SEASON 1

SEASON 2

SEASON 3

SEASON 4

SEASON 5

FIGHT THE FUTURE

SEASON 6

SEASON 7

SEASON 8

SEASON 9

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In the LBO, Mulder watches the tape of Pudge's demise and Gil freaking out in the command center. So it was…easy to get the tape from the building's clutches, then? Nope, I'm not stopping. Mulder looks understandably appalled. I have to say, his former partners and coworkers have a very poor track record of, you know, survival. Suddenly the fact that Scully never can bring herself to leave him begins to make sense. Beyond the fact that he's effing beautiful, I mean. Speak of the devil: here comes Scully, in the red suit with the little black velvet collar. Hee hee, I love that one. She's sorry about Pudge. I wouldn't be too sorry, Scully. Mulder confides that he doesn't think Gil Bates is guilty; why would he go back to Eurisko and get himself captured on video? Scully tries to comfort Mulder and convince him that he's suffering a little PTSD. If I had a dollar…anyway, Mulder thinks Gil is too smart to be a blatantly stupid murderer. He's rather perplexed, then, when Scully points out that Gil has already signed a confession.

Fairly pointless scene in which Mulder drives out to the Bates mansion and is turned away by the higher-clearance suits working the crime scene. What's this, a cover-up? Dunn! Next, Mulder sits on the plaza at Eurisko, wearing large hilarious-but-somehow-cool sunglasses. Are those Vuarnets? The Vancouver SkyTrain tootles by in the background; for some reason this cheers me enormously and makes me want to shout out Hiii! to everyone on board. You're in the X-Files, everybody! Hey, here comes Deep Throat! I'd forgotten he had anything to do with this stupid episode. Deep Throat is likewise irritated, chiding Mulder for dragging him into this crapfest. Mulder presses on, wanting to know why Gil is the subject of a "code five investigation," evidently something orchestrated by the Department of Defense. Deep Throat gives us all the bullet, namely that supergenius Gil is a "bleeding heart," who's spurned all advances from the weapons industry while he worked to develop artificial-intelligence software. (SkyTrain again: hiiiiiii!) Supposedly, Gil's behind the first "adaptive network…a computer that actually thinks." Naturally the DOD wants to get its grubby paws on this immediately. Mulder contemplates.

Federal Detention Center, Washington, D.C. "They make me wear shoes all the time; what else do you want from me?" Gil whines to a visiting Mulder. Okay: hee. Mulder's convinced that Gil falsely confessed to protect the COS. Gil whips out a parable for our times: "After the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Robert Oppenheimer spent the rest of his life regretting he'd ever glimpsed an atom." Mulder and his sudden Stray Cats pompadour are pissed: "Oppenheimer may have regretted his actions, but he never denied responsibility for them!" Gil is undeterred: "He loved the work, Mr. Mulder. His mistake was in sharing it with an immoral government. I won't make the same mistake." And this, kids, was during the Bill Clinton administration. Eep. Mulder points out that COS is a killer; Gil is sorry, but thinks that COS being limited to just killing people in one office tower, as opposed to all over the globe, is the lesser of two evils. Mulder suggests a third option: "You created that machine…now you tell me how to destroy it."

Mulder and Scully walk out of…I don't know. Where'd you come from, red-suited Scully? Gil claims he can create a virus to destroy COS; Scully thinks Gil's just blaming the machine as an alibi. While she and Mulder argue about the likelihood of AI so well-developed that it can act in its own defense, I try to figure out the pattern on Mulder's tie: large gold…belt buckles? Under attack by paramecia? Scully still thinks that Mulder's under duress from the untimely demise of Agent Pudge. "Maybe you should talk to someone," she suggests, as the camera swings around them to show the SkyTrain (Hiiiiiii!) yet again. They're back at Eurisko, then? Or the Federal pokey is also on the train line? Or shooting every exterior at this business park came real cheap? Whatever. "You're probably right," Mulder grumbles, and strides off "to talk to someone," ditching Scully. I hope you're not still falling for this stuff, Scully…altho ugh the classic MulderDitches at this point probably still number in the single digits. Hmmm.

Back in the jailhouse, a guard opens Gil's cell, waking him. He doesn't have shoes on at the moment, I note. Mulder's back for a visit. "How much time do you need?" he asks, proffering a laptop. Gil eyes it glumly.

Chez Scully. She's sacked out in bed, apparently having fallen asleep over a big honking hardcover book, Obstacle Course. Try as I might, I can't make out whether the author is Jose Chung. The camera pans over to show us that it's 1:31 in the morning. Suddenly the bedside phone begins to ring. Scully fumbles for it, all "…Hh'lo?" but all she hears on the line is more dial-up eeeeEEEEing. Suddenly wide awake, she goes sprinting through the apartment to find someone—or something!—accessing her computer and her case report again. "Oh my God," she breathes, and picks up and dials…another phone, there on her desk. So she has two lines, one for the modem? But then why did the other one ring? I don't…no, never mind, who cares. "This is Special Agent Dana Scully, ID number 2317-616. I need you to run a quick trace on a number for me," she says to whoever's on the other end, and giv es them her home number. Danny, is that you? Because Danny lives at the FBI, I'm fairly certain.

Mulder stands before the mostly darkened Eurisko building in the middle of the night, striking a pensive pose for a moment before going to open the trunk of his car. He's still in his suit and tie at oh-my-god-o'clock, here…and he's startled when a second car pulls up and parks right behind him. Out climbs Scully, in this thrown-together ensemble that always makes me laugh. She's got on a dark blazer and pants, and pumps, I think…but has topped this off with a huge long red and black plaid flannel shirt. Oh, early 90s! You are so funny, with your grunge fashion! Scully explains that she'd rather be at home listening to Pearl Jam, but somebody was accessing her computer and she traced the call to Eurisko. She's all breathless and practically giddy here, evidently excited to be doing a little funky poaching with her hot partner in the middle of the night. Me too, Scully, me too. "It's the machine," Mulder says, starin g pointedly up at the building. Scully…sort of braces herself, and sighs. "How can we get in?" she says. Mulder rummages in the trunk. "Remember the Trojan Horse?" he asks, whipping out the EURISKO vanity license plate from Gil's Corvette.

On the ramp to the parking garage, Mulder and Scully wait while a laser scanner and/or blinky red light reads the plate, now affixed to the back of Mulder's (?) car. They pass, and the metal security gate rises slowly in front of them. "Ooopen Sesame," Mulder jokes, grinning. Scully looks unamused, but is nonetheless absolutely cute as a button, here, all wide-eyed and makeup-free in her lumberjack shirt. I kind of want to jump through the TV and pinch her chipmunk cheeks, seriously, because ohmygod SO CUTE. Mulder pulls the car forward. TSCRO—oh, Security Camera, I've missed you for the last 10 minutes! Suddenly the red-and-white-striped parking arm claps down in front of their car. "Aw, what the—" Mulder grouses, and then WHAMMO, the metal gate slams down onto their windshield as Scully cries out. After the slug for a commercial break, we return to the slightly smooshed car, whose horn blares on steadily. Mulder and Scully both scramble out through his door, unhurt, and duck under the gate. Scully's got her fingers in her ears, hee. Mulder pops the hood and yanks a cable free, silencing the horn and making me want to marry him, so I can sic him on every one of my idiot neighbors' car alarms. "So much for the element of surprise," he notes. He suggests they take the stairs, and guides Scully along with his hand on her arm, aww. TSCRO.