7×19 – BRAND X
by foxestacado
Recap by Mack the Spoon
So, this episode is actually one of my favorites from season 7, despite – or more likely partly because of – the gross-out factor. I’m happy to recap it and I hope I can do it justice. If you don’t remember, the gross-out factor is the kind that I thought I was going to get from “War of the Coprophages” (although of course that episode ended up being just awesomely funny and amazing) – the bugs-all-over-people kind. Except it’s even worse.
But anyway, the episode starts with a shot of smoke coming out of a chimney, which I totally didn’t notice the first time I watched it. Clever. Or, you know, anvilicious – take your pick. There’s a guy in protective custody. Skinner’s protective custody, to be exact, in a safe house. Or more likely the guy’s house, with FBI protection, but anyway. The guy’s wife gives the required TV “I feel like a prisoner in my house” thing, and Skinner replies with the standard “We’re just keeping you safe” response. Then the wife tries to convince the guy (whose name is Jim) not to testify, but he just says, “I have to do this.”
She leaves, looking worried and annoyed. Then Jim coughs. Really unpleasantly. Because this is The X-Files, you know this is a Bad Thing. Some other agent brings him some water immediately, which he drinks a little of. Skinner tells him that the FBI will pick him up for the hearing tomorrow at 7:30, and that right now he’ll be right outside the door if Jim needs him.
Once Skinner has left the room, Jim coughs again, and it sounds really bad. I thought at this point that he must be a smoker. Hahaha, that’s hilarious in retrospect, isn’t it? When the coughing means he has trouble breathing, I get nervous, like I always do. Being an asthmatic myself, I don’t like hearing wheezing in other people (or myself). Then Poor, Doomed Jim takes another sip, sets down the glass, and leaves. We see that the glass has blood in it – and a black beetle. Eeeeewww! Gross.
Next, it’s early morning and the wife wakes up, confused as to where her husband is. There’s a light coming from the attached bedroom, and her husband’s shadow is visible. She asks if he’s all right. No, no, he isn’t. When there’s no response and she can’t get the door open, she calls for Skinner. He and the other agent come running in, and they have to push the wife out of the way to try to open the door.
Finally, the door opens – Doomed Jim’s body had been blocking it. I say “body” because, as Skinner reveals when he turns it over, everything is bloody and his FACE IS MISSING. I mean, it seems to have been EATEN AWAY BY BUGS (oops, that last part is a spoiler!). Strangely, Jim’s wife is distressed by this.
Ahh, pre-season-8 credits. I miss them.
So the next scene is, naturally, Mulder and Scully coming up to the house, with the usual other agents scurrying around. One of them escorts the wife out as they come in. Skinner is on the phone, trying to explain himself to someone. Obviously it’s not going to well, and he ends the call frustratedly as Mulder and Scully approach. Man, I do not like season 7 Scully’s hair, although it looks pretty decent in this scene. Mulder: “Rough night?” Skinner says it’s shaping up to be an ever rougher morning, and beckons them onward, to where the body was found.
Our favorite duo wants to know the details. I’m just going to give Skinner’s line directly from the transcript, ’cause I’m lazy like that: “Dr. James Scobie, age 44. R&D biochemist with Morley tobacco. If he were alive as of … (checks his watch) … 26 minutes ago he’d be giving testimony against his former employer before a federal grand jury.” No one knows exactly what he was going to say, but it could have been damaging to Morley and the guy had received death threats, which is why Skinner was supposed to be protecting him.
Scully asks if someone made good on the threats to his life. Skinner says yes, but they can’t figure out how. He shows them a picture of the body. Everyone is properly disgusted. Mulder: “Can’t blow a whistle with a mouth like that.” Scully suggests acid, and Mulder objects that the man would have screamed bloody murder if that had been the case. Skinner cuts the discussion short by saying he just needs answers, ASAP, because the case is really high-profile, etc. Scully agrees to do the autopsy, of course. At least it isn’t her only function on the show. Yet.
Mulder and Skinner walk through the house together, and Mulder, canny as ever, notices that there aren’t any ashtrays. He’s surprised that neither Jim nor his wife smoke. And there’s where I got even more confused about what was going on. Mulder thinks that if it was a hit it was unusually high-profile, and Skinner suggests that it was to intimidate other possible witnesses. He says he’s going to go speak to Jim’s supervisor, Peter Voss. Mulder wants to come.
