SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

< PREVIOUS

Stupid tourist worker guy with a bald head gets smart with Duane and asks if they're going to have sit on the floor all night. Duane smacks him in the mouth and knocks the guy's glasses off. I don't normally advocate violence, but uppity people piss me off, so right on, Duane. Oh, the female workers [both gasp] at the sight of the violence and look away. As Bart Simpson says, "If you don't watch the violence you'll never get desensitized to it!" Duane tells Baldy to shut up, and Blondie office worker says they all have families. Doc Hakkie asks Duane not to hurt anyone, and Duane says he's not going to hurt the doc. That doesn't bode well for Baldy, Blondie, and Brunette. He tells the doc that Hakkie is going to come with him so the doc can experience what being taken is like. It's real, he screams in Hakkie's ear. Ow. Then the phone rings.

Oh, hello there, it's a sultry-voiced FBI agent speaking. How are you today, Duane? I'm going to talk to you while I read from this here notepad I have in front of me, which reads in highlighted letters: Honesty. Conciliation. Containment. Resolution. There's a written script that tells Mulder what he needs to say. Mulder wants to make sure Duane gets what he wants and that Bob, Kimberly, Gwen, and Dr. Hakkie don't get hurt. I think I'll stick to Baldy, Blondie, and Brunette. So there. Duane Barry doesn't think that Mulder knows what Duane Barry is going through. Duane Barry sounds a little ticked. Mulder says he knows Duane is scared and he wants to make things right, but Duane ain't going back to no nuthouse, see? Duane peeks through the blinds hanging on the office door and tells "Mul-dure" he knows the routine, and recites the highlighted terms from Mulder's notepad. Uh-oh! Mulder keeps up the friendly routine, but Duane ain't buying it: Mulder needs to keep the FBI doing anything stupid (that might be hard for Mulder) or from storming the office or else the hostages die.

After Duane abruptly hangs up, Mulder finds out that Duane used to be FBI until 1982, and after that he was institutionalized on and off. Mulder's pretty annoyed with Kazdin for not telling him, and theorizes that the FBI wants this situation taken care of on the hush-hush to minimize the Bureau's embarrassment. Mulder says that they didn't need to bring him out just to read from some script. Mulder says that Duane is afraid, and to win his trust they need to understand what he's afraid of. Then crazy Spooky goes on to ask Kazdin if she's ever spoken with abductees and heard all their terrible stories. As Mulder tells Kazdin this we see Krycek standing in the background. Mulder brushes by him (and totally doesn't move enough to prevent their shoulders from touching!) and Alex comes up to Kazdin to see if he can be of assistance. His hair is parted on the right side of his head, in case anyone was interested. She asks him his name and if he has his Handy Dandy FBI Notebook. Of course Alex is prepared -- he removes his notepad halfway from his jacket -- when Kazdin tells him she wants "Grande, two percent cappuccino with vanilla." Kazdin walks away and Krycek makes a face, stuffing his notepad back into his jacket. Aww, he was totally bitch-slapped! If Kazdin only knew what that earnest, slick-haired FBI greenie would eventually become, she'd be asking for a venti cappuccino, because that's the last damn time he'll be fetching coffee for anyone, yo.

We see the back of Scully's head watching the hostage drama unfold on TV when she gets a call from Mulder, telling her that he's in Virginia. I wonder if Gillian Anderson goes back and watches these episodes to see how pregnant she looked, even from the neck up. She's kinda chunky in the face, which, I must say, looks a whole hell of a lot better than she does now, all waif-like and bony. Ugh. Mulder asks her what the media is saying, and Scully says that she's heard it's an escaped mental patient. But whoa ho, waitaminnit there, Scullster, because what they aren't saying is that Duane is a former FBI agent and a supposed alien abductee. Mulder asks Scully to look up Duane's background, from medical to any information about his abduction experiences. As he asks her this, the room goes dark. The lights on the floor of each building go off one by one, and even the soothing fountain outside Travel Time shuts off. Duane gets freaked, and starts gesturing with his weapon. Of course, this is an opportune time for one of the hostage women to get screechy. Brother. Kazdin's team thinks it's the tactical team doing it, but they report in that it's not them. Then all of a sudden a blinding white light illuminates the command center. Ow, my eyes! The light fades and we hear a gunshot. Then we hear four more, since ol' Duane is shooting at something.

The command center is going crazy, because there are shots fired, and they've lost their dedicated phone line into the office. Mulder asks the phone number of the office (555-2804), and dials it on his cell. Kazdin walks over to Mulder and tells him an electrical substation blew, and that power is out up and down the block. Mulder gets Duane on the line and asks if anyone has been hurt. Oh dear, Baldy took one in the upper chest. Blondie asks Brunette to get towels, but Brunette is all shaking and panicking and shit. It would have been nice if it was one of the women that got shot, and Baldy was the one acting all scared and stuff. Duane tells Mulder that they're going to need a doctor.

A technician is doing something with the IntraAudio, Mid Aural Implant, Receiver JD-111471 and then sticks it in Mulder's ear. He tells Mulder that he's going to have ambient hearing loss, and that his sense of balance may be affected. Hey, that's some good technology when you're heading in to face an armed, slightly crazy, hostage-taker, huh? You can't run after anyone or dodge an incoming bullet because you'll get dizzy! Mulder has a flak vest on, and one of the command crew is giving him instructions. Mulder's vest is wired with a microphone so they can hear everything that's going on. Mulder dresses in an EMT uniform as Kazdin wonders if he really wants to do this. Wouldn't Duane recognize Mulder's really, really distinctive voice? Kazdin tells Mulder not to risk his own life for anything, and don't jump into Duane's delusions. Aw, delusion-jumping was my chosen sport in high school. It's a good thing Mulder is wiry, because if he had muscles that flak vest would be really noticeable. Mulder will be going in with Agent Janus, who's a trained medic. Mulder's job is to keep Duane talking so he doesn't shoot anyone, and then try to move Duane to the front door so that one of the three trained snipers on the roof can blast Duane into the next life! Hoo-ah!