Good Cop, Insane Cop: The Adventures of Moose & Squirrel

Recap by Buffangel

MEMENTO MORI – Remember to die, remember death, and remember you must die. Screw you Chris Carter!

This is the episode that began it all. I whined and whined about how Jessica should recap this one last episode of the X-Files and someone in the TWOP Meet Market told me to do it myself. Needless to say, I am scared shitless. First of all, this is my first recap ever, and secondly, it is my first proper review of any kind of film material in over twelve years. The only other film reviews I’ve done are of The Glass Menagerie and The Shawshank Redemption in my ninth grade English class. Anyway, that is neither here nor there, so onwards and upwards.

This episode is the end of an unofficial three-parter (in my opinion) that begins with Never Again, flows into Leonard Betts and ends with Scully and cancer. Maybe CC and 1013 are trying to say that if Scully has sex she will die. Which is why we never got to see her and Mulder do it. Or is it? Either way, this is a popular storytelling choice in the Sci-Fi/Horror genre; the reasons for that continue to elude me.

It is my understanding that the episodes were actually aired so that Leonard Betts came before Never Again, but that was just result of the collective Fox/1013 crack-pipe sharing shenanigans talking, so I am going to pretend that never happened. Kind of like most of seasons 8 and 9 — aka the Adventures of Dog and Moron.

Hmm, at the rate I’m going I think this recap is going to be an expression of my own megalomaniacal cosmology.

So we start off with darkness and a rectangular shaped light glows in the center of the screen as Gillian Anderson/Scully begins her heart wrenching voice-over. In the background, the incomparable Mark Snow (who may face any real competition only from Christophe Beck and Bear McCready) plays some tune that can only be described as the sounds of impending sympathetic character death. This is a triple whammy y’all: the music, the image, the voice-over. Ten Thirteen are out to make you cry like a baby — no doubt about it — and they won’t settle for anything less than you curled up in the fetal position screaming, “This is not happening”! I surreptitiously fumble for the Kleenex; I am nothing if prepared. I mean the last episode had an actual cancer-eater tell Scully she had something he needed. Gulp! I reach for my cell-phone and have my finger poised on ‘Mom’. What? She can make this all better. So what if it’s 3 am Canadian time? Parenting is a full-time gig!

So anyway, Gillian Anderson’s voice-over has begun and I wonder with a heavy heart where these poetic sounding words are going to take us in this episode.

“I feel time like a heartbeat, the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning. The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal, threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in its passage.”

The white rectangle comes into focus and we see a solitary figure with its back to the camera in a hospital gown.

“I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me. Knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other.”

The figure is clearly Scully and she’s studying an X-ray.

“That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions.”

I double gulp and a whimper for good measure. The X-ray is of a skull which clearly shows a rectangle in the nasal-pharyngeal area. The light in the dark that we saw in the opening shot looks exactly like the chip in the X-ray.

“If not for which, I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you, and look at you, incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you.”

The camera pans on Scully’s face which reflects so many emotions that I can’t even begin to name them. Gillian Anderson is not going to take any prisoners here either! I may be wrong but I don’t think this show has ever written words that affected me as deeply as the ones Scully voice-overs here. And I would like to imagine that Anderson herself got choked up reciting them. And then there is the added bonus of imagining Mulder’s reactions if and when he reads these words. I suddenly get scared thinking that this is a flashback episode and Scully is already dead. You have no idea how hard it was to type that!

Credits.

There’s something very nostalgic and bittersweet about the credits, because now you’re wondering how much longer you are going to see them while secure in the knowledge that you will see Scully and Mulder doing their thing when they are over. Then I have a vision of Mulder left all alone to continue on his quest for the truth, wondering how much he is to blame for Scully’s death and whether or not he still cares to do this without her. Then I get even sadder, frantic and panicked, thinking that I am Mulder and those words Scully spoke were addressed to me. In a way that is not entirely incorrect, because in this instance, we the audience are Mulder: we too have been through this journey that began four years ago. We too (especially those of us who were unspoiled) freaked out when Scully was abducted two years ago. And we were there right beside Mulder rejoicing when she was returned in One Breath. In conclusion, 1013 you sneaky bastards…well played, well played.