Then Skinner’s attention is drawn by some other agent. In the meantime, Mulder notices the bloody water with the now-drowned beetle in it. Also, he’s pretty. Mulder, not the beetle. Ew.
Next scene is Skinner and Mulder at the kind of alarmingly pristine Morley headquarters. Skinner walks up to the guy at the desk and asks to see Dr. Voss. Anyway, Security Guy asks if they have an appointment. Both agents pull out their badges and identify themselves as FBI. Security Guy just repeats his question. Mulder and Skinner pull out their badges again. It’s cute. Skinner: “Maybe you missed this the first time around.”
Before Security Guy can perhaps ask again if they have an appointment, another man comes into view. He introduces himself as David Brimley, head of Corporate Security, and shakes their hands. He knows why they’re here, and states that he’s very sorry to hear of Jim’s death. Okay, if I’d realized when I started that everyone was going to be calling him Scobie, except his wife, I’d have called him that, too. But Jim it is. So there. Anyway, I am skeptical, especially since this actor always plays sleazy types. Mulder is skeptical, too, and wonders if anyone had any hard feelings about him being about to testify. Brimley says nobody was happy he was going to do that, but “the timing of his death couldn’t have been worse.” I don’t really know what he means by that, but whatever.
Mulder and Skinner follow Brimley to a conference room, where they sit on one side of a table facing a bunch of Morley dudes, including Voss. Voss asks them to pass on his condolences to Jim’s wife, and calls her by name. He seems to perhaps be honestly sad. Mulder says it would be a comfort to Joan to know how her husband died. Skinner cuts to the chase and asks what Jim was going to testify about. (I think that’s the second sentence in this recap that I’ve ended with a preposition. I notice these things, but apparently don’t change them!)
A lawyer prevents Voss from answering, saying that Voss “would be in violation of his employment confidentiality clause in answering that question.” Both agents are suitably annoyed, but Skinner asks Voss if Jim was his friend, and Voss says yes, for 14 years. Skinner presses that if that were the case, why did Voss demote him five weeks ago? Lawyer repeats the confidentiality spiel, adding that he’s “sure” the agents understand that their cooperation cannot include revealing company secrets. The dude looks superficially like Dr. Phil, by the way.
Skinner, getting quite annoyed, says that he wouldn’t call this cooperation of any kind. He threatens them with a warrant, which ends the conversation, according to Lawyer Phil. Before Voss leaves, though, Mulder shows him the dead beetle and asks him what it is. Voss says it’s a tobacco beetle, and asks why. Upon hearing that it was at the Scobie house, he explains that they’re all over – “there’s probably a dozen in the grill of your car right now.” I take this moment to be extremely thankful I don’t live anywhere near a tobacco company. Lawyer Phil interrupts to ask where Mulder’s going with this. Mulder: “I’m sorry, I can’t. Answering that question would violate FBI confidentiality due to the sensitive nature of our investigation.” Oh, SNAP. The lawyers all glare.
We cut to Voss pulling into his garage. His house is very nice. As he gets out of the garage, a creepy-looking guy comes up to him. Voss seems to know him, but is quite nervous, and asks what he’s doing here. Creepy dude says he’s run out of smokes, and wants Voss to honor his and Scobie’s “arrangement”, since Jim isn’t around. Voss, still nervous, hands him some cartons of cigarettes, but the guy isn’t satisfied. This makes Voss stammer that he’ll bring him more, as long as he doesn’t come around here anymore.
Weird guy picks up on the nervousness and says a lot of people are acting that way around him now. He makes some vaguely threatening noises about how isn’t it a shame Scobie’s dead, and people might like to know how that happened, and he’s actually got a good idea about that. Voss tells him to leave. The guy says he will, but he expects to see a lot of Voss in the future. Yay.
