2×10 – RED MUSEUM

by foxestacado

By ejluther

We all know Mulder and Scully chased answers to hard questions for years – but what about the age-old query, “Where’s the beef?” Why, it’s in this episode, RED MUSEUM! Along with some actual continuity and foreshadowing! Let’s get started, shall we? A bit of back-story, first – Mulder’s mysterious and oh-so-vague informant, Chris Carter – um, I mean “Deep Throat”, was seemingly killed in front of Scully in the season one finale when he croaked his final words, “Trust – gasp – no one.” But do they listen? Of course not. In fact, there’s lots of duplicitous women from the past, half-insane UFO abductees and creepy disfigured Mulder-imposters waiting in the wings for our favorite FBI special agents to blindly trust in the future. But, for now, let’s go to the museum…the Red Museum.

Fade in – a large sign announces “J.A.S.D. BEEF” as we enter a beef processing plant. Cattle meander through the maze of fences that inevitably lead to their deaths as the camera pans across their hairy little faces. An abrupt cut shows us the end result – a raw slab of cow-torso. The meat is thrown upon a cutting table to be sliced in half, while other chunks of meat are thrown about and soon the blood-splattered workers are breaking for the day. A guy creepily with what kind of looks like a chain-link purse thrown jauntily over his shoulder winks toward Beth as he makes his exit and, now, we’re following her. If you’ve ever seen an XF pre-episode teaser before you know something creepy is about to happen – but will it happen to Beth or because of her? She sighs, “See you tomorrow”, and we cut to the exterior of a house wherein a standard teenage boy and his little brother are watching some sort of police bust on the tube. The little one is sitting way too close to the screen so I start to suspect that the XF in question will be about “The Boy Who Sat Too Close To The TV And Went Blind!” and the havoc he wreaks about the world! But, no – it’s only Season Two so we won’t hear the scraping of the barrel for years now. Beth walks in (now decked out in high-waisted mom-jeans and a denim shirt) and greets her boys, both of whom seem nice and normal. After some banter about pizza for dinner (Beth doesn’t want pepperoni – get it? She’s sick of meat.), she walks into the bathroom and now I know this has to be it – bathrooms are typically dens of doom on this show and so I’m ready for a man-sized snake to slither from the electrical socket and suck her brain out and replace it with spaghetti or something. Beth starts to unbutton her shirt and show us her bra when we switch to the POV of someone else – is it Snakeman?!? No, just some pervy guy peering at Beth’s chest while breathing heavily – very Psycho. From the shot it appears he’s behind the mirror so perhaps he’s itsy-bitsy and living in the medicine chest – hey, it’s possible. Anyway, he’s wearing glasses so we can identify him later and Beth continues to strip while staring at herself in the mirror, the way we all do. Mirror-perv suddenly steps away and the phone rings. The older teenaged boy answers it and quickly hangs up after agreeing to something – he plays “got your nose” with his brother and calls him “butt-crumb” while saying he’ll be back in five minutes. Yes, he calls him a “butt-crumb”. Cut to worried mom on the phone saying he’s now been gone for four hours and she doesn’t know who called him. Didn’t they have *69 back then? Say, did you ever wonder who picked those particular two digits for the call-back function? Someone named “Beavis” or “Butthead” is my guess. Anyway, worried mom strokes the head of her younger son as we fade to an outdoor scene. Soon, missing nose-snatcher wearing only white briefs that are nasty and dirty comes into frame, desperately grasping a tree before lumbering off. A pair of deputies driving by watch as the boy stumbles into the road in front of them. As they approach we can see scratches and bruises on the boy’s body and they recognize him as Gary Kane, calling him by name. Gary looks as though he’s tripping on some bad acid as the deputy tries to calm him down. Gary remains like a frightened animal as he stumbles away, turning around to reveal his bare back upon which someone (something?) has written, “He is one”. We fade to black and are left to ponder, “One what? One victim? One bad mother- (shut your mouth!)?” I’m sure we’ll find out soon.