Man these credits seem both longer and shorter than usual: I can’t decide. So I am going to use the credits to wipe my eyes and bestill my hammering heart. Let’s find out what “memento mori” means. I love the information super-highway! According to the Tate Britain’s website, it is a “Latin phrase meaning remember you must die. A memento mori painting or sculpture is one designed to remind the viewer of their mortality and of the brevity and fragility of human life in the face of God and nature.”

So that’s what the X-ray skull was about! It totally ties in with the popular Renaissance art choice of skulls and skeletons, but who cares? Scully’s got cancer and that’s all that matters. I am not even thinking about symbolism or whatever. There is no time!

Holy Cross Memorial Hospital, Washington D.C. Mulder walks in with a bouquet of flowers (sob! I mean sigh. I’m not crying yet!) and asks for directions to Oncology. He hesitates in the doorway when he spies Scully studying that infernal X-ray. As if somewhere deep down he knows what he is about to hear and wants to brace himself or just hold on to the illusion that everything is okay and he is probably worried about nothing.

He walks in and calls out her name. She turns around to look at him and he waves the flowers at her. Aww. They are both smiling at each other here. He proceeds to make a classic Mulder joke about stealing the flowers off a guy with a broken leg. (I laugh through the blur in my eyes and frog in my throat.)

He asks Scully how she is doing. “I guess that’s the question,” she responds. David Duchovny does a great job of showing his apprehensiveness at what she is going to say. She says she feels fine. They gaze at each other and their eyes tell each other to brace themselves. I am not making this up: that is what the look that passes between them communicated to me. Mulder asks what they are looking at. The camera pans on a wall of X-rays of Scully’s skull and some brain x-ray thingies too. Some great directing on Rob Bowman’s part, as the shot has Anderson and Duchovny standing apart with the memento mori x-rays in-between them. This ties in nicely with Scully’s voice-over about crossing to face [Mulder-sic] as he continues on their journey without her. They are coming apart. And so am I. Mulder asks her what they are looking at. Scully does her Dr. Scully no-nonsense routine and tells Mulder in a detached-medical-opinion-kind-of-voice that she has a nasal- pharyngeal mass. Mulder asks if it is a growth and she confirms it’s a tumor. She looks at him bravely and tells him he is the only one she’s called. NoRomo my ass CC! Mulder nods in acceptance and understanding and then tremulously asks Scully if the tumor is operable. She says no, with her brave face still on. Mulder asks if it is treatable then and she explains that it is not. The camera pans on Mulder as he says he refuses to believe that and he falters unable to finish his sentence. The camera angles to film her face over Mulder’s shoulder just as Scully steps in and says that, for all the times that she has said that to him, she is as certain about this as he has ever been. She smiles at him ironically as she says this. The camera goes back to him as he shakes his head slowly from left to right. The stubborn denial and unwillingness to believe her is subtle, but it is perfectly portrayed. Scully’s voice wavers as she spells it out for Mulder and the audience: she has cancer and there is about zero chance of survival if the tumor pushes into her brain. Mulder stammers that he doesn’t accept that, and there must be some people who have received treatment for this that they can… He breaks off again and Scully nods, understanding what he is trying to say. She takes a deep shaky breath and looks up at him before she turns to the X-ray wall, back in doctor mode, and removes the infernal X-ray from the wall, effectively getting rid of the images that divided them in the earlier shot. Folks, Anderson and Duchovny brought whatever is higher and better than their A-game here. I don’t think any writer or director could have imagined that they would bring to this episode, and especially to this scene, what they have. But more on that later. We still have a hallway scene coming up!

Skinman’s Office. Shot of file passing from Scully’s to the Skinman’s hands. He says that this is the worst possible kind of news. No shit Sherlock! And I just have to ask is there something wrong with the entire FBI when it comes to emotion?!

Scully talks to Skinman with her arms crossed against her chest in what I imagine is a half-protective, half-defensive gesture, but could also just be wholly combative. Mulder stands in the background, fidgeting and looking very uncomfortable. I’d like to think in his mind he’s thinking, this is not happening! Scully tells Skinman she wants to exhaust a possible avenue of investigation with Agent Mulder. Said agent is looking at her like he’s unable to comprehend why or how she’s so cool about the cancer gig she’s landed herself. They explain to Skinman that they want to find and question Betsy Hagopean (sp?) a purported abductee from last season’s Nisei/731 two-parter.

