SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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Oh, tarnation, the Skinman is PISSED, giving Scully his standard what-the-fuck-has-Mulder-done-NOW speech # 473-B in his office. "And where were you while this was happening?" he demands. Scully claims that she'd left Mulder for the day and urged him to get some sleep. In the outer office, Kimberly mutters "goddamn!" and crosses one of her squares off of the Mulder and Scully: Totally Doing It? office pool sheet. Scully thinks she knows where Mulder's taking Roche, and Skinner digs at her a few more times before they light out together after him.

Mulder ushers Roche into what we can assume is his father's place on the Vineyard, everything closed up and swathed in plastic. Mulder, maybe you should unload that real estate. Roche strolls around, happy as a pig in shit to resume tormenting Mulder pronto. "You ready?" he asks. "Go," Mulder says, stone-faced. Roche begins his recitation: the date, the Mulder 'rents stepping out next door, Roche watching the kids for a while before cutting the power. He paces, smiling puckishly, enjoying this so, so much. Ugh. The front door wasn't even locked, ha ha, oh, the innocent 70s! He gives Mulder credit for going for his dad's gun, but he ultimately choked and Roche took Samantha "away from all this. To a happier place." Mulder's been listening to all this, motionless, but now he approaches Roche, gets right up in his face. "That's exactly how it happened? Right here in this room?" he prom pts. Roche agrees, and Mulder takes a moment to breathe before breaking out in a tight, deadly smile of his own. "Wrong house," he tells Roche. They're in Bill Mulder's post-divorce home, an entirely different village six miles from where Samantha disappeared. "You screwed up! You were never here! You didn't take Samantha!" Mulder goes on, gathering steam. "Wishful thinking," Roche tries, but Mulder's got a theory: when he profiled Roche, got inside his head, it somehow opened a connection between them, and Roche in turn got into Mulder's dreams and memories. This is as paranormal as this episode is going to get, which I like, frankly; in a story that's otherwise an emotional steamroller, it's all the woo-woo you need. Roche keeps trying to backpedal. "You're just resisting me," he says, and Mulder snaps: "And you're in the wrong house, you stoopid sonova bitch!" he barks. Duchovny's New York accent busts out a little here, with the yelling ; it's a tiny bit funny, and a huge bit SMOKING HOT. Yow.

Roche knows he's beaten, and sits…but he can't help a little more taunting. "I heard things about you, Mulder….I heard you go after aliens. From space! It's like your world will be okay as long as you can believe in, like, flying saucers—" Here, Noonan makes this truly hilarious little buzzy-whistling bbwwweeeeeoooooo! spaceship noise, with accompanying "liftoff" hand gesture; he's still completely heinous but it's the single thing in this episode that makes me laugh out loud. "But I'm telling you the God's honest truth," he finishes, wagging his finger at Mulder. "I can see you're not as open-minded as you think you are." Now that he's spelled out the theme of this entire plotline for us, I guess I could use a break and a drink. Mulder's all, whatever, jackass. Enjoy your last night of freedom. You stoopid sonofa bitch!

Davy Crockett Motor Court. Oh, it's Massachusetts…maybe the Paul Revere Motor Inne? Anyway: motel. Roche lies in the bed, sleeping petulantly, handcuffed to the nightstand. Mulder's at the table. He's just going to sit up there all night, stewing in his own bitter triumph. No, he's not at all sleep-deprived! What are you implying? Frankly, he takes umbrage at the very—hold on. Is that screaming, outside? Mulder hurries to the window. Hey! There's actually a lighted sign we glimpse for a second: Vineyard Motor Court! Well, it was nice of the crew to knock that together, there. The El Camino's parked out front; in the passenger seat is little-girl Samantha, crying for help. Casting a frantic glance at the sleeping Roche, Mulder runs out.

The El Camino's engine revs and revs; Samantha bangs on the window, screaming. "Fox! Unlock me!" she begs, as Mulder races to the car. It's obviously a nightmare, but hella creepy nonetheless. Hey, Sam, there should be a little button on the thing, there, do you think you could…never mind. In the seamless logic of dreams, Mulder finds the keys in his pocket. He yanks the car door open and hauls Samantha into his arms. Oddly enough, she seems to be dressed in her overalls from her days as a clone grunt-worker on that bee farm in "Herrenvolk." Mulder doesn't care; he clutches her to him and spins her around in ecstatic relief, beaming. It's over! Thank God! Nothing to worry about here, no, never mind the fact that Samantha is apparently a 34-year-old in a second-grader's body. Mulder holds her away from himself for a second, just to check: yep, it's really her! Whew! Hurray! He clasps her to him again and, over her shoulder, spies the red dot on the pavement. It winks into a word: BYE. The tires scream. Mulder whips around: his arms are empty. So's the parking lot.

Furious hammering on the motel-room door. Mulder blearily lifts his head from the table…and discovers he's handcuffed to it. The bed's empty; Roche is gone. Mulder manages to stand and flip the table over to free himself, without whacking himself in the face like I would have. It's Skinner and Scully at the door, Skinner marginally more likely to have his entire head blow off with anger. They quickly assess: Mulder must have freed Roche in his sleep, and Roche took off with the last heart…aaaand Mulder's badge, cell phone, and gun. Greeaaat. Skinner conveys his considerable disappointment, loudly and about six inches from Mulder's face. Where might Roche have been headed? Mulder suddenly remembers the little girl on the plane, and borrows Skinner's phone to request the passenger manifest. Funny coinky-dink: "Special" "Agent" "Fox Mulder" of the FBI just called and requested that same information ten minutes ago!