SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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The next chime takes us (rather chung-chung-like) to crime scene tape, in a lobby. A police officer lifts the tape so a sheriff and Mulder can come under it. The sheriff gives Mulder some details: “Thanks for coming on such short notice. I realize the F.B.I.'s Behavioral Science Unit normally profiles murder suspects that are still at large, and it must be odd being asked to profile our suspects, all of whom are dead.” Meanwhile, Mulder (thankfully wearing gloves this time) squats down and looks under the plastic covering a body. Aww, season 2 Mulder is so young.

The sheriff continues that he's relieved the Bureau answered his request and sent him, and I am distracted as we actually see the sheriff's face because he looks just like Bill Nye the Science Guy. So Bill Nye he is. Bill continues to blabber on about how unexplained everything about this case is. Wait, are the X-Files closed right now? I forget. I guess it probably is, huh, since it's at the beginning of the season. Anyway, Mulder (who is very pretty, and looks about 16) still hasn't spoken, as Bill explains that the crime scene is preserved, the businesses in the building are closed for the day, etc. Ooh! Darin Morgan helped write this episode! See, I told you there was a reason I liked it so much.

Mulder is now in the elevator, looking at the blood smears on the wall. He of course also notices that the readout is broken, and finally speaks to ask if it was damaged during the incident. The Science Guy doesn't know, but will find out. Mulder asks to see the suspect. As they leave the crime scene, Bill remarks that things like this aren't supposed to happen here.

Mulder: “A forty-two year old real estate agent murders four strangers with his bare hands? That's not supposed to happen anywhere.” True.

Bill explains that he meant that this area just doesn't have this kind of crime – “since colonial times, there's [sic] only been three murders in this area,” but in the last sixth months seven people have killed 22. And apparently that's higher per capita than the combined homicide rates of Detroit, D.C., and Los Angeles. Huh.

As they walk toward the body, Mulder asks, “In each incident, the suspect was killed?” Nye nods: suicide by cop in every case, in a public area. Every time, the suspect went nuts, so officers had to shoot to save lives.

Mulder asks if autopsies were done to test for substance abuse in the victims. Bill replies, in that kinda annoying tone this show gives from people from small towns, “Agent Mulder, this town is mainly made up of apple and cherry growers. These folks don't drink much. They certainly don't do drugs,” and I thought at first he meant that it was stupid to even suggest such a thing, but no, he was just giving a little sermon before adding that the tests were negative.

They've reached the body of the suspect/victim. Mulder uncovers him and notices something about the right hand. There's a bluish-green substance on two fingertips. Meanwhile, there's this exchange:

Bill: I played softball with this guy over Labor Day. He was one of those nice guys... couldn't play and didn't bitch about being stuck in right field.

Mulder: What's wrong with right field?

Bill: Always the first one to shake hands at the end of the game. Didn't matter whether they won or lost.

Mulder: (obviously only sort of paying attention, which makes sense because Bill's going all preachy again) Got to have an arm to play right field.

Bill: Bought a round of beers afterwards, even though he didn't drink. (Okay, we get it, we never would have expected it, he was a saint, blahblahblah.)

Mulder: I played right field.

Hee. Mulder then covers the hand in a bag, and asks for it to be analyzed by the bureau. Bill, looking very serious, asks what could possibly bring someone to do this.

Then we cut to another digital screen. Uh-oh. It's an ATM, and Ed is using it. He puts in his PIN (note how I did not say either “ATM machine” or “PIN number”. Gah.) and then goes to select an account when he hears a little girl whine, “Mommy!” and the mother's response: “You're bleeding.” Immediately becoming agitated, he turns around and sees a little girl in overalls (poor kid) with a nosebleed, her mother kneeling in front of her holding a tissue to it.

Can I just say that this show has made me freak out whenever I get a nosebleed? Not because I, like poor Ed, am particularly afraid of blood, but the whole cancer thing. Sigh. So, yeah, Ed grimaces as the mother continues to admonish the girl not to touch it or it'll bleed again, and he turns back to the ATM...

...which now reads “SECURITY GUARD” (and once again, no chime. I think I was right). Slow pan around Ed as he turns to see a security guard behind him. Looking lost, Ed turns back to the screen. It gives a normal ATM beep and changes to, “TAKE HIS GUN”. Ed looks back at the guard, mouth slightly open. Now there's both a dramatic chime and the ATM beep as the screen commands “KILL 'EM ALL”. Nice creepy sequence as Ed grimaces, closes his eyes, and starts clawing at his face and generally acting wacko, with several shots back to the screen – still reading “KILL 'EM ALL” and chiming dramatically each time. Ed starts crying out and beating the screen, which attracts the attention of the security guard.

The guard comes over, asking what the hell's wrong with Ed, who just runs off. The ATM screen innocently wonders whether the guard would like another transaction.

Oh, great. A voiceover. I'd hoped that by avoiding mytharc episodes, I'd avoid these. Anyway, Mulder's talking about mass murders while we see shots of the suspects from the homicides. Two categories for perpetrators of mass murders: spree killer and the serial. Since these murders are “sudden violent outbursts in a public locale” and the suspects don't care whether they're identified or even if they survive, it's a spree killing. I think we could have figured that out by the name, but whatever. At least the voiceover is done. That wasn't too bad, actually.

Nope, wait, not done. We're in Quantico, and Scully (yay, Scully!) is reading this – it's Mulder's report. She's wearing glasses, by the way, which is cute. Aww. Mulder continues that these perpetrators are odd in that they all are statistically more likely to be the victim of this kind of crime – they were all “middle-income, responsible people. None with a history of violence.” We see pictures of all the suspects again, but these are pictures of them while alive. They all look happy and normal. Then we see pictures of them all sprawled and dead and stuff.