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FIGHT THE FUTURE

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Later, after the case is dismissed, Modell approaches Mulder and his posse (that would be Scully and Burst, since the trio are so tight nowadays) and demands his five dollars. Mulder moves to retrieve his cash as Modell smiles smugly at Burst, who gives him one hell of an evil eye back. Scully's just, sorta, "whatever" as Mulder opens his wallet. "Hey, your shoe's untied," Mulder teases and Modell looks down. "Made ya look," Mulder continues, and boy does he look hot in this scene, nay, this episode, "How do you do it?" Mulder pulls out the $5 (American, in case you were curious) and fakes like he's gonna give it to Modell, but then pulls it back. Modell smiles and walks away. Doesn't he know Mulder's too cheap to get rid of $5 that easily? You didn't even bring him a pizza. But don't sweat it, Pusher. You may be out $5, but at least you've got your freedom. For now. As Modell continues out of the building, Burst chases after him for about .5 seconds, shouting, "I know your name now! I know where you live!" but Mulder just shakes his head like, "it's no use."

Even later, as Mulder works out his frustrations with Scully in the bedroom - I mean, at the shooting range – Scully begins to tell him more about their suspect. But Mulder interjects, in that frustratingly charming way, and tells her what she's about to tell him, "Let me guess. He was an average student, he attended an average community college, he did an average stint in the military." She's mildly impressed, although probably used to him doing this, and retorts, "Which branch of service?" To which Mr. Know-it-all replies, "Not his first choice. He wanted to be a Navy Seal and then he wanted to be an Army Special Forces Green Beret. Promptly washed out of both, though not for lack of intelligence. He ended up being a supply clerk at Fort Bragg. Served two years, general discharge." By now, hopefully she suspects that he already did his own research on Pusher, which makes him a TOTAL ASS for not sharing it with her before. Then she finally surprises him, telling Mulder that Pusher tried to get into the FBI but, surprise! didn't pass the psych screening. He told a bunch of lame lies, like he was really a ninja. Oh, yeah, I believe that. In the words of Wayne and Garth: Not. Mulder argues that ninjas can cloud the minds of their opponents, just like Pusher did when he put the whammy on the judge in that courtroom. Scully replies, in one of the single greatest lines ever in the history of this series, "Please explain to me the scientific nature of The Whammy." I'm just going to give you a second to let the brilliance of that line sink in. Done? Okay, so basically, the rest of the conversation is about figuring out that this Whammy phenomenon is recent, because if he could always do it, why isn't he in the FBI? Hm. Good question. So, his pushing is recent, say, in the past two years? Which is, coincidentally, the time span of the murders. And how does he do it? I'll let Mulder explain that one: "I don't know, maybe, maybe it's some mental aspect of some eastern martial art. You know, the temporary suppressio n of the brain's chemistry, produced by a specific timbre or cadence in Modell's voice. His voice seems to be the key." Yeah.

So, meanwhile, Pusher is walking right through the doors of the FBI but isn't really because I've been on the FBI tour and that isn't the FBI. Though it's a pretty good attempt. Anyway, he has a slip of paper sticking out of his pocket that reads PASS, and walks right past Dave Grohl and the guards and right through the metal detectors. Glad to know the FBI security is this top notch. No wonder they're continually getting their asses handed to them. One thing I do like about the guy who plays Modell is that he's got the coolest voice. Very whammy-able. Not quite sandpaper over honey, but pretty good, nonetheless. Modell is heading towards the Computer Records department (How archaic is the FBI that, in 1995, they had to differentiate between paper and computer records?) and strides confidently down the more familiar hallways of the X-Files universe. He enters the records office to find Holly, who apparently works in both the Research and Personnel departments. Maybe they're short-staffed today. Pusher immediately puts the Whammy on her, asking for her help in finding some stuff out as he closes all the blinds in the office. He leans in behind her as she types her way into the personnel files, even though he mouse would be a far more likely tool to use. A window pops up on the screen, which reads, "Warning. The contents of personnel files are the sole property of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. No access without the express authorization of the director." Why would they have this kind of warning on a system that, theoretically, can only be accessed from inside the FBI? I think those people pretty much already know that those files are confidential. Duh. But I guess maybe your mother could stop by the office for a visit, sneak into the personnel department, and type her way into the files because she has a hankerin' to find out if that nice-looking young man in the basement is married. But believe me, Mom, those computers don't know jack, because they list him as single even though Duchovny, to the fru strations of several million people, gave Mulder an old wedding ring in a future episode. As a joke. Ha ha ha... NO. NOT FUNNY. Anyway, Holly, who works for the FBI, bypasses the warning and hands the reins over to Pusher, who pulls up a specific file. He asks Holly for a printout and a cup of coffee, which is only mildly chauvinistic of him, but then notices her bruise from the mugging. He rubs it lightly, telling her that he wishes he could avenge her. He'd make him pay. Which is kinda sweet of Pusher to say, actually. Aside from the fact that he's a lunatic serial killer.

Holly just sort of stares blankly at Pusher for a moment as Skinner walks by the office and notices the drawn blinds. Ah, Skinner. I heart you so. You look so much like my big brother, it's creepy, so I find it personally revolting when people ask me if I think you're hot. Nonetheless, you're awesome. He enters the office to see Pusher and Holly standing over a printout, and he gets instantly defensive. "May I help you?" he asks Pusher. He notices that Pusher was accessing confidential files and puts him in a headlock, slamming him against a filing cabinet. Pusher makes some refere nce to Mel Cooley, who I think is a bald guy from TV or something (yet another reference that I'm too young for), as Skinner warns him to shut up. [Ed. note: Yup. Mel Cooley was the bald, bespectacled, persnickety boss on the Dick Van Dyke Show. Well. I'll just walk myself on back to the Retirement Castle. –Lurkey] Pusher tells Holly that Skinner's the one who mugged her while Skinner's just trying to get her to call security. Holly, still officially Whammied, pulls out a can of mace and squirts Skinner in the eye. Pusher escapes as Holly starts kicking Skinner in the gut with remarkable strength for such a small girl.

Moments later, Holly's all doe eyes and apologies as she explains how she doesn't know what came over her. Scully's in Skinner's office now, too, along with several members of security. Skinner, clearly embarrassed that he was just beaten up by a girl, shoos the other agents out of the office until it's just the three of them. He closes the door and Scully launches into her interview spiel with the same gusto that she normally uses for orphaned demon children or baseball-loving, liver-needing, pre- Indy 4 Shia LeBouf types. Holly explains that she was watching herself beat Skinner up without controlling her own body, kind of like what those worms in Ice did, but this isn't mentioned because continuity is in no way t his show's strong suit. Mulder quietly enters the room, mumbling to himself, "Do we have to pretend to care about her again?" all whiny before realizing that she's now involved in the Pusher case. His face brightens. Mulder asks to speak with The Skinman outside and Scully tags along. Mulder tells them about Pusher coming right through security in the same disbelieving tone I used in my head earlier when describing that scene. Skinner remarks, "and you're saying this mysterious phenomenon is the same reason I have a size seven heel mark on my face?" Heh. Yup. Scully agrees with Mulder ( what?!), but (whew) isn't sure how Pusher does it.