6X12 – ONE SON

by foxestacado

Recap by Bolissa

This is the last Diana Fowley episode to be recapped by yours truly. ["And the last to be recapped by me. Yay for consistency!" - raceguy] The hoo hoo is fair game and no holds barred. Let’s just get right into it, shall we? The episode, I mean. Not Diana’s hoo hoo.

Previously on The X-Files: CSM took a million years explaining his life story to Diana Fowley, making her ears bleed. Not that I’m complaining about that. Mulder wanted to play one-on-one with Scully and was shocked to find out stuff he already knew. Krycek was back with the Syndicate and had to kill a Rebel Without A Face because Spender’s too much of a pussy. Mulder and Scully were kicked out of the FBI for breaking into the former LBO. Spender found out his dad was the Devil. Cassandra, The First Successful Cavity-Free Alien/Human Hybrid, returned and confused the mytharc with The NeverEnding Story. Then she found some clothes, grabbed a taxi and wound up at Mulder’s apartment requesting an assisted suicide. Mulder was ready to obey her wishes and Scully was having a heart attack. There were mysterious persons banging on Mulder’s door…

So we’re greeted with that photo of CSM and Bill Mulder from last episode. And Mulder’s voice over kicks in: “Two men, young, idealistic — the fine product of a generation hardened by world war. Two fathers whose paths would converge in a new battle — an invisible war between a silent enemy and a sleeping giant on a scale to dwarf all historical conflicts. A 50-years war, its killing fields lying in wait for the inevitable global holocaust.” Then the photo catches on fire which then fades into a flashback of the 70′s Syndicate in an air base hangar.

October 13, 1973. “Theirs was the dawn of Armageddon. And while the world was unaware, unwitting spectators to the hurly-burly of the decades-long struggle between heaven and earth there were those who prepared for the end; who measured the size and power of the enemy, and faced the choices: stand and fight, or bow to the will of a fearsome enemy. Or to surrender — to yield and collaborate. To save themselves and stay their enemy’s hand. Men who believed that victory was the absence of defeat and survival the ultimate ideology… No matter what the sacrifice.” Then the hangar opens and some dwarves with long fingers and big heads walk toward the Syndicate and CSM is going to give them an American flag. So they can fly it from their spaceship. Or hang it on their porch. Something like that. I don’t know.

Credits. Two men, kind of young and full of ideas — whose paths would cross to write for a really awesome TV show. Their partnership was the dawn of a nine year saga that would not end well. The world was unaware, unwitting spectators to their fake tans and bad haircuts. These men were faced with choices: stand and fight to keep a show that was reliant on dark and moody atmosphere in its rightful place, or bow to the will of an arrogant actor. Or to surrender — to yield to the powerful herbs and chemicals that would get them through their writing sessions. To save themselves from actually putting forth the effort needed to make the show logical and understandable. Men who believed that victory was the ratings and stringing along the shippers the ultimate ideology… No matter if things like continuity and the sanity of the fans were sacrificed.

Frank Spotnitz: So what are we gonna do with the mytharc this year?

Chris Carter: Not sure.

Frank Spotnitz: What about the bees and the corn? We going to delve into that some more?

Chris Carter: I don’t know.

Frank Spotnitz: What about the black oil?

Chris Carter: I haven’t decided.

Frank Spotnitz: Well, what are we gonna do now?

Chris Carter: It’s 4:20 somewhere. Let’s spark ‘em.

Frank Spotnitz: No it’s not. Don’t you know how time zones work?

Chris Carter: …

Mulder’s Apartment Of Interrupted Suicides. So Cassandra’s shouting for Mulder to kill her and Scully is also shouting at Mulder but hoping for the opposite result. There’s banging on the door and then these men in biosuits bust in and they’re hosing down the place. Mulder demands to know what’s going on. “Who are you?!” The decon dudes yell for them to get down and they say they’re from the CDC and they’re taking them to be quarantined. Scully wants to know what they’re being quarantined for. Then Diana “The Anti-Christ, I Mean Anti-Scully” Fowley enters, all dressed in a decon suit. “A contagion. A contagion of unknown origin.” Mulder looks kind of shocked. Scully looks pissed.