Meanwhile, Mulder and Skinner come to check up on Scully doing the autopsy. Scully says the tissue damage extends down into his throat and into his lungs. Furthermore, his “alveoli look like corned beef.” Thanks for that. Good thing it’s not St. Patrick’s Day anytime soon, because: eew. Skinner is grossed out by the sight, but Mulder is not fazed. Scully says there’s no sign of acids or any corrosive agents. Furthermore, what killed him, strictly speaking, was the inability of oxygen to get from the lungs to the bloodstream. I’m sensing lungs and breathing will be important later in this episode.
Skinner finds this unbelievable, and insists that someone still did this to him, right? Mulder says not necessarily, that maybe no one was ever in the room with Jim, and here’s the Mulder’s Crazy Theory moment for the episode! We get the What Are You Talking About? from Skinner and Scully, and Mulder goes on that maybe it wasn’t a homicide. He asks if Scully saw any tobacco beetles on the body, showing her his example. Scully looks over at Skinner and laughs nervously. Aww, I love it when she gets embarrassed for him. She says there weren’t any bugs, though, and wonders why he asked. Mulder shrugs, and Skinner, disbelievingly, asks if he’s supposed to tell the Director that they’re investigating killer bugs. It’s weird to come back to this after season 8 and 9, because that line now seems like it should come from Kersh. ::shudder:: Anyway, Mulder does his usual well-what-else-would-you-suggest, Skinner looks annoyed, and Scully sighs.
We’re back with the creepy guy from Voss’s garage. He’s sitting watching TV in a dingy apartment room, smoking. The smoke carries through the vent into the neighbor’s room. Gross. That happened to me in my family’s condo when I was little, except it was from bathroom to apparently-adjacent bathroom, and only when the fan was on. Man, those neighbors were great. Drinking and then having loud fights, smoking… we knew too much about their life. Anyway. The neighbor is understandably angry and yells at him that he’ll be kicked out because there’s no smoking allowed.
Unperturbed, the guy puffs on the cigarette again, replying, “America, man! E. Pluribus, uh…” then trailing off and spitting. Charming. And yes, the motto has anything to do with freedom to smoke. Right.
Perhaps the neighbor is angry about the ignorance of Latin, as well, because he yells and threatens some more, then starts hacking and coughing. When he takes his hand away from his mouth, it’s covered in blood. The guy responsible for all this – you just know he has to be, even before finishing the episode – just keeps right on watching his explosions on TV while his neighbor coughs until he falls over. There are hundreds of tobacco beetles all over his body, centered around his head. And guess what? The area around his mouth and nose is eaten away! EEWW. But sadly, this is not accompanied by Mark Snow’s Plucky Strings of Doooooom. There isn’t enough of the Plucky Strings in this episode – in fact, I don’t think there’s any. 
Mulder, Scully, and Skinner are at the apartment, next day. There’s a beetle on the sheet covering the neighbor’s body, which Skinner brushes off. Mulder makes a crack about guests checking into the place but not checking out. I turn on “Hotel California”. Scully (back to not-good S7 hair) deduces that this guy died in the same way as Scobie, and Skinner points out that the difference is that he was no whistle-blower – in fact, he’s pretty much a nonentity. Sorry, neighbor, but it’s true. Mulder says this all just goes to show that neither of the victims were murdered.
Again with the “What do you mean?” And again, Mulder says the beetle killed him, while picking it up. I mean, he’s not even wearing gloves. Ew. I’m gonna be using that word a lot in this episode. There’s a little discussion, in which we learn that Skinner still doesn’t believe but Scully agrees it could be a long shot. What she means is some insect-borne disease, though, and thinks they should check other residents of the building. Great idea, Scully.
Mulder knocks at the door of the creepy dude, identifying himself as FBI. He is reluctantly let in, to a really nasty, dingy-looking room showing evidence of a lot of smoking having been done here. I wonder if this is when CSM will show up, because surely he will, what with all the Morley references. Mulder asks how well he knew his neighbor, and the reply is that he knew the voice from all the yelling about his smoking. He insists again on “E. Pluribis, uh…” and lights up, since Mulder doesn’t mind. He’ll mind later. Just a little.
Mulder points out that he doesn’t seem to be surprised that his neighbor is dead, and the guy maintains his indolent attitude – “Just glad it wasn’t me.” Mulder learns his name is Darryl Weaver, and then asks if Darryl saw anything unusual last night. Mr. Weaver says there was nothing except the Korean fellow down the hall who dresses like Wonder Woman, “but that’s every night.” Okay. Mulder smiles.