Casa de Betsy, Pennsylvania. A woman is scraping a MUFON sticker off a window as the reflection shows Mulder and Scully’s car parking on the sidewalk across the street. Now, I don’t know if it was just 1013’s usual overweening urge to make everything ambiguous, but the woman who turns out to be the realtor sets my Nefarious Character Spidey senses a-tingle. She tells our agents that Betsy is no longer of this world and hasn’t been for the last two and a half weeks. Mulder looks at Scully. Duchovny does a great job of showing Mulder’s concern for Scully, not only health wise, but also for how this news is going to affect her. There is disappointment and encroaching despair on her face, but she does not actually make eye contact with Mulder. I love how attuned these two are to each other, both as actors and as characters. Well played!

As they enter the house, Scully has a flashback wreathed in white misty light of when she first came to this house and met the other abductees in Nisei. Sniff! Why didn’t I see this coming?! She touches the back of her neck in remembrance while Mulder discovers a second line on the phone. She is thankfully distracted from the dangerous path of feeling sorry for herself (we’re here to do that for her) and they run to the basement to discover that someone has remote access to the system. Scully dials a number to their special line in the Bureau that traces the call for them. I have to say — I really wouldn’t mind having a contact like that. Every time someone calls my cell phone and it’s a private number, I would just call my contact and find out who it was. Or maybe I’m oversimplifying things… the bottom line is that is not a bad contact to have.

We’re now outside an apartment block and Scully tells Mulder that apartment 234 is listed under Kurt Crawford: the unscrupulous hacker from Betsy’s computer. Scully rings the buzzer and they do their usual, you-go-in-the-front, I’ll-check-the-back routine. I love their routine. Please don’t let Scully die! Mulder goes to the back and a young-looking Kurt busts out the back door and starts running. Mulder gives chase and Scully turns up and draws her gun yelling, “Stop! Federal Agent! Hold it!” Aww she’s so cute. Mulder slams the guy into the wall and throws him on the ground. From the slightly more emotional tone in Scully’s voice, to the slightly more aggressive handling of Kurt, it’s clearly evident that this time around Moose and Squirrel are personally invested in this case. I am too because I’m shouting, “Yeah, throw his ass to the ground! If he’s not doing anything wrong then why is he running!?” Scully runs up to them gun still drawn demands if the perp is Kurt Crawford. He says yes. Mulder looks up at Scully who’s breathing heavily from the run, and possibly from trying to suppress some of the emotions that keep threatening to get a hold of her. Rob Bowman only shows us Mulder looking up at Scully and we only see the concern on his face. He says, “Scully.” She goes, “What?” He gestures to her nose which we see is bleeding. Duchovny acts the hell out of this scene. The debilitating fear that’s baying at the doors of Mulder’s professionalism, as well as the general ability to function, translates beautifully onto the screen. Scully brings a hand up to her nose sees the blood and tells Mulder she’s fine. I think this is the first nosebleed she has had in front of Mulder and you can see that it shakes her up a little bit. Almost as if by those few drops of blood she can’t pretend that she doesn’t have cancer anymore. She tells Mulder to quit staring at her. He looks at her sadly before he looks away. Mark Snow starts some sad tune. I call my Mom but she doesn’t answer, I think she’s sleeping in my time of need. Figures!