Cue opening credits as the familiar theme and title images fill the air and screen – then we fade into another beloved slideshow about the boy and how normal he is. Mulder sexily eases onto this desk while Scully looks on, wearing a white jacket with some of the biggest lapels I’ve ever seen – seriously, they look as though they could fold up any second and envelop her head, like a Venus Flytrap. But they don’t and Mulder continues to debrief her (As if! Scully won’t get any real debriefing from Mulder for at least five more seasons) about the case. Scully joins Mulder as the exposition continues and we learn there have been two other victims nearby with the same writing on their backs. This is the part where Mulder posits a crazy theory while Scully pleads logic and science. Instead, Mulder passes the crazy-buck and says a local Wisconsin sheriff thinks the kids have been possessed. I guess Scully will have to cock her eyebrow at someone else this time.

Next we find the dynamic duo in WI, driving along with said sheriff. He tells them about the Church of the Red Museum, a group of radical vegetarians in the area who bought a ranch and made it a “monument to barbarism”, turning 500 head of cattle into pets. Pets? What, do these cows fetch their slippers and roll over for belly rubs? Anyway, we find out a guy named “Odin” runs the cult and he’s from California so you just know he’s nuts!

As the car approaches the ranch/church we get our first look at the cult members; they’re decked out in white tunics with loose white pants and bright red turbans. It’s raining and Mulder holds an umbrella over himself and Scully while she tells the sheriff they don’t look much like people who would do awful things to those kids. Why she thinks this is anyone’s guess – never trust a cult member in a blood-red turban, I always say. As they enter the building we see a gathered group of cult members in chairs staring at a blank screen up on a stage where another cult member sits. Is it their first day? Will they get a Powerpoint presentation called, “So you’ve decided to join a cult!”? Unfortunately, they don’t and this Odin soon takes the stage and bows to the audience. The actor looks familiar if you’re an X-Phile, and here’s why; he makes an appearance in a Season 7 episode that actually follows through on concepts floated here. But more on that later…now back to RED MUSEUM where Odin sits at a computer and begins to type with his eyes closed as another cult member reads his writing aloud – here’s what she says, “Today is a blessing from our lord and master, who awaits his flock in this time, the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. Eighteen earth years from the beginning of the new kingdom. The guides speak through me today as messengers of word that we may be free from death and the passage into spirit. As the acceleration continues, we, the enlightened, must bring our teachings of the skills for survival to mankind. Repeat in prayer…”

Now, references to the musical HAIR aside (sing it with me, “When the moon is in the seventh house…and Jupiter aligns with Mars…”), what’s really telling about this “automatic writing” passage is the bit about “Eighteen earth years from the beginning of the new kingdom.” – this episode is set in 1994 and in 18 years it will be 2012, the date of alien colonization. Put that in your continuity pipe and smoke it! Of course, it will be quite hard to pry the pipe out of the hands of the stoned red-eyed 1013 crew but just distract them by exclaiming, “Oh, look! A squirrel!” and you’ll have your chance. But that’s not all! Mulder goes on to explain what’s driving the cult’s actions. Again, I’ll quote “They’re walk-ins…They’re believers in soul transference, enlightened spirits who have taken possession of other peoples bodies.” See, walk-ins aren’t only welcome at nail salons and beauty parlors – they’re also here at the Red Museum and, infamously, are the reason behind the mysterious disappearance of Mulder’s sister, Samantha. That’s right – years from now we’ll find out that these mysterious “walk-ins” saved Samantha from horrible tests and a life of pain by spiriting her away into starlight. And the connection I mentioned earlier? The one concerning the actor playing Odin, Mark Ralston? Well, he plays a different character in SEIN UND ZEIT, the first episode in the Season 7 two-parter that answers the Samantha question. To be brief – Ralston plays the father of the missing girl, Amber LaPierre, whose disappearance leads Mulder to the truth about Samantha. And the same type of “automatic writing” displayed in RED MUSEUM plays a big part in SEIN UND ZEIT/CLOSURE. But enough about future episodes and back to the cow-loving, spirit-transferring and turban-wearing cult; Odin soon calls out the “three who do not believe” in the audience – he must mean the sheriff, Scully and the mouse in her pocket because we know Mulder, as a general rule, believes. Odin warns the three about eating meat and we’re left to wonder if the cult is behind the attacks on the kids. Could the “He is one” mean “He is a meat-eater”?