Mr. Weaver wants to know if there’s any reward money. Mulder: “The FBI would appreciate your voluntary cooperation, sir. That’s the way it works.” Hee. In that case, Mr. Weaver doesn’t have anything else to say. Mulder gives him his card in case anything else comes up, then rejoins Skinner and Scully.
They don’t have anything to report. Scully says the only thing they have to go on is Mulder’s theory, and she knows an entomologist at USC. Mulder interrupts her and demands she talk to Dr. Bambi Berenbaum instead. Actually, he doesn’t, but that would be awesome. He just walks off after telling her to talk to the USC one, saying that he’s going to see about “something else that’s been bugging” him.
Next shot is Mulder knocking on Dr. Voss’s door. Mrs. Voss answers, kid in tow for some reason, but they both leave when the doctor comes to the door. They go outside to talk. Voss says he shouldn’t be talking to Mulder without Lawyer Phil being present. Mulder says he understands his reluctance, since Voss has a family, “a lot to lose.” Ah, so that was the point of the kid also being at the door.
Voss asks what Mulder wants, and Mulder informs him of the second death. Voss is sorry to hear that, but doesn’t understand the relevance. Mulder hands him the evidence bag with the beetle, explaining that they were all over the victim and he believes they killed him. Voss says that the tobacco beetle is a herbivore and that it eats tobacco. When Mulder presses the point, Voss starts to get antsy (see what I did there? I can do the lame puns, too!) and turns to leave. As Voss goes back inside Mulder asks why he’s hiding, and how many have to die before he “[does] the right thing?” Despite David Duchovny’s monotone line reading, Voss seems to have been struck by that before he closes the door. Seriously, though, I know DD is not exactly, well, Gillian Anderson-caliber in his acting, but that was as bad as I remember for anything recent. Mulder just sounded bored.
Anyway, he drives off, and Voss watches him go through his window. Voss’s phone rings. The person on the other line, with nary a “hello”, snaps, “What did he want?” Going back to the window, Voss sees a guy in a car, phone to his ear. “Are you spying on me?” Voss asks angrily, and we see that it’s David Brimley, head of Corporate Security. He denies this charge, and calls it “looking out” for Voss. Voss sighs and reports that there’s been another death, and he doesn’t know how it happened. But Voss has had enough and wants to “come forward”.
Because he’s a Sleazy Corporate guy, Brimley immediately responds menacingly, and demands to know where to find Darryl Weaver. You mean he’s involved in this?? Voss wants to know why, and Brimley says it was his mistake, so he’ll deal with it. At this, Voss pauses and then (rep)lies that he doesn’t know where Weaver is. Brimley just hangs up.
Lab of Not!Bambi Entomologists. A beetle is under the microscope, and Dr. Not!Bambi (aka Dr. Nance) is exclaiming that it doesn’t make sense. Skinner and Scully want to know the details. Dr. Nance says “it’s a lasioderma serricorne– a tobacco beetle” and do all scientists on TV have to do that, really? Anyway, but it’s got lots of physical differences that are small but noticeable. Scully nods, not seeming surprised, and asks about the possibility of genetic engineering, specifically transgenomics, or “alterations made on the genetic level.” Uh, okay, I guess I’m not a scientist, but I thought all genetic engineering involved alterations made on the genetic level. But whatever.
Dr. Nance agrees that tobacco companies have been known to be interested in that kind of research, to change the tobacco plant to suit their needs. Skinner sums this up, “A form of, what, super-tobacco?” Scully, nodding, posits that this could have created super bugs. And the real question is whether these could be dangerous to humans. Skinner looks… annoyed I guess. Or pensive.
We jump to Voss knocking on Weaver’s door. The man himself comes down the hall, cracking a joke that there’s no vacancy. Upon being asked what happened next door, with all the crime scene tape and stuff, Weaver says, “You tell me. You’re the one with the PhD. I’m just a big ol’ guinea pig.” They both enter the apartment, Voss shutting the door behind them. Then he proceeds to try to tell Weaver to get out of town, even giving him $4,000. Mr. Weaver seems unwilling, calling the money a good start. Voss gets urgent, saying Weaver really has to get out of here. But Weaver argues that he’s in a good position – he’s got “cash money” (who says that?), and all the “coffin nails” he could want. He puts one in his mouth as he speaks, and remarks casually that this particular type seems to be causing others health problems. Indeed, Voss stares at the unlit cigarette nervously, and jumps when Weaver opens his lighter.