The Other Skin Shower. So our heroes have been transported by Diana’s Decon Team of Evil and they are taking a shower. They’re only one stall apart and they’re naked. The water shuts off. Mulder turns around and eyes Special Agent Dana “Plausibly Hot” Scully up and down. Scully looks up at Mulder. They stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before Scully turns away. Mulder looks unhappy. He’s possibly wishing he’d made a carpet crack to lighten the mood, that he should’ve called her “Red” or something. You snooze you lose, buddy.

Locker Room Of Fake Apologies And Feelings Hidden Well. Mulder and Scully are dressed in white scrubs and are being checked over by some dudes with radioactivity scanners, I think. “There must be some kind of mistake. I signed up for the aroma therapy treatment,” Mulder snarks. Scully would like to talk to somebody who can tell them what the heck is going on. After the scanner dudes leave, Mulder asks Scully if she has any idea of where they are. “I think, based on our travel time probably Fort Marlene. High risk decontamination and quarantine. It’s the same place Deep Throat sent me to and I stole that frozen alien fetus, which we traded for your life and then Deep Throat was shot.” I added that last part. A couple of doctors come in and check on Mulder and Scully, taking their vitals, etc. Diana comes in and she’s no longer wearing a decon suit, but dressed in a typical FBI Lady Suit. Diana “begs for their forgiveness” for this whole thing and she owes Mulder’s neighbors apologies too but they were acting on a CDC Level 4 quarantine protocol. “Based on what information?” Scully snits. According to Diana, Cassandra the Southern Oracle had a “vectoring organism” that causes the spontaneous breakdown of something and it causes combustion. “What?” Scully snits some more. Exactly. Don’t throw BS medical lingo at Scully because she ain’t going to fall for it.

Diana then reminds everyone that Cassandra was the only survivor when all those doctors were burnt to a crisp. But that doesn’t explain the “vectoring organism.” Mulder wants to know who called her. Spender did. Scully wants to know where Cassandra is. She’s isolated until she’s given the medical OK. Scully says that Cassandra was in the hospital for days and that on a whim Diana calls in the “third battalion” and the motive is very suspicious. “Scully…” Mulder says. Diana asks Scully what motives is she suspecting. Diana’s isolation of Cassandra. Diana says that she’s “Patient Zero.” That’s funny, I thought she was Patient X. Scully can’t take this woman anymore and really breaks out the snit. “No one is sick or infected here. I mean, I assume that based on you walking in here dressed to the nines offering apologies masquerading as explanations.” Mulder is annoyed and seems to be trying to get her to shut up. “Scully,” he says more firmly. Is he shushing her? Since when does Mulder shush Scully? When does he ever censor her or try to prevent her from voicing her opinions and concerns? Mulder is walking a fine line with me, that’s for sure. “Mulder, I want to see Cassandra.” Diana says that she’s isolated. Scully’s all, “Yeah, and I’m a doctor. So I think I can handle it.” Diana’s all, “Yeah but you’ve been fired from the FBI and you have no authority.” Scully rips the blood pressure cuff off from her arm and storms out of the room. Mulder and Diana just stare at each other.

Scully opens a locker to find a dull gray dress. She’s disgusted and hangs it back up as Mulder enters. Scully is pissed that they’ve burned her Armani suit. Mulder quips that “gray is the new black.” Scully is upset. “Mulder, this stinks, and not just because I think that woman is a… well, I think you know what I think that woman is.” Mulder gets that sarcastic expression, but he’s also slightly amused. “No. Actually, you hide your feelings very well.” Scully thinks that Spender calling the CDC is BS and this is just a “hi-tech government kidnapping.” Mulder called Skinner and confirmed that Spender did call the CDC. “But she wasn’t sick, Mulder. I mean, the remarkable thing is she was well. She could wiggle her toes and she even danced a jig.” Mulder asks Scully to explain why Cassandra wanted to be killed. Scully thinks it’s because Cassandra is sick of the tests, she just wants it to be over and “they’ve” taken her so the tests can continue. Mulder says the tests won’t continue and that Cassandra knows what she is. She knows it’s dangerous for her to be alive. Scully: “You don’t mean that ‘Southern Oracle’ crap?” Mulder: “I think she’s the one, Scully.”