Cut to poor traumatized Gary as he talks about how he was in the woods and felt a spirit enter him. Mulder pushes the issue and Gary says it might have been an animal spirit but that he can’t explain it or remember much else. Scully starts to explore the house and happens upon the younger boy, Stevie. I love it when Scully interacts with little kids – she’s just so damn good at it. She doesn’t talk down to them at all but still maintains a maternal air – it’s too bad she can’t seem to hang onto her own kids, but that’s another story. She asks about the night Gary disappeared but gets nowhere. While they talk, we switch to a different POV and see that Mirror-perv is back! He ogles Scully for a bit before she leaves with Mulder and the sheriff, who tells the agents that Gary has changed and won’t even suit up for football now. Talk about misplaced priorities – the kid’s been possessed by some sort of graffiti-spouting demon-cow spirit and all he notices is he doesn’t want to toss the pigskin around anymore? Mulder seems to think the “Meat Is Murder” cult may be responsible and asks the sheriff where they can get a hotel room and some grub.

Fade up on Scully’s sauce-splattered bib (a nice callback to the blood-splattered aprons at the meat plant) as she sings the praises of the BBQ she’s devouring. She’s got an adorable smudge of sauce on her mouth and Mulder reaches out to wipe it off – at this moment, a million shippers’ hearts flutter and Scully smiles at his simple gesture. But then it’s back to business as she presses Mulder for more information about these “walk-ins”. Mulder tells her it’s a new age take on an old idea, that if someone has lost all hope and is consumed by despair then they’re open to being inhabited by an enlightened spirit. Again, if anyone had lost hope and was consumed by despair, it was Samantha. Mulder name-checks some famous folks like Lincoln and Gorbachev as potential walk-ins before some trouble outside attracts their attention. A group of kids are harassing a cult member on the street, calling him “Aladdin” and “Diaper-head” before Mulder shows up to intervene. Scully follows and the gang of hooligans call her his “little wife” before they notice wifey’s packing some heat. The sight of Scully’s gun causes the head creep, Rick, to brag that the sheriff’s his father before skulking away to undoubtedly mug a guy in a wheelchair or throw rotten vegetables at your grandma.

Later, Rick drops off his skanky girlfriend after swishing his tongue around her mouth and drives off to cause more trouble, leaving her to walk through a darkened parking lot alone. Soon a whimpering sound attracts her and she spots her dog behind some trashcans. But, of course, it’s a trap and she’s soon nabbed by a shadowy figure and a cloth put over her mouth. The next thing we see she’s wandering through a forest dazed and bruised, she looks up a tree and a giant bird swooping down to peck out her eyes before a swarm of bad CGI cockroaches start to attack. We pan away to see “She is one” written on her back.

Cut to hotel room where Scully tells Mulder that the girl’s been drugged with a strong anesthetic with hallucinogenic qualities, a drug only a doctor or pharmacist could most likely obtain. In turn, Mulder’s found out that Odin, the creepy cult leader, used to be a doctor so they’re off to question him. They arrive to talk with Odin and I can’t help but wonder if those turbans leave red stains on their heads. They look hot – I bet they are and then you sweat and then the red dye leaves a bright red ring around your noggin, like you were buried up to the top of your skull in the sand and got a bad sunburn. Ouch. Anyway, Odin won’t let them in because they eat meat and stuff. Mulder puts up with none of his guff and tells him to come outside because he’s arrested, taking him to the sheriff’s office where they question Odin about the drug found in the girl’s system, scopolamine. The sheriff goes all nutso on him and tries to get him to admit he attacked those kids before Mulder leads him out. Poor Mulder – the sheriff’s stealing all his thunder, what with his nutball theories and going all crazy-cop on Odin’s ass. That’s Mulder’s job, dammit!