After threatening to light it for a few seconds, Weaver closes the lighter and ushers Voss out the door. Voss protests, very nervously, that Morley will kill him if he threatens them. But Weaver seems unconcerned, and tells Voss it’s not his problem. Defeated, Voss leaves. We see Brimley watch him go, then look meaningfully at Mr. Weaver’s door.
Wonder of wonders, Scully is doing another autopsy! This time it’s on Mr. Weaver’s unfortunate neighbor. Skinner walks in and asks what he’s looking at, and the answer is AUGH! No, sorry, that’s just my response when I see organ tissue covered in larvae. I know they’re just mealworms in real life, totally harmless, but eeewwwww. Scully explains that it’s the neighbor’s left lung and bronchus. Skinner notes that this is a good explanation for where the beetles came from.
Mulder comes in, and tells them that he’s been trying to look at Morley’s files. He doesn’t seem interested in looking at the nasty bug-infested lung, but walks over to a chair and sits down to listen while Scully explains that it’s the larval stage of the tobacco beetle, somehow nesting in the neighbor’s lungs. To Skinner’s question, Scully answers that for Jim, the larva must have already pupated and left the body en masse. She’s distracted by Mulder’s coughing as they continue to discuss the details. The coughing doesn’t sound good. And indeed, when he pulls his hand away, it’s covered in blood. Dramatic music as they all stare at the blood in horror.
A bunch of surgeons are doing a procedure involving a tube down unconscious Mulder’s throat, in the next scene. We see that larva are being sucked out of his lungs and ending up in a collecting jar. I say again: eeeeww. Poor Mulder. Scully is one of the doctors, of course, and she looks on worriedly. Seeing Skinner outside the OR, she leaves to talk to him.
He wants to know how Mulder is. She explains that they’re using a deep-suction technique meant for asthmatics and cystic fibrosis patients, and they’re having some luck clearing his lungs. Skinner senses that she’s still troubled, though, and he’s right. Though they’re able to remove some larva, they don’t know how many eggs may still be in the lung tissue, ready to hatch. Say it with me: Eeeewww. All they can do is buy time.
Skinner asks how the eggs got into his lung tissue. Scully duhs that he must have inhaled them. Blah blah blah, the upshot is she thinks the genetically altered bug eggs got into some cigarettes, and were carried into Mulder’s lungs as smoke. Of course, since neither Mulder nor Jim smoke, they must have been around someone who does. Dun dun DUN!
We go to the Morley plant, where Skinner is marching purposefully into an area the location title tells us is the research division. He is flanked by other agents in their snazzy FBI coats. They confront Lawyer Phil, who is on the phone, and Skinner tells him not to bother calling security, because they got the search warrant. As Phil reads it, Skinner tells the other agents to get to work. Voss is there, and Skinner demands to know what is going on because one of his agents is dying of the same thing that killed Jim. Aww, I love when Skinner gets protective of our favorite duo.
Voss looks down dejectedly as Lawyer Phil repeats his lawyer spiel about that information being the property of Morley Tobacco. Skinner gets in his face and says that “this is about saving lives.” What a tired line. It works, but it’s used on every show involving any kind of law enforcement, or heck, every medical show. Voss speaks up, “That’s exactly what we were trying to do.” Though Lawyer Phil advises him not to, Voss wants to spill the story. Disgusted, Lawyer Phil leaves him to it.