The next shot is of blood dripping into a sink. Scully is so not fine! I know this is compelling storytelling, but I can’t help but ask why 1013 is torturing us. And even though I know what happens in the later seasons, I still can’t help but to think they are going to kill Scully off. Mulder knocks on the door impatiently and asks her if she is okay. Yeah Mulder, she’s fine! She comes out of the bathroom with her Kickass Scully resolve face on. If Mulder has a panic face, Scully so has a brave and a resolve face! I have to admire the writing and acting choice to have Scully be so determined and business-like. It resonates better. She notices that Mulder took Kurt’s cuffs off and she’s not impressed. Mulder explains that Kurt was a member of MUFON and Betsy told him to download those files. Scully asks what I asked: “then why did he run?” Mulder explains Kurt was scared for his life. Scully asks Mulder if he thinks Kurt is credible. Mulder says he knows an awful lot about what happened to Betsy and the other MUFON members. Scully scoffs that that will have to be cross-checked as she turns towards Kurt. Heh. Mulder says they can’t. Scully turns around and asks Mulder why not. Duchovny emotes the reason why very well. Scully’s composure cracks a little here as she realizes that all of the women are dead. She brings the resolve face back on and walks in to talk to Kurt, crossing her arms again. Mulder remains in the background. The guy is having a real hard time dealing with this and so am I, goddamnit. Anyhow, Scully asks Kurt how the women died. He explains it was from brain cancer, and all in the last year. Scully is skeptical when she asks, “All of them?” Kurt says yes, all except for Penny Northern, who’s on her deathbed in hospital. Scully is resolved/determined (or both) as she asks him what makes him think it’s a government conspiracy. Kurt comes back with, “What makes you think it isn’t?” Heh. He then proceeds to tell her that all the women had similar abduction experiences, they all developed the same terminal illness and were all refused State healthcare because of their insistence of the facts and all dead within a year. Scully looks like she’s fighting very hard not to lose her shit. Mulder peels himself off of the hallway wall and gently puts a hand on her back as he pulls her away from Kurt to talk to her. She looks up at him expectantly, and a little impatiently, as he says he wants her to listen to him. She asks him about what and he says about what she won’t admit to herself and what she is denying. Scully’s voice does something funny as she asks him what she is denying. Mulder says where her cancer came from. She tells him it doesn’t matter, he argues it does, and how if the government knows something about her abduction then those are facts that should be brought to light. Mulder? How is this going to stop Scully from dying? If you don’t have anything constructive to contribute to this problem, then don’t say anything until you do! God! Am I the only person looking for a cure here? Scully argues that she doesn’t have any recollections about the abduction or what happened to her, and she doesn’t think these abductions are even abductions. Mulder says all the women are dead. Seriously, Mulder you’re not helping. Scully’s voice wavers as she says not all of them. Penny Northern is still alive. Scully’s face is heartbreaking here. Mulder nods gently and says she should talk to Penny Northern seeing as she won’t listen to him. Dude I’m not even listening to you anymore, Mr. Negativity! Scully, voice still wobbly asks him if she should ask Penny Northern what it feels like to be dying of cancer. Mulder shakes his head sadly. Scully asks if she should ask Penny about how it feels knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Mulder tells her that if that’s too hard for her then she should go in as an investigator, she’s got one remaining witness and Scully looks up at him questioningly. Mulder continues, “I think you’d want to know what her story is.” They exchange one of those long searching and communicating looks like they always do. Okay, I know Mulder was annoying me a little earlier but I totally love him again for that, and so does Scully.

Allentown Medical Centre. Scully pushes open a door and gets a good look at how she’s going to look in less than a year. Penny Northern is in a mismatching outfit made up of a maroon bathrobe and blue towel/turban thing. She smiles serenely at Scully and says, “Dana!” I don’t mean to be harsh, but those colors are not doing Penny any favors. Whatever happened to dying with dignity? If I was on my deathbed I would totally be decked out in silk peignoirs and the like.

Scully asks if Penny knew she was coming, and Penny smiles that serene Madonna smile and says no, she recognized Scully from their shared abduction. She then says she used to sit with Scully and comfort her. Scully apologizes if she appears to be insensitive but she doesn’t share those memories. Penny smiles that smile of hers again and says it is alright. Scully approaches the bedside and sits down telling Penny she is here to ask her some questions. Penny volunteers if the questions are about Dr. Scanlon. Scully says no, and asks who Dr. Scanlon is. I like the way half of Penny’s face is in the light and half of it is in the dark, as is Scully’s. If one was to get all whimsical and deep about this it is like the two women both have a foot in the grave, but they also have that small chance of survival. Penny explains that Scanlon’s the doctor treating her cancer and he treated Betsy’s. He also believes that he could have saved Betsy and Penny if they had caught the cancer sooner. Scully and I both feel the tender wings of hope flutter in our chests. “His name’s Scanlon?” Scully asks. Good call Mulder, I’m sorry I was hating you earlier. This is something that we can work with here!