Syndicate Office in NYC. Alex “One-Armed Leather Sex Machine” Krycek is giving CSM and his cronies the 411 on the Cassandra situation. He recovered all the medical files he could could get his hands, I mean hand, on. The doctors who examined her said that she might be the culmination “of 25 years of this group’s finest efforts.” Rocko, or Third Elder, guesses that’s why the rebels attacked. That they were trying to kill her. Krycek points out that they killed everyone but Cassandra, when they could’ve easily fried that crazy freakshow to a crisp. Krycek says that they did it to keep her alive, to prevent them from killing her. Doug, or First Elder, asks what the rebels want. Rocko says they want to destroy the Syndicate because they know once the (other) aliens learn about Cassandra, colonization will start. The Fourth Elder, let’s call him Heffer, says they must destroy Cassandra. CSM pipes up to nay Cassandra’s destruction and to just let colonization begin. “Save ourselves.” Heffer comments that Bill Mulder was against this whole thing. CSM says that Bill Mulder sacrificed Samantha because he knew this day would come. “What choice have we… If you want to see your families survive? If we want to see those we sacrificed returned to us?”

Chris Carter: *exhales* Ok, I think I’ve got an idea. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* What’s that? *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* Why don’t we bring back that crazy Cassandra and she can be the first successful alien/human hybrid? *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Ok. But what about the Samantha clones and the Kurt Crawfords? Weren’t they hybrids? *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* Um… let’s just say they were unsuccessful. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Well, what’s Cassandra gonna do this time around? *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* She can be returned from the tests and then she can do… something. I don’t know. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Why don’t we bring the faceless rebels back, too? *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* That’s a great idea. I think we’re onto something. The rebels can burn up some project doctors but Cassandra is found unharmed. Then we’ll somehow get Mulder and Scully to find out about her relation to Cancer Man. Oh! Mulder can find out that his father and CSM were working on secret government projects. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Yeah, but that’s something Mulder already knows. *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* Who’s even gonna remember that? *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: …

Fort Marlene. Mulder walks out into the hallway and he’s wearing a suit that’s way too small for him. And white socks. He sees a big nurse with big gray hair down the hall. “Hello? Hello? Oh, Ma’am. These shoes? They’re two sizes too small. I was wondering if I could get a … A pair that fit, maybe?” The nurse ignores him. “Two sizes too small”? How’d he get his feet in there? A bone saw? Then he sees a blonde woman duck into a room and Mulder sort of limps after her. He enters this lab/storage room and sees the lady. Hey! It’s Marita Covarrubias. She looks rough, yo. Like some chicks I’ve seen down in NYC, i.e. crack whores. She tells Mulder that she can’t be seen with him or CSM and the Syndicate will kill her. “What have they done to you?” Mulder asks. She says she was tested on. “Like the tests on Cassandra Spender?” No, that was the hybrid program. Marita was infected with the black oil so the secret vaccine could be tested. Mulder feels sorry for her. And then they blah blah about stuff we already know. The hybrid program was in cooperation with the aliens, even though that doesn’t really make sense because why would they want alien/human hybrids? Why not just wipe us off the planet? Why the dilly-dallying for 50 years? And then the vaccine was developed in secret to buy time, to develop a weapon. And then they pull that Cassandra Spender Is The First Successful Alien/Human Hybrid thing and Marita says colonization will begin if the aliens find out about her. Then Marita tells Mulder that she’ll “do anything” for twenty bucks. ["Even Krycek's prosthetic arm. Going to Hell now. Quit blocking the entrance, Fouley!" - raceguy]

The Southern Oracle’s Hospital Room. Spender has come to see his mom. She wants to know why she’s there and he tells her that she’s safe from CSM. She doesn’t think Spender can do much about CSM. Spender says that he can and there won’t be anymore tests on her. Aww. “You don’t understand about me. The Nothing is coming, Jeffrey.” Spender tells her that he does understand. “You don’t understand what will happen… what will happen to you if they find me out. The Nothing is coming. You have to let me go!” Spender says that they’ll just hurt her again. “Yes. You must let them. That’s how the story goes. The Southern Oracle gets sucked into the Nothing. Or everyone dies. Jeffrey! Please!” Spender walks away and right by Diana, who was watching this whole scene. “We gotta get my mom on some strong meds. Maybe transfer her to some psych ward or something.”

