SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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We get a shot of the outside of the prison and the camera pulls down to reveal the man who escaped from Mulder and Scully, who morphs into the Schwarzenalien. Holy snapping arseholes – where is this going? He’s even brought his own icepick to the party! He gets let in to the prison, only to discover that D. Roy I is no longer in residence. Dun DUNNN!!!

Hospital, in Providence, Rhode Island. We’re at Teena Mulder’s bedside, and Mulder is getting some bad news from her doctor about substantial blood loss during the stroke, which has put pressure on her brain. Mulder asks if she will regain consciousness, but the doctor is doubtful. Mulder’s been crying and his face looks all swollen and awful. I knew I needed to bring Kleenex for this episode. He closes the door, sits down next to his mother, picks up her hand and puts it on his face and starts to cry again.

Mulder pulls himself together and leans in the corridor outside her hospital room, only to hear the flick of a cigarette lighter. He turns to see Old Smokey in the corridor. Continuing his fine record of hospital misbehaviour, he bails Smokey up and sticks his gun in his face. Smokey cracks a smart remark (see, told you he was Mulder’s real dad) so Mulder pulls the cigarette out of Smokey’s mouth and says: “I should shoot you here, but they’d probably save you.” Smokey tells him to do it. Mulder gets even more upset and says: “Or maybe put a bullet through your brain so you’ll be bedridden for the rest of your life like my mother!” Smokey then asks how Teena is and Mulder says: “What do you care?” CSM then says: “I’ve known your mother since before you were born, Fox.” William B. Davis does a great job of putting an insinuating little spin on that line. Mulder is unimpressed by Smokey’s squirming around and doesn’t believe him when he says that he wasn’t looking for anything, but that Teena was. He’s lying of course. He admitted in the scene with Teena that he was the one who had asked to meet her. Mulder calls him a liar, but then Smokey drops the Samantha clue to distract him. A nurse then breaks up this heartfelt family reunion, and Mulder moves back, concealing his gun from her. The nurse knows that something’s going on, but eventually leaves. Mulder continues interrogating CSM, but he tells Mulder that the man who had the information about Samantha has disappeared. Yeah, right. Mulder tells Smokey he has what he wants, but Smokey bluffs him by saying he doesn’t want anything, except to see how Teena’s doing. Smokey then heads on down to the nurse’s station to make inquiries.

And we’re back at the J. Edgar Hoover building. It’s 11.21pm again, and Scully’s got her spectacles on and has found multiple records for Jeremiah Smith through the Social Security Administration. She’s sitting in a darkened office in front of a computer screen and you’d think someone with a medical degree would know how bad that is for your eyes. I’m just sayin’. Holy cow! All of these Jeremiah Smiths are identical! Scully tries to phone Mulder, but he’s sitting somewhere out of mobile phone range, and it looks like he’s eating sunflower seeds. Drink. It looks like some sort of car park. All of a sudden, X appears from the shadows and asks: “Do you have it?” Mulder says: “Yes.” X then demands that Mulder give it to him, but Mulder refuses. X says that it’s of no value to Mulder, but Mulder is not swayed by this argument. After all, it was in Mulder’s house (I’m assuming Bill would have left it to him considering Teena’s declaration she would never return to it), so it’s Mulder’s to keep if he wants. What right does X have to it? I’ll see you in court, homey. Mulder tries to get X to admit that what he’s found is a weapon to use against the Mighty Morphin’ Power Aliens, but X is determined to remain mysterious although he does admit that a gunshot won’t do. He menaces Mulder, telling him that he will be killed for the icepick. I don’t understand why it’s such a singular weapon – it doesn’t look that hard to reverse-engineer. Mulder tries to get X to admit that the date for colonisation is set, but X is having none of that and demands the weapon again. Mulder says no, and I don’t blame him. X is a complete arsehole. As Mulder turns to walk away, X punches him in the back of the head (ouch!). They fight, and Mulder does pretty well against a trained assassin for a guy who hasn’t slept for two days, but eventually X starts to win, so Mulder pulls his gun, prompting X to do the same. It’s a stand-off. Mulder tells X that if he shoots him, he’ll never find it and X responds that he ought to shoot him anyway. I’m guessing Mulder got a couple of good hits in. X tells Mulder he’s a dead man. Like that’s ever stopped Mulder. For Gawd’s sake, he even came back after being buried for three months in Season 8. But of course X is not privy to this information, although I am.