They were trying to genetically engineer a safer cigarette, because people are never going to not smoke. Right, like a tobacco company employee really wants people to stop smoking. Anyway, the bug-altering was an accident, and all their tests showed no problems – even with human subjects. But after a few months, three out of four test subjects died. Probably with beetles spewing out of them, I’m guessing. Skinner surmises correctly that this was what Jim was going to testify about. He was the one monitoring the subjects, and that, as Voss says with a tear in his eye, is how he “got infected.” Skinner asks after the subject who didn’t die, and of course the next scene is…
Skinner breaking down Weaver’s door, gun drawn. Aww, yeah! I love Skinner. Weaver’s not there, but Brimley is, tied to a chair and gagged. Skinner calls that the room is clear, and Voss comes in, explaining that Brimley said he meant to get Weaver. Skinner removes the gag (bad idea!!!!) and says it looks like Weaver got to him first. He’s right, because all Brimley can manage is a wheeze before there is a NASTY squishing sound and beetles pour out of his mouth. Eeeeewwww!! Why I am recapping this, again?
Darn it, I forgot there was another scene before the hospital again. Sigh. Anyway, Darryl Weaver pulls into a gas station. His car has a Morley bumper sticker, I see. Oh no, it’s Brimley’s car, I get it. Okay. He stupidly lights up his last cigarette right next to GALLONS AND GALLONS of highly explosive fuel, but doesn’t blow up, sadly. That’d make this scene more interesting. So, yeah, he goes into the mini mart and asks the kid behind the counter for “Mickey’s Big Mouth”, which I assume is a kind of beer?
The Poor Doomed Kid says there’s no smoking, but changes his mind when Weaver slips him a hundred dollar bill. He goes into the back to get the beer, and asks solicitously if Weaver would like anything else, like perhaps some cigarettes. But Weaver says they don’t have his brand, and pays for the stuff. I wonder why he bothers to pay, since the kid is probably going to be dead or at least incapacitated & on his way there in a few minutes. At the sight of some cops examining Brimley’s car, though, Weaver takes off.
Okay, back to the hospital! Scully walks into Mulder’s room, where he’s lying there apparently asleep. She takes his hand. He makes a sound and opens his eyes, whispering hoarsely that it must be bad. I assume he means because she looks so worried. Anyway, Scully smiles at him, still holding his hand. Aww. She asks how he feels, and he whispers, “Like a dust-buster attacked me,” coughing weakly. Poor Mulder. She tells him they’re looking for someone who might be able to help him, a Morley test subject by the name of Darryl Weaver. Mulder nods in wry recognition, calling him “Mr. E Pluribus.” Hee. Scully smiles at his joke, as she always does when she’s worried about him, although in this case I don’t know why she’d get it since she never met Weaver.
Anyway, she explains that it seems Mr. Weaver has some sort of immunity, so if they find him, maybe they can figure it out. Mulder doesn’t respond, but that’s because he’s busy gasping and choking and being unable to breathe. See, like I told you, that’s scary. (Incidentally, there’s an outtake for this scene in which GA follows up right here by shouting, “Freak! I’m freaking out!” I don’t know why she does that, but it’s awesome because it’s GA, and now my sister and I say that to each other whenever we’re, well, freaking out.) Scully yells for the doctor as she watches his stats go wild. She holds Mulder’s head, trying to help him breathe, and tells the doctor he needs some O2 because his sat’s down to 72. They call Code Blue.
Scully looks on in fear and anguish as she sees a beetle crawl out of his mouth under the oxygen mask. Not. Cool. But I wish the shippier parts of this scene were longer.
Later, Scully is watching the nurse attend to Mulder, a pensive and worried expression on her face. The doctor comes up, addressing her as “Dr. Scully,” which is a nice touch, and shows her Mulder’s x-ray. It’s riddled with larva. She says in dismay that there’s more there than there were six hours ago. The doctor agrees that they’re beginning to block the flow of blood, and that they need to “go back in there”, but that this time, “we have to crack the chest.”
Scully looks even more worried, shaking her head and saying that he’s too weak for thoracic surgery. And besides, he’ll get plenty of that, without anesthesia, in just a season! Gah. Her voice cracks a little. Sympathetic, the doctor still insists that he doesn’t have any other ideas. Scully is ready to cry but holding herself back as she says she thinks they should just wait, for the time being. The doctor replies comfortingly that that “will definitely kill him, sooner or later.” He leaves, and a very worried Scully turns back to look at Mulder through the room window.
Meanwhile, Skinner knocks at Voss’s door. Mrs. Voss lets him in and at the sight of the badge asks what’s going on. Skinner says the FBI is offering their family protection (’cause that worked so well for Jim!), but he needs to speak with Dr. Voss. However, the doctor isn’t home, despite having said he was heading there. No one can reach him.