The Lone Gunmen Office Of Male FBI Agents Who Really Piss Me Off. The office buzzes and my main man Frohike unlocks a whole bunch of locks before letting Special Agent Fox “Renownedly Arrogant” Mulder in. He quips about the “latest in home security” and then Frohike says something like “you gotta get through me.” Mulder then says that Scully called him and it was urgent. They walk into the office and see Scully with Langly and Byers. Scully asks Mulder to hear her out before he objects and then tells him that they found everything they could about Diana. Mulder doesn’t have time for this because for someone obsessed with finding the truth, he sure doesn’t mind believing the lies. Scully comes right out and tells him that Diana is “playing [him] for a fool.” Mulder says that he knows her and Scully doesn’t. She points out that Mulder used to know her and he doesn’t anymore. Byers then pipes up and says that Diana was working in Europe for seven years in the FBI’s anti-terrorism unit but Scully says there’s absolutely no information about her activities. Mulder then gives a sarcastic melodramatic gasp and quips about indicting her with that information. Then Scully tells him that her travel records were purged from her FBI files but they found them in airline manifests. She was moving extensively throughout Europe and took weekly trips to Tunisia. Was Diana having an affair with Strughold? Anything’s possible, I guess. She was probably the Syndicate’s bicycle. Mulder asks what the purpose was for Diana’s travels. Langly and Frohike tell Mulder that they took “a flyer” and found Mutual UFO Network logs. Scully tells him that Diana was going to every European MUFON chapter collecting data on female abductees. Mulder: “So she’s collecting data. Big deal.” Scully: “Or hiding it.” Mulder tells her that she’s reaching and then Scully reminds everyone about her own abduction and finding the MUFON ladies. Mulder asks if Diana is monitoring the abductees. Scully’s all, “You tell me that Cassandra Spender is ‘the one’, the Southern Oracle. And who’s got her isolated so we can’t see her? Diana. Plus there’s no information on her whatsoever. That doesn’t ring any alarms? You tell me to ‘trust no one’ but you’ll trust her blindly. Hello?!” Mulder says that Scully’s given him no reason not to trust Diana. Hmm. Maybe his brain’s been dying a lot longer than we all originally thought. Mulder and Scully then stare at each other.

Scully: Well, then I can’t help you anymore.

Mulder: Scully, you’re making this personal.

Frohike: Oh, no he di’int!

Langly: That ain’t right.

Byers: Uh oh.

Scully: Personal?! PERSONAL?! Of course it’s personal! I was abducted, my NECK was chipified, my sister was SHOT in the head, I almost DIED from cancer, I was abducted AGAIN and I can NEVER have children all because of the X-Files! All for YOU and your quest for the truth! And now I’ve been fired from the FBI! The only thing left is my relationship with you and if you take that away by siding with that lying whore, I’m not going to continue!

Scully walks past him and slams the door on her way out. Mulder just watches her go in silence. The Lone Gunmen give each other looks. Even they know Mulder’s being played. I have a feeling that although they’ve known Mulder a lot longer, they absolutely adore Scully and would back her up any day.

Diana’s Apartment Of Smelly Hoo Hoos. Mulder, who pretends to buck Scully’s common sense and logic but in actuality takes it very seriously because Scully is the voice inside his head, has decided to confront Diana. He knocks on her door but there’s no answer, so he breaks in using his lockpick.