Anyway, more trouble calls them away to the street as the sheriff’s son, Rick, drenches a cult member with a bucket of cow blood. Very Carrie. The sheriff begins to berate his son when yet another creepy guy gestures to Scully to come over to his truck. She does and he says there’s something he’d “like to show her”. I bet he does. Creepy old guys always do.

Soon Mulder and Scully are in his truck, all riding in silence. They come upon a pasture and the truck stops. Creepy old guy spins his tale of his past and how things have changed around these parts; how they now use genetically-engineered growth hormone on the cows and how the people in town have all gotten meaner, how high school boys are now raping girls and stuff like that. And how he thinks the kids in the woods and the meanness of the town all come from the same root source – the growth hormone. Scully protests that the hormone’s been cleared by the F.D.A. to which creepy old guy scoffs, “Says who? The government?” Snap! Mulder smirks a bit and they leave the scene. We then cut to the men who’ve been injecting the cattle with the growth hormone in the pasture only to see that one of them is Mirror-perv! It’s the glasses that give him away, of course.

Hours later, we see a plane in the sky and its cockpit scene; the pilot tells his passenger they’re not going to make it to the airport and they’ll have to try and land the plane now. He also helpfully calls his briefcase-clutching passenger “Doc”. The plane slams into the ground erupting into a huge ball of flame. At the crash site investigation, we see two body bags and the sheriff tells our agents that one of the victims was Dr. Larson, the man who delivered his son. They also find the briefcase that was so important to the doctor and find it full of money and vials of some mysterious liquid. Scull snaps on the latex and checks out the fluid – let’s just say at this point she knows it’s probably not monkey pee.

Scully and Mulder do some digging and find out that Dr. Larson was the doctor for every one of the kids who have been abducted and “possessed”. There’s also some stuff about credit cards from the victim’s families and we find out they don’t know what was in the vials yet. This episode is chockfull of questions and they do their best to reiterate each and every one of them for us before we cut to cult members walking through a field near Mirror-perv and his friend as they finish up their cattle-injecting business. Mirror-perv drives away as another car approaches. Eagle-eyed X-Philes will recognize him as “crewcut man”, the assassin of Deep Throat. To me, he also looks a lot like Brian Thompson, the actor who plays the Alien Bounty Hunter but I don’t think that means anything. Anyway, crewcut man gets out and shoots Mirror-perv’s friend in the same direct, no nonsense way he dispatched with Deep Throat. Apparently, he comes to kill people and chew gum. And he’s all out of gum.

Mulder and Scully show up to talk with Gary’s mom and tell her they suspect Dr. Larson of doing something suspicious to her son. They find out that Gary’s never been sick “a day in his life”, a fact that strikes Mulder as odd. She goes on to say Dr. Larson gave Gary “vitamin shots” as he did with a lot of kids as a preventative measure and we know this can’t be good. She mentions her husband, Jay, and how he wanted to take Gary to a different doctor but then Jay was “accidentally” killed at work. And where did Jay work? Why, the meatpacking plant, of course. Mulder notices a pinhole of light coming through the mirror and they discover Mirror-perv’s secret hideaway, replete with video camera and boxes of videotapes.

We find the sheriff’s son, Rick, and a little friend sitting in Rick’s truck, listening to metal music and drinking beer when the little friend announces he has to “drain the lizard” – 1013 does love to write dialogue for adolescent boys, don’t they, butt-wipe? Anyway, while he’s taking care of business we see Mirror-perv take out Rick with the old cloth trick. Rick’s eventually found in the woods with – you guessed it – “He is one” written on his body. Only, this time, the victim’s dead. Nearby, crewcut man walks out of the woods up to his car and puts a gun in his trunk. Again he looks remarkably like Brian Thompson to me and I half-expect him to shape-shift but, of course, he doesn’t. But we are left with the impression that he killed Rick. Not that we feel too bad about that.

