pick up the phone and he does, holding it so both of them can hear. Wegman tells them to “listen very carefully”, and we fade into the next scene.

Palazzo de Fletcher. Mulder’s still hangin’ out in front of the window watching the not-so-secret surveillers in the car across the street. Joanne approaches him with his luggage, commenting on how he couldn’t wait to leave before and now she can’t get him to. He then has a lightbulb-in-a-thought-bubble idea and suggests that they go “someplace with a lot of people”. She’s like, “In Rachel, Navada?” (and, yay, she pronounces Nevada right, too!). He then gets all faux-affectionate and strokes her face, all sweet. “Whaddya say?”

So, my co-worker was telling me about how she and her boyfriend were driving up from Las Vegas and took this famed Extraterrestrial Highway past Area 51. They even stopped at a small bar called, I kid you not, “Little A’Le”Inn”. Which is the name of the bar in this episode. Even though she swears, up and down, that she’s never even seen the X-Files. So, yea. This place really exists. Which I find kind of cool. Anyway, the sign we see is lit and big and has a little grey – I’m guessing Reticulan – peeking over the edge. A car pulls into the lot and we realize that it’s Scully’s. She and Morris are inside it, and they go over the plan. Morris is supposed to go inside and hook up with their source, who’s wearing a Buffalo Bills cap, and “if I try and slip out the back door, da da da, dee, dee, dee…” and then asks if they can start over, with the handcuffs and everything. She cocks her gun. Nice. He jumps out and practically sprints toward the bar.

The inside of the Little A’Le’Inn reminds me a lot of that bar that Mulder & Scully went into in Deep Throat. Lots of kitschy alien memorabilia. It looks like a really fun place to hang out, though, although Morris is clearly not happy to be there. As he looks around, the camera refocuses to the space behind him and we see, in the behind-the-bar mirror’s reflection, “Mulder” walking around. Over in the corner, our Mulder is sharing cocktails with Joanne, who thinks he’s really there waiting for someone else and, if he is, he should tell her now so she can divorce him and take the house. He laughs and orders up another glass of wine. Morris, meanwhile, finds Mr. Buffallo Bills Cap and – surprise! – it’s Wegman. Aw, man, this is confusing to write about. Okay, so Mulder sees some other Men in Black enter the bar and fakes like he’s going to the bathroom while Morris converses with Wegman about how he sabotaged the craft to show Mulder that they really existed. Mulder sneaks outside and opens a nearby car door. That just happens to be Scully’s. What a coink-i-dink! He’s happy to see her (no, not in that “banana in your pants” kinda way, you pre-vert) and she correctly guesses that it’s Mulder. Yay! She can see past the Michael McKean suit into the real guy! He’s all, whatcha doin’? She’s all, “tryin’a figure out a way to help you,” while Morris asks Wegman if he’s disgruntled. See? It’s all cutting back and forth. Wegman points out that the real flight data recorder is by “Mulder’s” feet as Joanne heads outside looking for her husband. She finds “him”, of course, in the car with Scully. And guess what? She’s pissed! I bet you’re surprised! She stalks back inside and sits down as Morris, across the bar, picks up the flight data recorder and heads out. On his way, he notices his wife sitting there, alone, and gets this forlorn look on his face. What, ho? The man’s got sympathy face! How odd! Then he notices No Name and other MIBs looking for “Morry” and saunters into the bathroom as Joanne spots Mulder coming back inside. She walks up to him and splashes her wine on his face. Which, given her present depressive state, is kinda tame. He’d have his balls in a vice if he were my cheatin’ husband. Even though he’s not really cheating, but whatever. I’m not even married. NoName plays peacemaker as Mulder heads into the bathroom to clean up. He looks into the mirror and sees his own reflection. Like, for realz! Morris is standing right behind him!

New paragraph. Whew. Okay, so Mulder shoves Morris up against the wall and asks him if he wants the ass-kicking that are the ever-present phenomena in Mulder’s own life. And he’s about to offer him up one, himself. Morris shows Mulder the flight data recorder and tells him that they could be killed if they’re seen together. Mulder orders Morris to take it to Scully, and Morris snarks about Mulder’s “waxy buildup” (although, since he’s in your body, wouldn’t you be the one with the waxy buildup, technically?) and they argue about who’s trusted the least by the MIBs outside. Wegman, meanwhile, spots his insubordinate… subordinates and heads in the opposite direction fast. Into… the bathroom. Where he finds Morris and Mulder hiding in the bathroom stall. What the…?

Scully comes into the bar and sees NoName talking to Joanne as Wegman escorts the MIBs outside. He points to Mulder who’s carrying what looks like the FDR (flight data recorder, not the former President) but is really a bag of beer. Meanwhile, Morris and Scully make off with the real one. Sneaky!

Apparently, the Lone Gunmen have an alternate headquarters in Nevada, because it seems like Morris and Scully are at their pad mere moments later. Oh, and yay! It’s the Lone Gunmen! They’re eating dinner (I think it’s so cute, by the way, that they totally live together, as well as being best friends and co-writers of that awesome conspiracy rag). Huevos Rancheros. And practicing their Spanish. Scully rings the doorbell with Mulder – I mean, Morris – in tow. They don’t know that, though. As Morris marvels at the inside of their lair, Scully hands off the FDR and tells them she needs everything on there as soon as possible. Byers takes it apart, impressed that they got it at Area 51. While they’re telling her the latest in Area 51 conspiracy theories, Morris is hanging out reading one of their old papers and chuckling. They’re all, “What’s up with the Muld-Man?” and she has to go through this whole spiel about how he’s not really Mulder and yadda yadda yadda we’ve heard this like three times in the last hour and a half. Halfway through the explanation, she hands it off to Morris, who insists he “assumed Mulder’s identity through a warp in the space/time continuum.” They all laugh, but then, seeing Scully’s “we are not amused” reaction, are like, “Holy Shit!”