Mulder is in Betsy’s basement, going through files, when his phone rings. He answers and starts rambling the second Scully confirms it’s her. We hear Mulder try so hard to be cool about the fact that Scully (that with which he cannot live without) is in a hospital interviewing the last living woman who’s dying of the same incurable disease that she has. He talks without letting Scully get a word in edgewise, as if his talking faster will somehow alter the course of events or news that Scully is going to give him. I love false bravado. I employ it all the time. We get a shot of Scully listening to him and she closes her eyes, telling us the information Mulder has found is not that important in the grand scheme of things. She’s also partially trying to steel herself for whatever she’s going to say, and I think she’s worried about how he’s going to take what she is about to say. She tells Mulder to bring her overnight bag to the hospital and call her Mom to ask her to bring up some things, and that whatever he’s found or whatever he will find, she thinks they both know the truth is in her. Can I just say if they both already knew that way back in season 4, why does it take another three years for Mulder to find it in her pants? Or does he? Ugh, yes he does! Anyway, back to the emotional evisceration. Mulder says, “I’ll be right there.” And Duchovny’s face and voice almost finish me off… again. Scully smiles poignantly at the handset as Mulder hangs up, then she grimaces a little. Her face is in shadow but Penny, behind her, is lit. She turns around after a second and faces the light. Get it?

Back at Betsy’s, Mulder shoves the file cabinet door shut angrily, gets up, picks up his jacket and just walks out leaving Kurt in the basement alone wondering what just happened. My God, did Duchovny and Anderson take their acting spinach in this episode or what? Mark Snow’s Drums of Impending Action pick up as we see Mulder get into his car, completely focused on what’s ahead as he drives off. A car parked on the same street starts up and drives into Mulder’s recently vacated space. The drums are still going here. Someone enters Betsy’s and we hear Kurt call out “Agent Mulder?” It so isn’t! Whoever it is pulls out those alien killing spiky things and after a brief futile struggle stabs Kurt in the back of the neck with it. He proceeds to turn into green goo. Oh no! Not Kurt! Does this mean his bad?

Back at the hospital, Scully’s in a bed. She’s sleeping and looks so cute. She wakes up and turns over to look at this bright white light. We see there is a man standing there. I initially thought it was Papa Scully come to visit her from the beyond. But it’s not! It’s a real live man in a white coat watching her. Creepy. I don’t know what the rules of doctor/patient etiquette are but I can’t imagine it is remotely proper for a doctor to stand and watch his patient sleep as he waits for her to wake up. I mean how does he know when she is going to wake up? Is he just going to stand there for hours on end and ignore other patients while he waits? Anyway, they talk shop about her illness, etc. Anderson acts the hell out of this scene when Dr. Scanlon brings up the effects that the chemotherapy and radiation are going to have on her. MaScully comes in, just in time! She’s worried and over-compensating. My memory is a little rusty, but am I correct in assuming we never saw any parents from the Mulder family hover around Mulder whenever he was in hospital? Scully tells her Mom she’s fine. Scanlon leaves, thank God. He gives me the creeps! MaScully, like me, is justifiably upset, and demands to know why Scully didn’t tell her about her illness immediately. Scully tells her Mom she didn’t want to until she had all the facts. MaScully tells Scully she shouldn’t keep her in the dark; she is her only daughter now. (Sob!) She gets all teary and hugs Scully while Scully maintains her composure and holds her Mom, offering more comfort than taking it. Can I just say Anderson is a consummate actress with incredible range? She is so underrated!

Cue Scully’s diary voice-over as they show us Scully undergoing treatment.

In med. school, I learned that cancer arrives in the body unannounced. A dark stranger who takes up residence, turning its new home against itself. This is the evil of cancer; that is starts as an invader, but soon becomes one with the invaded, forcing you to destroy it, but only at the risk of destroying yourself. It is science’s demon possession. My treatments, science’s attempt at exorcism. Mulder, I hope that in these terms you might know it, and know me, and accept this stranger so many recognize, but can not ever completely cast out…

Shot of Mulder entering some dark office with a teeny tiny flashlight.