Sidebar: As Mulder walks down the hallway, it’s pretty obvious that he’s never been there before. He’s even checking the numbers on the doors. I know there’s some out there who’ve speculated that the reason Mulder acted so much like a dick this season was because he was actually having a relationship with Diana. But that’s clearly not the case. I’d bet a million bucks that Mulder never associated with Diana outside of running into her in the FBI hallways. Mulder may have been hung up on her but Scully was always his #1 girl. Even if, at times, he didn’t act like it. Oh! Plus in his dream in The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati when Mulder’s talking to Diana outside after they, you know… ew, Diana tells him that he needs to become a father and he says something like he’s only slept with her the one time. And Mulder thought that all was really happening. So, yeah. He never had sex with Diana. I mean, he did before of course. Years ago. But not since she came back. Moving on. ["Clearly, he didn't rattle her nymphomaniac bones, then." - raceguy]

So Mulder breaks into her apartment. No lights are on and he goes into her bedroom, looking through her drawers and only finding cigarettes (Because she’s evil!) and lingerie (Because she’s a whore!). He sniffs the panties, makes a face like he’s going to puke and throws them back into the drawer. The apartment door opens and Mulder pulls out his gun. CSM enters, lights a cig, walks into Diana’s bedroom and right in front of Mulder’s gun. Mulder quips about the interesting company CSM keeps. CSM snarks about Mulder’s lingerie fetish. Mulder tells him that Diana’s panties are foul. Mulder calls him ” C.G.B.”, says they he knows his game and he’s “got nothing to lose.” Except his life. And Scully. But you know, besides those two things he’s got nothing to lose. CSM remarks how he’s been in front of Mulder’s gun before and he was too much of a pussy to pull the trigger. Mulder cocks the gun. CSM then pulls the old Manipulation Card out of his back pocket and tells Mulder he came to Diana’s apartment because he was looking for Spender. LIAH! He says that Spender has betrayed him and chosen to believe in Mulder’s cause. “That presumes my cause is wrong.” CSM tells him it is. Mulder starts yelling. “I’m not the one using innocent people — innocent WOMEN — as lab rats, trying to create a hybrid — an alien/human hybrid — so that I might save my own SORRY ASS when they finally come knocking…” I think Mulder has finally figured out who was behind Scully’s abduction. Bravo, my friend. Bravo. It only took you four years. I think he deserves a promotion to Captain Obvious.

CSM smiles but Mulder doesn’t think it’s funny. CSM tells him that Bill Mulder was against it too and then we’re treated to flashbacks of the 70′s Syndicate in that air base hangar. CSM blah blahs about the State Department and 1947 and Roswell. WE KNOW! Bill Mulder was against allying with the alien colonists. Then Mulder and CSM go back in forth about who was saving who and how they postponed invasion and Mulder berates him for giving their families to the aliens like they were objects. CSM blah blahs about the alien DNA and the hybrid program and the vaccine, which was Bill Mulder’s idea. CSM continues to bore us to death with talk of the virus and the bees and how they’re going to hand over Cassandra. Colonization will start. Mulder stands up. “You stop it… or everyone dies,” Mulder says rather weakly. CSM says that he’s going to live. Then CSM manipulates Mulder by saying that the only way he’ll live and see his sister again is by joining his cause. What a liar. He knows Samantha is dead. At least I think so. But I highly doubt at this point 1013 knew Samantha was running around in the starlight. ["Of course not. They probably didn't know until they were writing the last five minutes of Closure." - raceguy] Anyways, CSM hands him a piece of paper. “Save her. Save yourself.” Then he leaves.

Ok, sidebar: I’ve been racking my brain over the identity of “her”. He could mean Diana because that’s whose apartment they’re sitting in. But CSM has got to know that Mulder and Diana have no relationship, right? So could he be talking about Scully? She’s the only legitimate “her” in Mulder’s life and CSM knows that. But maybe he was talking about Diana. I can’t figure it out. I want to go with Scully because that’s what makes me happy. But in all likelihood he was talking about Diana.

Syndicate Office in NYC. Spender walks in but it’s empty except for sexy, sexy Krycek. ["He's so evilly hot that even Al Gore wants to kill him." - raceguy] Apparently he’s just been sitting in the corner, sulking. Or something. Krycek’s like, “If you’re looking for your dad, you’re too late. They skipped town.” Spender’s all, “But they’ve been here for 50 years! Since 1947! Since Roswell!” Krycek: “You’re not getting this. They’ve gone to West Virginia. The grey dwarves are going to pick them up and give them hybrid genes. Oh, except your daddy. He’s getting your mother.” Spender: “He can’t get to her. I’ve got her guarded.” Krycek: “I think you’ve seriously mistaken your place in the chain of command. He’s already had doctors looking at her and they’re probably about to leave right now.” Spender high tails it outta there.

