SEASON 1

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SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

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Doolittle Airfield; Nome, Alaska. Wow, it looks a lot like Vancouver. But I guess it would, since they're both, y'know, up there (hey, I'm in the desert. If it's cold, it all looks the same to me.). A guy in a San Diego Chargers baseball cap is listening to an old Raiders/Chargers game on his walkman (oh, my God, did they not have CDs in 1993??) and exclaims "Faust is God!" before turning around to grin sheepishly at Mulder and Scully. Y'know, I don't remember much about the German transmission of this episode, other than Scully having this unnaturally low voice, but I do remember this scene. Charger Fan exclaims, "Faust ist Gottlieb!", which means the same thing. So, now I have to say that whenever I watch this. I know. It's a thing.

Scully's wearing this adorably huge winter coat with furry trim around the collar (I hope she didn't get that at Burlington Coat Factory. Remember when they accidentally stocked coats that were partially made of dog fur?), and Mulder's wearing, oh, some other kind of winter coat. Scully tells Charger Fan that there's no football on Wednesday as jocks all over the world fall in love with her for knowing that, and he tells her that he's got a recording of his favorite plays on tape. That explains the lack of CD. I don't think they had CD burners back then. Unless, again, the military was using them to secretly listen to high quality, surround sound, crystal clear music. Nefarious music, of course.

They introduce each other, and Charger Fan is actually Danny Murphy (who gave Jerry a suit in Seinfeld and made him pay for it forever. Remember that guy? He's a lot less annoying here.) from the Geology department at UC San Diego. OMG, that's my alma mater! Awesome! I don't remember seeing him on campus when I got there in '97. Oh, wait. I know why. You'll find out, too, in Act Two. So sad.

Anyway, Mulder asks him if he studies much ice in San Diego, and Murphy (who I'll keep calling Charger Fan because that's easier to remember) jokes, "Only what's around the keg," as two more people run up to meet them. Hey, it's Lynette from Desperate Housewives! Or, if you're a purist, like me, it's Dana from Sports Night! Along with Xander Berkeley. Oh, he so did it. He plays bad guys in everything. Air Force One, Shanghai Noon (yes, I admit, I saw it. On a dare.). Plus, he was a huge asshat on Apollo 13. He so did it. Anyway, Other Dana and Evil Xander introduce themselves as Dr. Da Silva, a toxicologist, and Dr. Hodge, a medical doctor, respectively. Xander already pulls a dick move by insisting on seeing everyone's ID. Once they've established no one's pulling a fast one on him, they turn to see a battered old Jeep pull into the hangar. Bear gets out. Hey, he was a bad guy on Buffy! I don't trust him, either. Maybe he did it. He tells them to grab their gear and head for the plane. He's their pilot. Hodge asks him for ID, and Bear scoffs. He's the only pilot willing to fly them up there. Suck it, Evil Xander.

Stock footage of a plane flying over snow. Cut to Mulder breaking into the Ice Core Project Base from the teaser, to find a dead body at the entrance. The rest of the team enters with heavy coats and flashlights, and Mulder suggests they document the scene before touching anything. Way to use your FBI training there, bub. Scully begins to take pictures as Mulder ignores his own advice and opens one of the freezers to show us the ice that the last team had drilled. Charger Fan reaches in to get samples, as Mulder heads over to Da Silva to ease her jumpiness when a loud bang fills the air. "It's the generator", he assures her. Then, "You're cute, Other Dana. Too bad you go all ape shit later and then end up forming a ridiculous plan to force Casey to date other women instead of you in order to get it out of his system, thereby becoming only the first of many of Aaron Sorkin's almost-couples that never end up going anywhere. At least Donna and Josh ended up together." He didn't really say that last part. The lights flicker on and Mulder is attacked from behind by the dog from the teaser. He protects himself from being bitten by holding up, I kid you not, a snowshoe, as the group runs to help him. A horribly fake dub of "Dog Barking Sound #3: Disease Bearing Dog Attack" plays as Bear grabs the dog and gets bitten. Hodge prepares a needle while the other manly men hold the dog down. Uh, oh. Bear's bleeding but Mulder's okay; it didn't break the skin.