SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Distinguished Roy I is getting a visitor in da big house. It’s the CSM and I don’t think it’s a social call. At least he has the decency to remove DRI’s gag, then he makes himself comfortable, pulling up a chair and sitting on it. He begins by making all sorts of veiled threats about how he has to clean up the mess etc etc and DRI responds by saying he’s not ashamed of what he has done. CSM remarks that he’s not allowed the luxury of human weakness and penitence, by which I think he means that Distinguished Roy and his Doppelgangers (my next rock band) are trying to make up for their complicity in the huge Government/Alien conspiracy whatchamacallit. DRI says he no longer believes in the greater purpose and CSM goes on threatening someone who obviously does not give a shit and doesn’t mind letting him know it. He tells CSM he has no right and no means to mete out justice. CSM is pretty pissed that DRI has exposed the conspiracy by his laying-on of hands actions, and here we begin to get some explanation of CSM’s motivations. He says: “Who are you to give them hope?” to which DRI asks what CSM gives them. He replies: “We give them happiness. And they give us authority.” He goes on to reveal his contempt for the rest of humankind, calling them weak, corrupt, worthless and restless. I can’t figure out if he’s a sociopath, or if he’s right. They then begin a metaphysical argument about science vs religion that I can’t be arsed recreating. Now DRI freaks out CSM by turning into Deep Throat, so in order for this to be effective, it’s a dead cert that CSM was behind his death in The Erlenmeyer Flask. They threaten each other some more and CSM grows tired of this back and forth and leaves.

Back to the FBI building and Mulder is intimidating Skinner’s secretary and barging into the AD’s office, demanding CSM’s name, rank and serial number. Ooh, Scully was already there- what did Skinner want her for? Paperwork? Mulder busts out the incriminating photographs and blames Old Smokey for his mother’s stroke. Mulder is getting pretty demanding and all up in Skinner’s grill. Skinner admits that he can no longer contact CSM and Mulder finally calms down enough to tell them that CSM’s trying to kill the man from the restaurant shooting. Scully then gives him the startling news that Distinguished Roy came in yesterday and turned himself in. Oh, no he didn’t, Scully - that was a Doppelganger.

Mulder and Scully go to the Social Security Administration looking for Distinguished Roy. Hee, she is so short, she barely comes up to Mulder’s shoulder. Mulder’s looking a little rough – he could use a shave. They find a version of Distinguished Roy and Mulder identifies himself as an FBI agent. He asks Distinguished Roy to come with him, but DR doesn’t see the need and turns to Scully and says accusingly, “I thought they said you’d call if there was anything.” Scully looks a little guilty, but Mulder pushes right ahead with his agenda and leans down to grab D Roy, saying he’s sure he wouldn’t want to cause a scene at work. Go ahead Mulder, those co-workers of Distinguished Roy wouldn’t stop working if a UFO landed in the staff room. D. Roy capitulates and accompanies Moose and Squirrel out of the building, but gives them the slip just as they get off the elevator. They are bemused and bewildered, but there is a lingering shot of a bearded man who happens to be wearing Distinguished Roy’s clothes. Oh, that D. Roy! He’s so tricky!

Back we trot to D. Roy I’s prison. D. Roy accuses CSM of being afraid of him, but CSM denies it. As you would. D. Roy I threatens CSM some more, insinuating that he has more power than CSM knew about. However, CSM isn’t going to take this lying down. CSM accuses D. Roy I of thinking he’s God, but he’s really only a drone, a cataloguer, chattel. He delivers that line with some real venom. D. Roy counters by saying, “What you’re afraid of is they’ll believe I’m God.” Then they start in again on the metaphysical argument blah, blah, blah. D. Roy I then freaks CSM out again by appearing as Bill Mulder. Man, I even hate this fake version of him. I was glad when it turned out he wasn’t Mulder’s real father. I wasn’t that surprised when it turned out to be CSM – after all, Mulder and CSM share many character traits, but like a tarot card, there are light and dark in both. They are both single-minded and obsessive, both have a very black sense of humour and they’re both tall, but Mulder uses his gifts for apparently good reasons, while CSM uses his for eeevvvillll. Even the tall thing. CSM is so rattled he lights another cigarette and D. Roy I as Bill Mulder keeps on turning the knife, then he turns back into Roy Thinnes and tells CSM he is dying of lung cancer. Not a big shock there, considering that he smokes like a chimney, but CSM denies it, saying that D. Roy I just wants to save his own life, by which I’m guessing that CSM thinks that D. Roy I wants to exchange his healing powers for escape.