Frank Spotnitz: So Cassandra is returned and the rebels attack. What then?

Chris Carter: How about colonization will begin once the aliens know she exists?

Frank Spotnitz: Sounds good. So what then happens to Cassandra?

Chris Carter: The Consortium can decide to give Cassandra to the aliens to start colonization. So they can save themselves at the expense of everyone else.

Frank Spotnitz: What are we gonna do with the mytharc once the Syndicate’s plans are finished? I thought the invasion wasn’t happening until 2012?

Chris Carter: Um… I don’t know. Maybe the Consortium should just kill Cassandra to prevent colonization.

Frank Spotnitz: Then how should we wrap up the rebels plotline? The fans are gonna want answers. Hmm. We should at least give out some new information about the mytharc. Something involving Samantha, maybe? How about we explain the mutated virus and the bees?

Chris Carter: Who cares about that? The movie doesn’t count.

Frank Spotnitz: …

Chris Carter: I think I need to roll another fatty.

Frank Spotnitz: …

The Southern Oracle’s Hospital Room. A doctor comes in with a needle. EW! OMG! Somebody hold me! Cassandra starts spazzing, as one would, and they sedate her while she’s calling them “bastards.” Then CSM, “The Biggest Bastard Of All”, walks in. The doctor leaves. Cassandra says how nobody ever questions CSM’s authority even though he’s a coward. CSM doesn’t want to talk about the past, he wants to talk about the future. Cassandra’s like, “Well that’s good because you stole my past.” CSM isn’t going to defend himself, but they’re here now alive because of what he’s done. For many years Cassandra didn’t understand. “I know it now. Only now. It was you. G’mork.” It was never CSM’s intention to harm her. He wanted to save her and Spender. Cassandra says that he can never save Spender because he knows what CSM’s done to her. “There’s only one way to save him. Only one thing you must do. You have to kill me. I must be sucked into the Nothing. That’s how the story goes.” CSM can’t do it. Cassandra says that she must die or “they all die.” CSM runs out of there.

Diana’s Apartment Of Punks Named Mulder. So Mulder’s just sitting there, looking dejected. Diana “I’m Loyal! Pinky Swear!” Fowley walks in and Mulder scares her. He apologizes. She wants to know what “Fox” is doing. “Nothing. Not a damn thing. I came here looking for evidence. Evidence that you’d lied to me — that you had loyalties other than to me or to the X-Files.” Nothing could be further from the truth, “Fox”! Except, the exact opposite of that. “I didn’t find anything. But your panties reek, Diana. You should see a doctor about that smell. Something found me, though. Fate. Destiny. Kismet. Divine will. Providence. Karma. Lady Luck. Whatever it’s called when you realize that your choices were already made and you can do nothing except sit in the dark like a gutless wonder.” Diana would like “Fox” to tell her what happened. “CSM came here, which I should be suspicious of but I’m just going to put that out of my mind, looking for Spender because he’s taken up my cause that is futile. Worthless. Hopeless. Hollow. Trivial. Nugatory. Otiose.” Diana wants to know why his cause is futile. “Because there’s nothing to be done. I have to accept that the only way the people I love are going to survive is if I give up. Because I’m a pussy. Like my father.” Mulder hands her a piece of paper that reads: El Rico Air Force Base. “That’s where it begins. That’s where we need to be if we want to survive at the expense of the rest of the world and everything I’ve worked for during the past six years.” Diana then kisses Mulder and hugs him. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Then the camera reveals the typical conspiratorial expression on Diana’s face.

Sidebar: Why didn’t Mulder get on the phone and call Scully immediately after his conversation with CSM? Why sit around and wait for Diana to come home? Why? Because he’s a punk.