…and if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention, something you might have done. And though we’ve travelled far together, this last distance must, necessarily, be travelled alone.

Seriously 1013! What are you doing to me?

We learn that the dark office is at the Center for Reproductive Medicine in Pennysylvania. I like the way Mulder is in the dark. It works on as many levels: it’s a nice tie-in to MaScully’s comment about not wanting to be kept in the dark, as well as Scully’s voiceover about the darkness swallowing her. It looks like the darkness is already swallowing Mulder. It also somehow highlights how small even he is in the face of death. Memento mori! Or maybe I’m just overanalyzing. Anyway, Mulder tip taps at a computer trying to get in. Someone comes in he hides then pulls his gun on them. It’s Kurt Crawford! They banter a little then end up teaming up to hack into the computer. They get in. We segue into a shot of Scully opening her eyes to a bright white light, and there’s a drill headed for her nose. Ouch. Scully wakes up and Penny Northern is comforting her: Penny’s hands are clasping Scully’s right hand. I love the way the weaker ones in this episode are the ones displaying the strength. First it was Scully with Mulder, Skinman, and MaScully, and now it’s Penny with Scully. Once again, Penny is in the light and Scully… not so much. She tells Penny she was having a bad dream about the world’s most unpleasant nose job, and she heard Penny’s voice in the dream. Penny explains that they used to let her comfort Scully for some reason. Scully shakes her head in denial and tearfully tells Penny she can’t hear this right now. I can’t say I blame her. Penny tells her she has to try and make sense of it in order to understand why it’s happening to her and deal with the pain. Both women are in the light now.

Skinman’s Office. It’s daylight. Skinman opens his door and Mulder’s sitting there at his wits end, hands clasped. He tells Skinman that he needs him to set up a meeting for him. Skinman shuts the door and asks where Scully is. Mulder says she’s in hospital in Pennsylvania and gets all fired up, showing the disc containing some info that he found at the fertility clinic. Mulder tells Skinman to set up with a meeting with CSM and that he’s ready to deal in a way he wasn’t before. Skinman tells him to find another way. Mulder says no, he needs the meeting to save Scully, and he would sell his soul to the devil himself. Well, in a nutshell, that is what he is saying! Skinman tells him no, and that he cannot ask the truth from a man who trades in lies. Mulder can find out the truth too, he’ll just have to find another way to do it. Mulder walks out. Did I mention I totally love the Skinman!?

TLG Lair. The Lone Gunmen do their hacker thing. We have Frohike in the background looking despondent. Aww. The long and short of it is they end up deciding to go to the Lombard Research Facility because they believe someone may have been trying to figure out a cure for Scully’s cancer, which they believe was activated by a gene code they found in Scully’s blood after her abduction.

Lush Basement Office. CSM is sitting in Mulder’s chair and starts digging at Skinman for having Mulder in the basement. Skinman says at least he doesn’t need to take an elevator to get to work. CSM asks if Skinman thinks he is the devil. Skinman ain’t got no time for no jibber jabber, as he just wants to know what it will take to get Scully better. Aww. The two men are squared off. Skinman tells CSM he needs a miracle. CSM says, “You think an awful lot more of me than you let on Mr. Skinner.” Heh. Skinman demands angrily what it is going to take. CSM says he’ll get back to him on that and then asks Skinman which way the elevator is. Heh, again.

Lombard Research Facility. TLG are in a storm drain with their computers and other high-tech gear. I watched some behind-the-scenes stuff where the actors said they had to tape this scene themselves because the space was too small. This is so not important. We’re more than halfway through the episode and Scully still is not cured! Mulder and Byers get into the facility breaching the security system. He discovers that Dr. Scanlon’s name in the facility and sends Byers to warn Scully to stop treatment. Cue Scully’s voice-over as we see Scully coughing as she writes in her journal. Isn’t her health deteriorating rather rapidly? How long has it been since she agreed to treatment?

I have not written to you in the last 24 hours because the treatment has weakened my spirit, as well as my body. Mulder, it is difficult to describe to you the fear of facing an enemy which I can neither conquer nor escape. Penny Northern has taken a downturn. I now look at her with a respect that can only come from one who is about to walk the same dark path. Seeing her, I can’t help but see myself in a month or a year. I pray that I have her courage to face this journey

Shot of Mulder in the hallway at the facility, as he’s trying doors. They are all locked.