Scully is looking at a folder with a photo of Mirror-perv while Mulder drives – she says his name is Gerd Thomas and that he’s owned the building where the Kanes live for 21 years. Turns out Thomas used to run a daycare center out of that building and the police are holding him. Again, I’ll point out that in SEIN UND ZEIT/CLOSURE, the villain, Santa Claus, was secretly taping children, too. Of course, that is standard Perv 101 behavior but is another connection to those future episodes, nonetheless. At that moment, crewcut man drives by and Scully seems to sort of recognize him.

Thomas is led into a room while Mulder sarcastically compliments him on his video library, especially the ones of “the little boys”. Thomas admits he’s sick and admits to kidnapping the recent kids in the woods but denies killing Rick. Thomas says he wrote those words on the kids because of what they’d become – “monsters”. He says they’ve become that way because of Dr. Larson’s tests. Meanwhile, Scully clearly remembers crewcut man as the killer of Deep Throat and excuses herself. Mulder asks Thomas more about the tests and finds out that Dr. Larson was paying him to inject the cattle with an unknown substance. According to Thomas, Larson told him he was trying to inoculate the cattle, and the kids, with it. Scully soon reenters with some answers, taking Mulder out in the hallway for some sexy close-talking. Turns out the substance was “Purity Control”, the same possibly alien DNA they found in the season one finale. Mulder deduces the doctor’s been injecting the kids with this alien DNA to see what would happen and being paid to do so and that Thomas is just the perverted sap who unwittingly blew his cover. Scully tells Mulder about crewcut man and who he is – Mulder thinks he’s now going after all the kids (they always have to destroy all the evidence, you know – it’s Conspiracy 101, after all) and he specifically says he wants this guy taken alive. Of course, we all know what that means.

Mulder and the sheriff round up the affected kids and take them to the Odin’s cult for safekeeping. Mulder then heads to the meatpacking plant and finds gasoline poured around. He walks through row and row of hanging meat, eventually finding crewcut man using the gasoline to prime the place for torching – talk about BBQ! Crewcut man then knocks Mulder over and almost lights the place ablaze, only to be shot by a distraught Sheriff. I really wanted the sheriff to then scream to the heavens, “I did it, Ricky! I avenged your death, my son!” but he doesn’t. But he does say it with his eyes. Then Mulder walks in to see the dead body of crewcut man and we feel his pain, too. Get used to it, Mulder; you’ve got several seasons of such shenanigans to go. Repeat after me, “I’ve never been so close to the truth before, Scully!”

RED MUSEUM is wrapped up with a voiceover from Scully, telling us the identity of the man shot by the sheriff is unknown, as is the material in the vials. She goes on to say that the children given the serum soon developed a severe and undiagnosed flu-like ailment but that none of the Red Museum cult got sick, leading her to think they were being used as a control group. The meat plant and the BBQ restaurant are all shut down as investigation into the tainted beef and milk continues. The case remains open and unsolved.

RED MUSEUM was originally planned to be a crossover episode with the offbeat CBS series “Picket Fences” but that plan went by the wayside. I have to wonder if the episode started as a MOTW and then, when the “Picket Fences” idea went south, they turned it into a mythology episode about halfway in – that’s what it feels like. As a confirmed mytharc-addict, I have to say I do love all the stuff about walk-ins and impending alien colonization dates and purity control. And when it came time to wrap up the Samantha plotline I think 1013 did purposefully go back to many of the concepts and ideas first brought up here (the reuse of the actor who played Odin is a nice shout-out, too). It seems they decided to have the walk-ins take it one step further and literally rescue not just Samantha’s soul, but her body, too. Either that or Samantha’s body is still walking around somewhere with a new “enlightened” soul in it. After all, they had to leave a way to reopen Samantha if they wanted to, right? God forbid something really be over on this show.

To continue the mytharc connections, in addition to the stuff about Samantha, I think we can see the genesis of the virus-delivery system here and that 1013 considered using meat/milk before they settled on using bees as transport. A wise choice – I mean, how the hell is a cow going to crawl out from under Scully’s collar and sting her right before she kisses Mulder?! That’s just silly.

Recap by ejluther