Fort Marlene. Spender enters his mother’s room but she’s gone. He’s upset. Then Marita CovaCrackWhore comes in and asks Spender to help her because “they” are going to leave her there. Spender is freaked out and tells her to stay away from him. Marita says that the Syndicate’s packing up house and they’re not coming back. She tells him that she knows him and she can help him. Spender begs to differ. Ah, but Marita knows where they’re taking his mother and how. Then she tells Spender she’ll “do anything” for twenty bucks.

Fort Marlene’s CryoLab Where Scully Found The Frozen Alien Fetus And Still Refused To Believe. A Random Doctor comes in and takes the alien fetus from one container and puts it in another. The same big nurse with big gray hair that ignored Mulder earlier, has walked in and RD is not happy to see her. “Shut the door. This is a highly sensitive area. Get back. You’re at high risk of contamination. Leave the room.” Well, apparently this nurse isn’t really a woman. I guess this particular Rebel Without A Face has seen Mrs. Doubtfire one too many times. The RWAF starts choking RD because I guess he left his trusty torch at home. RD rips the “nurse’s” face off. A few seconds later, NotRD walks out of the lab.

Diana’s Hallway Of Mulder Getting Some Sense Knocked Into His Head. Mulder and Diana walk out of her apartment. Mulder’s calling Scully, who’s driving.

Mulder: Hey Scully, it’s me.

Scully: I was just dialing you. Weird how that happens, huh? So… where are you?

Mulder: Uh… I’m, uh…with, uh… Diana.

Scully: Oh, really? I’m coming to get you. Right now.

Mulder: No. We’re betraying mankind and you’re coming with us.

Scully: I don’t think so. I’m taking you to Cassandra.

Mulder: Cassandra’s gone.

Scully: I know where she is.

Mulder: It’s no use, Scully. We have to give up. It’s the only way. Woe is me.


Mulder: Where are you going?

Scully: The Potomac yards because they’re taking her by train car.

Mulder: How do you know that?

Scully: Well, besides the fact that a train is the Syndicate’s favorite mode of transportation, Spender called me.

Mulder hangs up and tells Diana to go ahead without him. She asks Mulder what Scully said but, interestingly, he doesn’t tell her. He just says that this is his and Scully’s last chance to stop the Syndicate. He walks down the hall. “It’s because of my hoo hoo, isn’t it?” Diana calls after him.

Potomac Yards. Scully’s driving(!) her and Mulder alongside Cassandra’s train. Mulder tells her to turn around. Scully whips a U-turn and pulls in front of the train. Then our heroes get in front of their car, pull out their guns and shoot at the train. They’re firing off rounds and one hits the window of the conductor (if that’s what he’s called) and the train puts on the brakes. Mulder grabs Scully and they jump off the tracks right before the train plows into their car. This show really was awesome at times, wasn’t it? Then the project doctors in the train are all like, “What’s going on?” Then we see NotRD mingling with the doctors and Cassandra’s gurney.

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* I really don’t see how we’re going to explain all this. *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* Why don’t the rebels just destroy the Consortium? You know? Burn them up with their torches. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Really? What about the clones and the virus and the bees and the hybrids? *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* With the Consortium dead and gone, so is the conspiracy. Then we don’t have to explain anything. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Then what are we going to do with the mytharc? *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* I don’t know. I’ll think about that later. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* But we’ll need something to distract the fans from noticing that we’re not actually revealing any answers. *passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales* Let’s make it a reunion show. We’ll bring back Krycek and Marita. We can have Mulder and Scully fight over Diana. Cancer Man can blah blah about Roswell and 1947. Then the rebels can burn up the Consortium. How do we get Mulder and Scully back on the X-Files? *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Well, we gotta keep CSM alive. Hey! I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we have CSM shoot Spender in the face? *passes*

Chris Carter: …

Frank and Chris: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

El Rico Air Base. The Syndicate has gathered with their families.

Potomac Yards. The Skinman has come to get Mulder and Scully. Mulder says that their lives are in danger and they don’t have much time. Skinner’s like, “You couldn’t tell me that over the phone?” Mulder wouldn’t have wanted to create “mass panic” if they had been overheard. Skinner’s all, “Would you get to the point?” Onward to El Rico Air Base!