So Skinner heads back, apparently alone for some reason, this time, to the research facility. It’s dark, and he’s walking through rows of ‘tobacco plants’, gun out. Finally, he comes across Dr. Voss, crouched on the floor. He looks like someone has hit him. Before Skinner can speak, though, Voss warns him, “Behind you.” Sure enough, there’s Darryl Weaver. Skinner aims his gun at him. Weaver announces coolly that he was just leaving, since he got what he came for. Voss adds that this means the test cigarettes. Skinner orders him to freeze.
Nonchalant as ever, Weaver asks why, and asks if Skinner is really going to shoot him. Skinner declares he won’t let him infect more people, but Weaver knows Skinner needs him to save “your boy.” He takes a cigarette from behind his ear and puts it in his mouth. Skinner yells at him not to do it, and Weaver, emotional for the first time, replies that “they say” cigarettes kill people – any brand, but he thinks Dr. Voss is really onto something with these ones. Voss, of course, says that it’s over, but Weaver continues, still looking teary for some reason I can’t quite figure out, that the first car probably killed people before they perfected it, “’cause it’s all part of the scientific process, you know?” Then he ignites his lighter.
Skinner once more announces that he will shoot, and Weaver calls his bluff again and lights the cigarette. The Music of Tension builds. Weaver rambles about how he’s a scientific marvel and they should study him and maybe he’s the cure for cancer. Nope, sorry, we already know that it’s the alien chips that cure cancer. Are we supposed to feel for him here? Why is he all choked up? Anyway, he ends with, “You ain’t gonna shoot me. Toodles,” and turns to leave. Skinner chooses this moment to finally shoot him – in the shoulder, which is what I was yelling for him to do the whole time! He puts out the cigarette and glares at Weaver. Seems like Skinner and Voss already should be infected, but anyway.
We cut to paramedics wheeling Weaver in. Scully joins Skinner, who asks for an update on Mulder. “Not good,” is the response. Very businesslike, Scully calls for bloodwork on Weaver, then notices his yellow-stained fingers. She has a House-like epiphany and then tells the doctor she needs “30 milligrams of methyl pyrrolidinyl pyridine.” Et tu, Scully, with the jargon? The doctor asks, “Nicotine?” in surprise, and she replies that it could save Mulder’s life.
FBI Headquarters, Two Weeks Later, the location thingy tells us. Mulder is typing something at a computer in his office, and Scully comes in. She greets him and asks if it’s good to be back. His voice is still a little hoarse as he responds that it’s better than the alternative. She smiles slightly and says that he’ll be interested to know that Morley Tobacco has subpoenaed the case files on him, being very intrigued to know how he recovered. Mulder asks about Darryl Weaver. Scully says he’s well enough to be moved to the prison hospital. Mulder asks, expositionally, “It was the nicotine itself that was keeping him alive?”
Scully exposits that it was because he was such a heavy smoker, heavier than any of the other test subjects. She adds that nicotine is extremely poisonous, and that it’s “actually one of the oldest known insecticides.” I did not know that. “Good for killing tobacco beetles,” Mulder grins.
Scully continues her exposition that Mulder really wouldn’t need to be told by now, that once they loaded Mulder’s system with it, it acted as a kind of chemotherapy. She’d know all about that. But, being, y’know, poisonous, it also almost stopped his breathing. Mulder says that’s not all it did, and goes over to his desk. He pulls out a pack of Morley’s and explains he bought them on the way to work.
Scully, dumbfounded, says disbelievingly (heh), “You’re not going to start smoking!” Mulder smells the pack and tells her that the addiction is supposedly stronger than heroin. But under her stare, he throws the pack away. She nods and says Skinner is waiting for them in his office. He says he’ll be there in a minute, and she gives him a weird look as she heads out. The episode ends with him looking rather longingly at the cigarettes in the trashcan. As an anti-smoking PSA episode? I think that worked rather well, since it wasn’t preachy and was actually interesting. It also worked as a “Geez! I was already terrified enough of secondhand smoke, thank you very much” episode, of course. Heh.
Recap by Mack the Spoon