Mulder, I feel you close though, I know you are now pursuing your own path. For that, I am grateful, more than I could ever express. I need to know you’re out there if I am to ever see through this.

He asks Langley where he’s going and Langley says they are losing him. A security car pulls up at the Facility. The feed is so bad TLG can’t warn Mulder. Duchovny looks really delectable in the leather and hands-free ear thingy. He jiggles one particular door and then starts demanding the occupants to open the door. It opens and we see Kurt Crawford in a white lab coat, but there are three of them! Am I the only one that was shocked at this reveal, previous green goo shenanigans aside? Mulder observes they are hybrids. They ask him to come in so they can explain. He walks in and looks around, noticing green tanks with people in them. He wipes the mist off one of them and stares at a boy with his eyes closed. Mulder recognizes the boys are the hybrids. He accuses them of using him. They deny it and say it was just a coincidence. What?! Are the hybrids like the Cylons in the sense that they all have one stream of consciousness? Anyhoodle, they take him into a room with some kind of filing system, where each file has names of women on them. Kurt One (the one who seems to remember everything the previous Kurt we saw green goo-ed said and did with the agents) explains this is a storage system for human ova. One name is Penny’s, then Betsy’s. Kurt One stops in front of the one labeled Dana Scully. Kurt One explains the eggs were harvested during these women’s abductions and that they are half of the raw genetic materials. Mulder’s eyes light up as the penny drops that these are for genetic hybridization and that these women are the hybrids’ birth mothers. Kurt One says that they are trying to help these women because they are their mothers. It’s kinda sweet. Mulder pockets one of Scully’s vials, and leaves the rest behind. Seriously…WTF? Mulder gets out of the lab and TLG are back on the feed telling him there’s trouble. It gets all suspenseful as Mulder tries to get out of the facility, while the man who I am guessing killed the Kurt at Betsy’s, stalks him. Uh oh! There’s some shooting, but luckily the doors are bullet-proof. How convenient! And seriously, what kind of research facility is this? Mulder tells TLG to work faster at getting him out of there and they manage to get the door open just before the shooter gets to him.

He runs into Scully’s room and she’s not there. Her bed is unmade and empty. He finds the diary; it’s open on the last page. He reads the page and puts it back down exactly in the same spot it was. The music swells and I get really worried that 1013 are going to start screwing with my emotions again. Mulder asks a nurse where Scully is, his voice getting louder and louder as his emotions start to get the best of him, too. See? It’s not just me. Byers calls out to him and says he got to Scully in time and she’s in Penny’s room. Mulder bursts into the room, calming down only when he sees Scully sitting at Penny’s bedside. He smiles sweetly with those puppy dog eyes he does so well. I like the way he plays it cool like, hey! I wasn’t freaking out a second ago. Nothing to worry about here! Scully looks at him, reassured, before turning back to Penny who’s asking about Dr. Scanlon, Scully tells her she doesn’t think the Creepy-possibly-Murdering Doctor is coming back. Mulder is still standing there, watching, as Scully strokes Penny’s face gently. Penny manages to spare a serene smile in Mulder’s direction and then tells Dana not to give up hope, and that she’s got to be the one to survive the cancer. Both women are lit now in their shots. Dana says that she hasn’t, and that she won’t, give up. Mulder backs out of the room, looking a little more at ease from hearing that. Scully turns to watch him go before turning back to Penny. Brave face on as the enormity of what Penny’s death, and Dr. Scanlon’s disappearance, means for her sinks in. She loses her composure, tears welling up in her eyes.