El Rico Air Base. A jeep pulls up and the doctors, CSM and Cassandra unload. Doug tells CSM that they waited to send their communication. Rocko says they were worried that something had happened. CSM tells them that they were shot at. Rocko asks who. CSM says he doesn’t know but the way he says it, it makes me think that he may have an idea. CSM looks around. “We have people missing. Where’s Alex Krycek?”

Fort Marlene. Krycek gets into the CryoLab and finds the empty alien fetus container. He spazzes. Later, he’s walking down the hall and Spender calls over to him. He’s standing in the doorway of one of the hospital rooms. Spender’s trying to get out of there but they won’t recognize his authority to release a patient. Krycek’s like, “What are you talking about?” Spender opens the door wider and Krycek is shocked to see Marita CovaCrackWhore. Spender tells him that CSM messed her up and she wants to tell her story. Krycek calls Spender a “sorry son of a bitch” and says that the rebels are going to win. “They took it.” Spender doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But Krycek and Marita exchange knowing looks. Krycek then walks away. Marita runs after him. “I’ll do anything you want for twenty bucks! How about ten? Ten dollars, Alex! I’ll take real good care of you. Ok, five?”

El Rico Air Force Base Hangar Of A Burned Up Mytharc. Diana “My Hoo Hoo Is” Fowley pulls up in her car. Her and CSM get out. Wasn’t he just there? So he left and met Diana somewhere? Whatever. A bright light appears at the end of the hangar and the doors begin opening. The elders start freaking out because they haven’t phoned the aliens and this is not how it’s supposed to happen. CSM and Diana get back in the car and drive off. The Rebels Without Faces encircle the Syndicate and their families. The Syndicate and their families are then torched.

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales**passes*

Chris Carter: *exhales**passes*

Kersh’s Office Of Inappropriately Over-Emphasized Words. Kersh is looking at the photos of the burnt Syndicate. He’s kind of upset. Mulder, Scully and Spender are sitting in chairs in front of his desk. Skinner is standing behind Mulder and Scully. Both literally and figuratively! Kersh offers some sympathies to Spender for his mother. But that’s not what why Spender asked for the meeting. He feels responsible for those deaths “in no small way” and he didn’t prevent them. “I can assume then you can explain how they died? Because I have yet to hear any explanation.” Spender thinks Mulder and Scully can explain it and they may have prevented those deaths. “Agents Scully and Mulder have been suspended by the FBI.” That was Spender’s fault. Spender tells Kersh that he should do everything he can to get Mulder and Scully back on the X-Files because far worse will happen. He then gets up and Kersh demands to know where he’s going. Spender says he’s going to pack up his office. “Agent Spender…” He pats his half-brother Mulder on the shoulder and then leaves. I guess he got over those Mulder-induced inferiority complex issues. “You have answers now? Why didn’t I hear about those answers before?” Mulder’s always had answers. “Then why didn’t we hear about them?” Because nobody would listen to Mulder. “Who burned those people?” Mulder then says that the Syndicate burned themselves by sleeping with the enemy, and not Julia Roberts’ husband from that movie, only to awaken another enemy: Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. “What the hell does that mean?” Mulder says that “it means the future is here, and all bets are off.” That certainly describes the state of the mytharc. “Agent Scully, make some sense.” Scully wouldn’t bet against Mulder.

Basement Office That Was Once Lush And Now Home To A Man About To Be Crispified. Spender walks in to find CSM sitting at the desk looking at that picture of himself and Bill Mulder that apparently had burned up in the teaser during Mulder’s voice over. He tells CSM to get out. CSM tells him about the picture and about how that other man was Mulder’s father. “He was a good man… a friend of mine… who betrayed me in the end.” Spender doesn’t want to hear CSM’s babbling about the good ole days and he knows enough about him to hate him. “Your mother was right. I came here hoping otherwise.” CSM takes out a gun from the drawer and stands up. “Hoping that my son… might live to honor me… …like Bill Mulder’s son.” CSM then raises the gun and shoots Spender in the face. He puts the gun back into his coat and leaves.

Chris Carter: *exhales* This is some good shit right here. *passes*

Frank Spotnitz: *exhales* Oh, yeah. *passes*

Recap by Bolissa