The Title Says It All, And X Marks The Shot
HERRENVOLK – But only if you speak German. In case you don’t, “herrenvolk” means “master race”. It’s totally appropriate, therefore, to kill off the main African-American character, and replace him with a blonde white female. And Mulder sees his sister… and his sister… and his sister… and his sister. He had to go to Canada for that?
04×03: HOME – Crazy inbred freaks plus Johnny Mathis equals gross-out comedy gold. (TWOP RECAP by Jessica)
Michael Jackson, Eat Your Pituitary Gland Out!
TELIKO – An African legend makes its way to America and starts sucking all the black out of black people. He can squeeze into all sorts of places. It’s sort of like Tooms, but racist and without the fun escalator death.
America’s Next Top Lobotomist
UNRUHE – We learn this week that psychic energy can make film… scream and give away the secrets of a murderer. Because warped film likes to show the world’s evil Actually, so does normal film. It’s a good episode, if you can look beyond the abysmal logic.
The Episode Where I Slept
THE FIELD WHERE I DIED – This week, David Duchovny channels his inner Shatner as he tries to give some credence to a crazy lady’s claims. Of course, the two hypnosis sessions don’t add up properly. And Cancer Man was a Nazi. Despite being alive and involved in a conspiracy as a full-grown man halfway across the world a few years later. And the teaser is recycled at the end, and it doesn’t make sense either time.
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep…
SANGUINARIUM – …But plastic surgeons don’t seem to realise that. Pentagrams and leeches are the order of the day as Moose and Squirrel try and liposuck important information out of their black magic-practicing assistant this week. It’s disturbing and should never have been made. At least not until Botox was invented.
Life Is Like A Box Of Flashbacks
MUSINGS OF A CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN – In a series of flashbacks, we discover that Cancer Man loves a good assassination, that he loves Forrest Gump, that he loves writing, and that a coin toss in responsible for the backstory contained in the first season’s “E.B.E.”. Also, Frohike nearly dies but then doesn’t for some reason.
Alice in Mulderland
04×08: PAPER HEARTS — A convicted, child-molesting serial killer seems to have an uncanny connection with Mulder. What’s worse, he might have a previously undisclosed connection to poor missing Samantha too. Paper hearts, cloth hearts, whatever: prepare to have yours broken, unless it’s carved out of a solid lump of the blackest coal. (Recap by Lurkey)
The Other Kind Of Alien
EL MUNDO GIRA – In an episode eerily reminiscent of “F. Emasculata”, Moose and Squirrel (well, Moose anyway) chase after something spreading murder and mayhem (and fungus) throughout southern California. Or something. Then it turns out it’s all like a Mexican soap opera. The folk tales are the clincher for how weird this episode is.
Never Again (T)
04×13: NEVER AGAIN – Scully finally gets some. (TWOP RECAP by Jessica)
I’m Sorry, But You Have Something I Need…
LEONARD BETTS – …a decent plot. A guy who could give Cancer Man a run for his money grows a new head and tries to cannibalise Our Scully. Then she finds out she has cancer herself. Thanks for ruining the party, dude!
MEMENTO MORI: REMEMBER SCULLY WILL DIE
4×15: MEMENTO MORI – Scully has cancer… and it’s terminal and now she has to remember that she will die, just in case she had forgotten she was mortal… being a medical doctor and forensic pathologist and all. Mulder finds out that he’s about to lose the one thing with which he cannot live without. Again! So he deals with it by finding Scully’s stolen ova and not telling her about it for four years, BFF! (Recap by Buffangel)
Blink And You Miss Him
UNREQUITED – A long-considered-dead Vietnam veteran starts to kill the people who can help him. Because wars make people crazy. And he can become invisible. So, uh, yay for him. Something else probably happens, but I blinked and missed it.
TUNGUSKA – Mulder heads to Russia to uncover more about the Oiliens. Krycek tags along, because his parents were Russian. This does not help them from escaping the gulag. Meanwhile, Scully has to BS Mulder’s way out of this. Again. She should try a career in improv.
Standing In Arm’s Way
TERMA – This week, there is less chicken wire and more explosions as everybody except Krycek, Russians included, somehow gets back to the US undetected. Then, events which are somehow related lead our heroes to that wonderful home of alien conspiracies, North Dakota, for no reason other than to watch an oil well explode. Also, Krycek loses his arm. But he’s still hot, so nobody really cares.
TEMPUS FUGIT – …When you’re being abducted by aliens again. For the safety of all other people, if you are a frequent abductee, please drive to your destination. But on the other hand, the guys from Lost are jealous of the plane wreck y’all managed to set up. And so is this recapper.
A Stitch In Time Saves Nine Minutes
MAX – Mulder finds out the truth behind the plane crash. Turns out the USAF shot down the plane when it saw there was a UFO near it. Because going for the dangerous and unidentified flying object would endanger the plane passengers more than shooting straight at them.
Like Back To The Future, Except Stupid
SYNCHRONY – An old guy comes back from the future to stop himself from making time-travel possible. Which would make him dead. Logic called, it’s having another week’s holiday in Liechtenstein. (The decent places in Europe were all booked.)
Van Blundt, Van Blundht – Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to
4X20: Small Potatoes -A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a woman who claimed that Luke Skywalker -yes, THE Luke Skywalker – was the father of her baby. Her baby with a tail.
Need I say more? Didn’t think so.
Oh, also? A shape-shifter tries to get lucky with Scully. Again. Oh yes. (Recap by Gryffindork)
A Deal With The Devil In Disguise
ZERO-SUM – Skinman gets a chance to shine this week. And by ‘shine’, I mean, ‘kiss ass’. The bees and Marita return, and Mulder thinks Skinner is a bad guy. He obviously has never tried Skinner’s pies.
ELEGY – Scully starts to see dead people. I don’t care what you think, Haley Joel Osment ain’t got nothing on her. Then she begins to think she’s going to die. And a bowling alley worker who memorises every score. Relax, he’s not a stalker, people! But it’s still a pretty boring episode.
Demon, Or Devil?
4×23: DEMONS – This is a cool hybrid episode, where hybrid means combo of mytharc and standalone and doesn’t involve any human alien hybrids. Mulder runs off with a hair brained idea to find out about his past, and ends up with a murder rap. Scully saves his ass. Mulder rewards her with the Worst Mulder Ditch Ever and by pulling a gun on her. And did I mention that Mulder decides to drill holes in his head not once but twice? (Recap by kschica)
Scully Was Right, For Once
GETHSEMANE – In the big season finale, our heroes uncover a hoax in Alaska, Scully gets sicker, and Mulder ‘dies’ again. See you next season!