5.05 am. Mulder’s sitting outside the room with one hand on his forehead. A nurse runs past him and he gets up, anxiously looking at the door. Scully walks out without seeing him, headed away from him. He seems to hesitate a little then he follows her slowly, softly asking if Penny is gone. Scully turns around trying to bite back the tears and nods. Hold on folks, get your Kleenex ready for the blasted allergies that crop up at the most inopportune times. Mulder says he’s sorry, he knows what she meant to her. Now we hear something similar a few years down the road and I have to say, I hate it when he says that. He moves closer then stops. Scully has this look on her face that I can’t describe as she walks towards him. Mulder gestures to Penny’s door and confesses that when he didn’t find her in her room he got scared. She stops a short distance from him and crosses her arms as she looks up into his face. Mulder also admits he read some of what she wrote in her diary. Now, Mulder is a much better human being than me, because I would totally have gone back and read the rest of her diary. But then again, maybe that’s why I don’t have a tall, dark, handsome, and brilliant partner that loves me more than anything or anyone else in the world. Scully closes her eyes. The tears threaten again as she tells him she didn’t want him to read that and she was going to throw it out. She decided tonight that she came into the hospital able to work and that is how she’s going to leave. Mulder nods with approval. They share a look and smile at each other in understanding. I love their secret language! Mulder asks her if Byers told her about Scanlon, Scully says he did. Mulder says he may have very well killed those women to which Scully gives her Scully answer, “that will have to be proven… if we find him.” Mulder, warming up to the prospect of the return of Moose and Squirrel, corrects her and says, “When we find him.” Aww. I’m smiling too here. He brings on the usual Mulder intensity about how they are going to find out what was done to her and they are going to explain it. And that no matter what she thinks as a scientist, or as a doctor, there is a way and she “will find it to save herself”. She takes a deep breath and tells him that she can’t kid herself any longer and that people live with cancer. They carry on, and so will she. She draws a shaky breath and tells him she’s got things to finish and to prove to herself and to her family (and to him – she doesn’t say that but she so wanted to), but for her own reasons (whatever those are)! Mulder smiles at her in agreement and encouragement. Duchovny looks so pretty in this shot. He says something I can’t hear, I am going to say he says “come on then”. She smiles up at him with what can only be described as love and walks into his open arms. He’s still smiling as he hugs her and rests his chin on the top of her head. They hold each other tight and the camera pans out to show us both their faces, as well as the contrast in their heights, which makes the hug even sweeter. Mulder is smiling and Scully is seriously scared, I think. Mulder says the truth will save her and he thinks it will save both of them. She chokes up, he kisses the top of her head, and she closes her eyes, trying desperately to get a grip. She takes a steadying breath and turns her head as he clasps it in his big beautiful hands. What? Duchovny has big and beautiful hands! I have a thing about hands. He kisses her forehead and she looks up at him. If you freeze frame this moment it looks like they are going to actually kiss. But why would you do that? They do some more silent communication as Mulder strokes the sides of her head and then Scully closes her eyes. She starts to walk away from him. Mulder turns to watch her go, pulling the vial of her ova (eww) out of his pocket he fingers it thoughtfully, still watching her go as he pockets the vial again. Now, I don’t mean to be nitpicky, but unless Mulder went back to the facility with the right storage equipment there is no way they are going to try and convince us that this is the very same vial that Mulder refers to in Per Manum, is there? I mean, I’m no scientist or anything, but isn’t the point of storing them in whatever it is they use to freeze ova is to preserve them? And what happens to the ova in the remaining vials?

ANYWAY, he makes a resolve face and continues to watch her go. In retrospect, it’s a resolve face to keep the truth about her infertility and the Hybrids from her. So much for the truth saving them both then, huh!? I know, I know, he’s only doing it to protect her, blah blah blah.

Next shot is of a phone going off in Skinman’s office. Mulder’s voice says he was just about to leave a message. Skinman’s a bit brusque and asks Mulder what he wants. Mulder tells Skinman that Scully’s doing okay, she’s coming back to work, and that they should find out what CSM knows. However, Skinman was right they should find another way. Skinman says there’s always another way, and as he’s hanging up, we see cigarette smoke. CSM agrees and says there is… if Skinman’s willing to pay the price. He gets up and leaves Skinman staring at the door after him. CSM is such a drama queen! But I have to say I absolutely love how all the people in Scully’s life started falling apart with the advent of her cancer. And no one’s life crashed as much as Mulder’s because he loves her and she loves him and she is the one with which he cannot live without! Or can he?

Next week back to basics with kick-ass Moose and Squirrel action as aliens steal time and magnificent Max returns to our screens… well, sort of!

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Recap by Buffangel